The Girl in the Middle

A guys talk

*Tom*

I have only just flopped down behind my desk, and started filling out some orders, when Clay enters. He sit down with a sigh. "Now Kattie refuses to have anything to do with the drugs as well". He sounds frustrated.

"Have you thought that they might have a good point with there refusal ?" I suggest casually. I know Amber have refused from the beginning and KC had followed her very quickly. And now apparently Kattie had joint their small revolution to Clay's despair.

"We are making way to much money on them". Clay insists. "You know how it is".

"Clay !" I slowly lean forward, keeping my eyes on his. "This month alone there has been four confirmed deaths among the tourists from drugs. Who knows how many dies after they have gone home ?"

"It isn't my fault that they take to much or mix up stuff". Clay jumps right into a defensive position. "Those deaths are not my fault, they choose it, no one forces them".

"But when we reach the bottom line, you are the one shipping in the drugs". I point out. "And you put them in the hands of the tourists. Why not stick to the sugar pills you sell as motion sickness medicine ? Or start selling sunscreen and mosquito repellent on the beach. Things that won't cost anyone their lives or sanity".

"Sanity ?" Clay is on his feet, glaring angrily at me now. "Are you starting with that too ?" His eyes are almost was black and he has dark shadows under them a clear give away that he is high.

"I know you are back on the drugs, Clay. I don't know which inner demons you are battling this time, because you seemed to be on your way back. I really thought you had beaten it". I look at him with pity. He don't scare me and he knows it.

Clay flop back down on the empty chair with resignation. "I am afraid to hurt her, to betray her". He sigh. "Which is really stupid, because she is dead and has no idea what I am doing. And still I feel like I am mocking her by having created a new Amber, by wanting another woman in my life".

"She wouldn't have wanted you to give up. And she most definitely didn't want you doing drugs". I actually have no idea what she would have wanted. But I hope she had been that sensible at least. "The Amber you got now needs you. She don't need you on drugs. She cares for you. Hell I even dare say she might be falling for you despite everything you have done".

Clay closes his eyes for a moment. "How can I know what my feelings for her are ? If it is really her that I want or it is just the memories of feelings she awakens ?" He ask opening his eyes. "When I am high, I don't need to think about those details. I can disappear into another world. A world where I don't hurt the people I care most about, because I won't have to see them again. And still she is always on my mind. It takes all my willpower to keep away from her bedroom at night when I get home, not to go in there and take what I want".

"Another very good reason to stop with the drugs". I make a mental note about showing Amber how to do most damage with a knife and tell her to keep it under her pillow. "If I find out you have forced yourself on her in any way, you'll be changing Your name to Betty".

I ignore the suspicious glare he sends me and continues. "Your will is much stronger when it is your own Clay. Without the drugs you could practically run the underworld. If you had kept up your training you could have been one of the best. You would be able to protect her".

"See, I don't know if that is Kattie's words coming from your mouth or would it happen to be yours I hear from her mouth". Clay say sounding annoyed. "She has started coming to you again, hasn't she ?"

"She is worried about you and Michael won't listen to her". I say, making sure to slide around the actual question. I know what me and Kattie is doing is playing with fire. If it comes out, Clay has to either cut the alliance with me or he would be publicly humiliate his second in command.

"Michael haven't said a word to her since she stopped selling". Clay sigh. "It was the drugs that made him come here, he says it was to stop them, but honestly I think it was for the money and he is definitely not about to give them up".

"So are you in charge or is it Michael who are in charge of the Shadows now ?" I ask him. Clay needs to step up and take responsibility. He started the Shadows 7 years ago because he wanted to be able to do things they way he wanted them done and not just follow Gerard, but now he is just following Michael instead.