Chapter Four: A Life Imploding
1104 Words
“You have till noon tomorrow to clear all of your grandmother's bills. Else the doctor won't be able to save you this time!”
The words on that text message still floated above Helen's eyes. Sinking her heart deeper into her ribs by the second.
“Helen, Helen? Helen!” Leah jolted Helen back to reality. “What the hell? This is like the fifth time I've had to call your attention to the show. You no longer like watching ‘The Autswitchzes?’ It's been your favorite show for decades now.”
“Of course I love watching it,” Helen replied. A feeble attempt to mask her absent mindedness. “I've been following along, just pondering on some of the hidden themes of the show.”
“Hidden themes, eh?” Leah now picked up the remote from the table and turned the tele off. “And your wandering mind has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that one of your lecturers is a man you f****d just last night.”
“God, Leah. Why do you have to be so blunt about everything?”
“Because my friend is evidently headed for a cliff's edge. And that wasn't even a joke.”
Helen let her body fall into the couch, her limbs slacking. A long breath leaked out of her like air from a punctured tire. “I don't know, Leah. I'm just f*****g tired of my f****d up life.”
“Stop that. Don't say you're tired, else you might become tired, for real. Plus, come on, your life isn't as f****d up as that of the majority of people living in this city.”
“My hospital bills, school grades, and overworked body beg to differ, Leah. I'm the walking talking embodiment of disaster.”
“And yet, you've refused to talk to the person you call your closest friend about these issues.”
“What the f**k is that supposed to mean? I willingly told you toilet guy was my new lecturer, literally without you asking.”
“Yes, but you've refused to talk about how that's affecting you. Your grandma's issues too.”
Helen now eased her head back against the couch cushion, lids sliding shut. Warm streaks crept down her cheeks before she even realized they’d escaped.
“Whoa whoa whoa, girl what's the problem?” Leah said, carrying Helen's head and placing it on her shoulder.
“I don't know, Leah. It's all just so overwhelming, you know. Having to deal with all of this, even before I turn twenty five. This is not the life I dreamed of.”
“I know, girl, I know.” Leah’s hand moved in slow, rhythmic circles over Helen’s back, the kind of touch meant to hush crying without saying a word. “I'm sorry, and I believe things will turn out for the better soon. I didn't even know it was stuff like that that got your mind occupied.”
“Yeah, well, it was why I wanted to watch the show in the first place. But my anxieties triumphed through.”
“I do hope the lecturer wasn't a feature occupying your mind as well?”
“What? He's a wealthy young man, I can already tell. We live in two different worlds, and he lives in one that makes him alien to common human emotions. I am his student, and he's my lecturer. There shouldn't be a universe where he'll occupy my mind. Not with all the issues barging into my front door.”
“Right.”
“I've forgotten about him, and I've moved on. So please, I beg you, don't ever bring him up again.”
“Alright, fine. I won't. Not in the romantic sense, anyway.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“You said it yourself: he's your lecturer now, and you need those grades of yours to go up.”
“Yeah, well, not in geography anymore, I guess.”
“You're not going to give up on your dream of becoming a flight attendant in real time. Not while I'm here.”
“God, Leah.”
****
A brand new day. And brand new bills too. Helen’s smile flitted from face to face as she passed, light and practiced, like any of that would change the fact that her phone was persistently buzzing against her hip. Her fingers brushed the outline of the phone but didn’t dare fish it out, as if touching it too long might make the problem on the other end materialize in front of her.
She already knew it was the hospital. Her grandma's bills were now long overdue. And Helen knew if the head doctor wasn't such a kindhearted person, her grandma would probably have been gone by now.
“My God, doesn't Liam know that someone's life literally depends on him sending in the money he owes me? I should've known he wasn't going to pay me when he conceded so readily to giving me three hundred bucks for that ring. Maybe I should meet him and negotiate a lower price. I need that money for grandma, she can't go another day without my payment. There's only so much doctor Van Buren can endure.”
As Helen approached the entrance door to Liam's office, she walked past a window first. There were no blinds on, so she could see into the office.
Through the window, she caught sight of another lecturer leaning in toward Liam, a woman. Their laughter was low and shared. The gap between them was so small it could’ve been erased with a sigh.
She shouldn't have thought much about it. Liam was attractive, but she knew whatever happened between them a few nights ago ended there, behind those dimly lit, tiled walls.
She had enough issues on her plate already. The last thing she needed was to let Liam wedge himself between the cracks already running through her life.
But a slow heat coiled in her chest, unwelcome and impossible to ignore, as she watched them laugh like they shared some private joke.
What was this burn in her heart brewing? Why was she feeling uncomfortable seeing the two lecturers get so close to each other?
She’d promised herself that the other night was a one-time thing. A fling. A way to escape. But her heart seemed hell bent on giving it more meaning.
She turned to walk away, angered and irritated. Then he saw her. Their eyes met through the clear windows.
“Helen?” Liam said, the female lecturer still all cuddly with him.
- Writer
