Fire

Chapter 3

Bolting up, I take in my surroundings. Why am I in Eric’s office?

Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I dial Ciara. I know it’s only 8 in the morning, but if anyone would know, she would.

“Hey Emma” she greeted breathily.

“What happened last night?” I immediately asked.

“What do you mean?” she asked warily.

“I know I had to have come in for my shift, but why am I not remembering it? Why am I waking up on the old as f**k cot in the office, and why do I feel as if I was in a fight with Rhonda Rousey?”

“You’re saying you don’t remember even coming to work?”

“I don’t know what happened. I remember reading at home, and then I’m waking up here. How do I lose, what 16 hours of time?” I’m running out of the office and across the empty bar towards the exit. As I enter the code for the door, it swings open revealing Ciara. I hang up my phone and stand there waiting for answers.

“I’m so glad you’re okay” she says grabbing me for a hug. “You were dropping things left and right last night, and then you passed out in the alley, and someone brought you inside, so we laid you down to sleep it off.” I could tell something was off when she wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“Ciara. Tell me the truth.”

“Eric wants you to head to the clinic for a drug test.” She met my eyes.

“Are you kidding me?! I don’t do drugs. I’ve smoked pot like maybe 4 times in my entire life, but never actual drugs.” I’m floored.

“He doesn’t think you do drugs. The cameras quit working shortly after our shift. With the clumsiness and passing out, he just wants to cover all bases. He tries to run a tight ship here, and if we can figure out if you were drugged, and what with, maybe he can get some leads…” she trailed off.

“You think I was roofied?”

“I mean it could explain the memory loss.”

“Which clinic?”

“I will drive you there. We will get some McDonald’s breakfast on the way.”

We pull in a parking lot on the east side of town. I’ve never noticed this place before, but I normally don’t venture too far from work or home. We walk in and Ciara hands paperwork to the front desk as I take a seat. Not shortly after I’m called back into the examination room.

“Emma is it?” I glance at the doctor walking into the room, closing the door behind him.

“I thought I was just here for a piss test.” I’m not in the mood for pleasantries.

He chuckles. “I’m Dr. Logan Smith. Paperwork here says you were out of character last night, and your employer requested a drug test. Yes, you will be led to the restroom in just a bit, we are going to need to draw some blood for a more extensive panel.”

His eyes are kind. Blue with gold flecks. I find myself calming down. His blond hair is expertly styled in the ‘I didn’t try to look like this’ way.

“How long until we can get the results?”

“Is there anything that is worrying you?” When I don’t respond immediately, he speaks again. “Doctor patient confidentiality. You can openly speak with me.”

“I… I don’t remember last night. I don’t remember leaving for work, I don’t remember working, I don’t remember 16 hours of my life. I’m scared. Can we do a more thorough examination?” I cast my gaze my down to the floor.

“If it will put you at ease, I can grab a nurse and we can perform a full body exam.” His eyes are kind. I see the sympathy, and it eats at me.

“Please” I choke out. He nods his head and leaves for a few minutes.

After the blood is drawn, the urine sample collected, and the exam performed, I sit fully clothed again waiting for him to return. Lost in thought, the knock on the door startles me.

“Emma, I don’t know exactly what you are going through, but all preliminary tests show there was no s****l trauma. There are some bruises and scrapes on your back, but the report reads you were found leaning against the brick wall. That seems to be consistent with that.” I felt the tears falling. I didn’t know how big of a relief that would be.

“Thank you” I whisper. He places his hand on my shoulder.

“I can connect you with a therapist, sometimes talking can help heal.”

“How can you heal what you can’t remember?” I look at his face, my vision blurry.

“I can prescribe some Ativan, just a small dose for the next few days, to help with any anxieties you may be experiencing.”

“No, I’ve been on Ativan before and I’d rather be anxious than whatever it is that Ativan makes you feel.” He nods, approval written across his features.

“I am suggesting you take a multivitamin. Your tests show you are slightly anemic, so make sure to take one that has iron listed.” He finishes as he hands me my discharge papers.

I head out and meet Ciara back in the lobby. She nods at the doctor and I follow her out to her car.

“Do you know him?” I ask curiously.

“Yes, I do in fact. We kind of run in the same circle.” She’s being vague again, but I don’t press. Her personal life isn’t any of my business. Right now, all I want is a shower, read a book, and escape my head a little.

“You walked outside after you broke another beer bottle. It seemed as though you had butter fingers, or you were preoccupied with something else. I followed you and you were smoking a cigarette; we exchanged a few words. You said you just needed a minute, and I told you I was here to talk any time about anything. I went back in to work, and then shortly after someone is carrying you into the patio area.” She states quickly. I can barely keep up. “I didn’t know the guy. He said his name was Flynn. You said you don’t remember anything, but I guess I don’t if maybe that would trigger your mind?”

“It doesn’t. I’m sorry I really don’t remember anything. The last thing I do remember is putting my new book down on the end table, and then it’s like someone erased my brain.” Ciara gripped the steering wheel tighter at my choice of words. “Look, it happened to me, not you. I’m fine. I really am. Doctor said everything checked out, and I wasn’t penetrated, and the drug test results will be back in a week or so.”

“Emma, you don’t get it. There’s never been anything like that to happen at Blue Moon before. Eric is in a frenzy trying to piece together what happened, and the fact the cameras weren’t working is just making everyone worry a little more. You are our family now.” She states simply.

“Family?” I feel a ping of guilt. They think of me as family and I lied about my name.

“We take care of our own, and you are stuck with us now.”

“I’m just the new girl… I’ve only been with you guys a few months now…”

“And we couldn’t have asked for a better little sister” she interrupts. “Look I’m going to get real for a second. When I came here years ago, I was lost. The town I was living in had a tragedy happen, and unfortunately, we all lost something. Some more than others. I lost my family. I was the oldest of 3, and now I’m the sole survivor. I moved here for a fresh start years ago. Blue Moon was supposed to be a temporary thing, until I figured out what I wanted to do. Eric took me in and gave me a chance. If it weren’t for him, I don’t know which path I would be on, and… I just owe a lot of who I am today to him. Don’t tell him though.”

“Ciara, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

“Don’t be. It’s my story, and I’m sharing it. I’m just letting you know, we all have a history, and if you want to share yours, I’d be honored to listen. But right now, let’s get you inside so you can shower the bar smell off you, and if you would like I can keep you company.”

“No, I’ve taken enough of your day, and honestly, I’m just going to curl up with my book and probably take a nap. It’s been quite a bit to take in.”

“Okay well call me if you need anything, and Eric said take the next 2 days off. He’s not punishing you, he’s worried. But he will probably give you a call later anyway to check in.”

“Thank you” I state simply as I get out of her car and head inside.

Throwing my hair in a braid, I walk from my bedroom towards the couch. I notice the book sitting on the side table. It calls to me. I grab my blanket and curl up, settling in. Picking up where I left off, I’m quickly pulled in.

1852

Three years have gone by since the fur trader has established his trading post. Instead of the occasional traveler in the area, there are more pickings. Families are arriving into the area to settle. A man married to an Indian and their seven children have recently acquired land not too far from here. The one they call Rosalie is still young, but my God is she captivating. She has lightly tanned skin, bronzed from the sun. Her dark black hair reflects the candlelight. How I wish I could come closer to her. I’ve never felt this strong of a pull towards someone. I must be patient and wait.

I hear the stories her mother tells them of the Wendingo of the area. I know she speaks of me. I was not turned by greed… well, not by my greed. I do not feast on human flesh, but rather blood. It is insatiable, and the more I fight the urge, the more destruction I cause. I will never forgive him. He did this to me. I do not wish to be associated as a monster, but as the years have shown me, they don’t take kindly to what I’ve become.

This solitary life is driving me mad. I can’t die, no matter how I try. I believe I came close, but instinct took over and I was no longer in control. That night 5 died by my hand, just to make me whole again. I hate this, but I can’t escape.

Rosalie keeps me sane. She teaches her younger siblings all her knowledge, and by the grace I swear she is the most brilliant around. I often sneak by her window in the moonlight just to hear her resting sounds.

1853

We’ve spent the last few months talking. She’s so bright and youthful. I miss the carefree attitude I once had held for granted. She’s to be wed tomorrow. She had no choice in the matter and begs me to take her away. It’s for the best I try to sooth her, but she doesn’t see it the way I do. She often asks why I can only see her at nightfall. It’s not easy to circumnavigate her curious mind. I tell her I work hard all day and night is the only time I can freely give her all my attention. I know she does not believe me, but it’s all I can give her.

She will grow old. She will bear children. She will have a life that I cannot provide for her. To keep her safe, I must let her live. My Rosalie, how I yearn to be more than I am. To give you what you deserve and dream for in this life.

1856

They call it a steamboat. Never in my life would I have imagined such advancement. They unloaded more housing frames for all the new settlers. They call this town Sioux City. Joseph proved once again he is the best provider for Rosalie with his sale of land. I’ve checked on her a time or two in the last couple of years. She is healthy and growing into such a beautiful woman. I still yearn for her, but this is what is best for her.

1857

Mary is the new schoolteacher they have brought in from Keosauqua. Her pay is $50 a month, a high salary for a woman. We have crossed paths a time or two, and she helps me forget my Rosalie. I know I have not been writing much, but there hasn’t been anything to change in my predicament. I have tried to leave and cannot last more than a week away. This place is always calling me back.

Mary helps break the monotony of this life. I know I should not have gotten close, but I am lonely. She is intuitive and questions a lot about my life, but what do I tell her?

1858

I have fed on her numerous times. She knows all my secrets, but I must free her of me. I cannot condemn her to this life. How can I give up my only company in years?

1859

It has been months since I freed her. She does not remember our times nor my name. She is leaving today. Recently wed to a man from Omaha. I have made the right choice once, and this time, it appears I’ve done so again. She will grow old and she will be happy. I find myself thinking of all the times I have had her under me writhing. I am a gentleman so I will leave those memories where they belong.

Sleep overcame me after hours of reading.