THE EMPATH

CHEMISTRY(conclusion)

"Sorry I am four minutes late," I said looking at my watch. Anne slammed her locker door and held her hand over her chest, I had startled her. "Sorry," I said even though I didn't mean it. "No, no, it's okey, I am just not used to having people down here at this time," she said attempting a smile. "Your book," she said and handed it to me. "Oh! thank you, I have been looking for it everywhere, it is the reason why I didn't come right away," I had no idea how she had gotten it seeing to that I had already forgotten about that mornings episode. I looked at her as she turned back towards the locker to pick up some books. I had had a crush on this girl since the first day of school. I liked how she didn't care no matter how much the class jerks picked up on her. I loved that she was pretty but she didn't seem to care that much about it.

Tom often pushed me towards her in the hope I would talk to her but i never did. I was scared she would say no or even chose not to talk to me like she did with everyone else and so I decided to never try. However, she was always in my dreams especially in the first few months of puberty. There was no counting how many times I had kissed her in my dreams, or how many times I fantasized about being with her someplace private and quiet, someplace with flowers, green grass and birds singing and dancing about in the air. As I was staring at her, my mind took me back to that fantasy place. A place I liked to call our happy place.

There I saw us seated on the natural grass carpet with her head on my chest and my arm wrapped around her slim waist as we dipped our legs in the crystal clear water. I could tell she was smiling even though I couldn't quite see her face. The place was peaceful and beautiful, the kind of place one would like to live forever and ever. I heard her say something but I didn't understand so I was just about to ask her when I felt a smack on my chest. "...Chemistry...did you even hear a word I just said? and quit looking at me like that you...," she said with a serious face and suddenly my fantasy world was gone leaving the real me in the real world staring at her right on the chest like a fool with my mouth agape.

"Chemistry, we just had...ah I mean you were saying something about chemistry," I was trying to bring some ease to her somewhat tense world. She stood there for a while looking at me not sure what to say while I just leaned against the locker feeling ashamed. I thought she would burst out with a "Never talk to me again you perverted son of a b***h" and walk away. I had seen her do it several times to other dudes and I was pretty sure they had not stared at her chest for as long as I did. Instead, she smiled, "Look at your face...you are totally waiting for me to blow over right now and I know that shouldn't make me feel good but for some reason it does...I mean I don't mean good as in good, I mean good as...you know what, I am just going to shut up before I say something embarrassing...," there she was, just talking and talking and one would expect it would be annoying but to me it felt like a sweet melody, so I went back to staring at her and imagining her dancing with me in a huge stage meant just for the two of us.

The bell rang and it was finally time to go home but I didn't want to stop her from talking. The more she talked the more she seemed attractive and I just wanted to lean in and kiss her. Unfortunately, a crowd of excited students started storming into the room sending her back to shy quiet self and just like that, my plan was ruined. "Why don't you come to place this weekend and help me study for the chemistry practicals, I mean I am pretty sure I messed up with theory today and I am going to need a perfect pass in the second paper to boost my grade," of course I expected a very huge no and I was ready to walk away. "OK...I mean I don't see why not...I mean I also need to study and a partner might just be the extra push I need right now... I mean a study partner ...your place, this weekend to study chemistry...got it...," this time around I held her hand to calm her down as I didn't want her talking too much just in case she decided against it while she was having a one sided argument. "Cool, see you tomorrow and remember to study for english paper two," without any more words I turned and walked away without looking back as I feared if I did she would somehow rethink and turn me down.

On my way home, she was all I could think about and for the first time in six months I didn't feel alone. Don't get me wrong, I still walked all the way home alone, but that evening I felt like I had company. I could still hear endless talking in my head and every once in a while I found myself smiling. The three kilometers felt shorter and less boring. About half a kilometer from home, I saw these little groups of people standing by the road talking in low tones. Some had their arms over their mouths while others seemed to be cold or something. I could feel a very negative vibe coming from them a mixture of grief, pity and disbelief. Something big and bad must have happened. I hurried towards them and as I approached, the smell of smoke hit me. It felt exactly like it did back at school earlier. I walked much faster just to be met by more and more people standing at the gate. My curiosity got me approaching the homestead until I was standing right next to the burnt house. The place was burnt down to ashes leaving only a black and white rumble. I heard the screaming in my head and it was like I was right there while it was happening.

"...only the wife died, the twins were rescued by the fire fighters but from what I gather, the two aren't doing much better either. Ester her eldest was in school, poor thing just started her finals today," a woman was telling the story to her friends and all four had their mouths wide open from shock. "What about the phone call?" one of them asked. "Well, the fire fighters didn't explain much but they said that some old guy made it. They tried to locate its source but couldn't find a thing. I don't know who that may have been but they are the only reason why the children are still breathing," the first woman continued. "Or maybe he was the one who set the place on fire in the first place," I knew that voice, it was my mother. What was she doing down here?

"Vicky," she called as soon as she saw me. I walked towards her and the next few minutes that followed I had to stand there and listen to them talk about me as if I was not standing right there. "Let's go home now," I said with a low tone as I feared she could decide to scold me for talking to her while she was busy with her "friends". She said her goodbyes which lasted a few more minutes and then we were on our way. Between the burnt house and the last tiny group of people which was only meters away, she had stopped for like eight more times and I had waited through like half an hour. Darkness was already slowly unfolding and soon the whole land would be pitch black. "You know they are really not your friends...I mean the women you were talking with when you first noticed me?" I asked after we were a safe distance from the last group. "I know Vicky. No one is ever really a friend but we have to live with them because no one is self sufficient," she answered with a genuine smile on her face before rubbing on my hair roughly. "Are you trying to grow your hair into dreadlocks or have you just decided to ignore personal hygiene Vicky?" her voice was now serious and that was where I was supposed to trend with great care. "Mothers, one minute they are friends the next they want to bite your head off or worse throw you out," I thought to myself fearing that she could hear my thought.

"Its just...its exams week mother and I am under a lot of pressure, plus I still have those last classes with Robert and I don't want to fail either," I answered while brushing my hands through my unkept hair. She looked at me with those eyes that say "I know what you are trying to sell and I am not buying it". "I promise I will get it cut short this weekend. Also mother, my friend will be coming by this weekend to study for chemistry practicals," I added just so to get rid of the issue as soon as possible. "Does this friend have a name?" she asked waiting eagerly for the answer. "Yes, Anne," I answered trying to look calm. "Well, I don't see why this Anne shouldn't come and study with you...that is provided you do it in the living room," she said with a weakend smile on her face. "Mother, just tell me if you don't trust me," I said feeling a little misunderstood. "Ooh Vicky, I trust you...I am just messing with you. Now, tell me more about this Anne," just like that, she had thrown me off the edge as I totally forgot that I was trying to keep it cool and said everything that was on my mind.

"She is cool, and shy...soo very shy. She is the best student in the class and her grades are usually perfect. People call her a nerd in a bad way but I think it is cool to have almost all the answers to almost all the questions teachers throw at her. She is pretty and apparently once you get to know her, she never stop talking. I know she will help me study for the next paper as I have a feeling I didn't do so well today. Honestly, I can't wait for the weekends to come...," at that point I realized I had spilled the beans but my mum seemed calm and she had been smiling throughout my narration. "In that case, I also can't wait to meet her," she said and I knew she meant it and in a good way and that scared me a little. I found myself questioning her intentions and I couldn't help but ask. "Mother, you are so calm about it all, are you sure you are okey with it or are you trying the reverse psychology thingy?" I was looking at her dead in the face to see her reaction and I was surprised to see her smile even more brighter than before. "Vicky, can't a mother just be happy that her nerdy son found another friend like himself who is even ready to go to his place to help him study?" she said and suddenly wiped out the smile. Her reaction made my doubts grow even stronger and I decided to not talk about it anymore. "I know it may feel awkward that a mother is happy to hear that her son have a female friend come over, but I do Vicky, I am happy. You have been alone for six months and no teenager does that. I was beginning to think that maybe you had given up on friendships and that scared me you know," she was serious and she meant every word she said. "Why didn't you say anything mother?" I held her hand in mine as I could feel the scared vibe coming from her. "I didn't want you to feel pressured, also I knew there was nothing I could have done about it so I just decided to wait and see how things would play out. But now I am happy you have chemistry with Anne," I knew what she meant by that and I could have protested but I didn't. Maybe she deserved to get away with that one. She still had a few concerns regarding my lonely existence but I had a feeling she wasn't ready to talk it out so I just held her hand and we walked the rest of the way hand in hand.

That night, I couldn't fall asleep easily as I was thinking about Anne. Mother was right, there was some sort of very complicated chemistry between us, I could feel it, and I hoped she did too. There was one thing that bothered me though, the fact that the woman from earlier said an old guy made the 911 call. Did that mean that my guardian could actually talk through me? Was he some sort of a possessing spirit that lived inside me? I had to ask Robert, I figured he probably knew a thing or two about the guardian. However, I couldn't waste my precious thoughts on that, I had better things to think about. I went back to our happy place where Anne and I were having fun. I fell asleep thinking about her and if she was around, I could have known that she had also gone to bed thinking about me.

Everything seemed to be falling to place six months after they all fell apart and for once I felt lighter and more positive. I still missed my friends and I was still looking forward to Friday the day I visited Alice in the hospital. I hoped that she would get well someday and I couldn't wait to tell her about Anne and everything else that happened while she was in a coma. My father had told me there was a chance that that day would come but he had also asked me not to get my hopes high and I was still struggling with that. However, tonight all I wanted was to live the fantasy. Just Anne, me and our happy place where time seemed forever frozen, where grief and loss couldn't reach but most importantly, where all I felt was love and care. Little did I know that as soon as I leave the fantasy world, a burning real world would be waiting for me, and not to forget the chemistry paper.