Parallel Lines

Prologue

SEPTEMBER 2018

My fingertips were getting sweaty and cold from anxiety. I frowned as I couldn't type the text fluently. I needed to wipe my hands on my pajama again and again. My heart accelerated as I saw he had seen the last text I had sent him. The three dots began to flicker signaling he was typing and me, on the other hand, was about to faint. What he'll think of me! That me a despo wants him to read my poem.

Him: Yeah, I'd like to read it. xD

A smile curved up my lips reading the text he sent.

Me: Yay! Thanks :) But there is something I need to tell you...

I sent away the text and wait for him to reply. My text got marked seen as soon as my text was delivered. I quickly got out of his chat box and randomly scroll around just to act I'm not that excited. A notification bar appeared on the top of my phone screen which showed Auriv had replied. I clicked the bar to see,

Him: What is it?

I couldn't find the words to type. What I'll write? Okay, I want to make myself believe that I'm not some clingy b***h.

Me: You can't comment on my poem or ask anything about it. Deal?

My text was delivered and seen instantly.

Him: Deal.

I took a deep breath before pasting down the poem I wrote last night in my docs file. I re-read the whole poem again just assuring myself that I didn't look desperate with my words that sat on the verses I penciled in.

'I met with my soul's replica

'In the form of

'Words.

'He was a mess

'Messier than my world.

'There was darkness alongside

'His bright aura.

'I don't know which consumed me.

'He was something more than he appeared,

'An open book, written in

'Hebrew

'I wanted to hold him

'Cherish him

'But I knew I couldn't

'Because he would give up on me

'One day.

'And I would remain consumed by him

Forever.'

Should I send the poem? No, I have to do it. I've to free my bottled up feelings. With my shaken fingers, I tapped on the send button and lock down the screen as soon as my text was delivered. I don't want to know his reaction after reading my poem. He might even stop talking to me after this. But proving me wrong, he replied after a few moments.

Him: I met my soul's replica too.

My expectation was him praising me but no, the dickhead had to send me something that said he knew what this poem was about. Cherry on top, my adrenaline rush from anticipation was so high that I had lost my judging sense. Hence, the text he sent didn't get digested by my brain and I did the worst thing I had dreaded the whole time.

Me: what? no.

Me: This poem is about you.

Me: I like you!

A ton of invisible bricks hit me when I realized what I had sent. f**k! f**k!! f**k!!! I checked my inbox to see I had sent this cussing too! Moreover exact three times in a row. Cursing loudly, I sent the last text, this time with a clear head but embraced like I took off my clothes in the middle of the road.

Me: I'm outta here!

The vibration of notifications burst the bubble of my probabilities and the adrenal rush in my blood accelerated my heartbeat more. I sprang up from my bed not wanting to open Auriv's chat box and read the texts that might crush my self-respect for my whole life.

Why am I so overdramatic? I gulped down some water from my bottle that mom always kept on the dining table and tried to calm my nerves. What he can do to me? Calling me names or blocking me online? Or spreading rumors about me being a despo b***h, craving for his attention.

I shook my head to eliminate these scary thoughts. That's all he can do. Chill Mashafi. Chillll...

I returned back to my bed where I left my phone and unlock the screen, prepared for the worst.

Him: I knew this, i***t.

Him: But I'm not good for you. I'm not in a position, to date anyone or even feel something for someone.

Him: Hey,

Him: Hey!

My heart literally crushed reading these texts. Tears welled up in my eyes but I suppressed them to roll down. The hurt, it spread on the center of my chest, right under my sternum. I knew rejection was on it's way when I decided to pop up my hearts cork and let my emotions splash on my words. Then why did his indirect rejection hurt so bad? Why am I not loveable? I calmed down by taking deep breaths and force myself to fake a laugh.

This is nothing. There are a lot of fishes in the sea. The suppressed tears rolled down in protest against my lies. But he's the only one who makes me breathe under the water...

"Why are you upset? Are you crying?" Mom asked me making me flustered. She leaned on my door frame and folded her hands on her chest.

I wiped those stray tears and fake an embracing giggle. "Um..erm. I was reading a... tragedy."

Mom just chuckled at me before retreating to her own bedroom, saying, "Tragedies are a reality. You need to accept that sometimes you're not destined to be with someone."

I rewound what she said, again and again. I was knocked out of my thoughts when my phone vibrated in my hands. A notification of receiving a text from Auriv had floated on my lock screen. I sighed tapping on the bar that led me to his chat box.

Him: Mashafi...

It was then I realize how maturely he managed this tension between us. He could say mean words to me or directly 'no'. But he explained why he couldn't be with me. Wiping my wet cheeks, I typed down a text.

Me: As always, I overreacted. I'm sorry.

Auriv replied me instantly.

Him: Forget it. Before everything, you're my friend. You're the only one who never judged me. You're a freaking poem lover like me. I like you too.

Him: But I can't offer you anything more than friendship. I'll hurt you at the end and it will eat me alive.

Him: You'll always be my friend who does nothing but makes me feel normal.

I kept reading the text nth time before the words sunk in me. What am I suppose to reply to these texts? If you like me, Good. Did I ask you out? No. You want to be friends, Hell aren't we already? I know what I need to send.

Me: Just forget it. Lol.

Me: What are you up to?

We were indeed the other side of a coin. Because, as soon he got my text, he changed the subject.

Him: Got a piece of spicy news tho, wanna know what it is >:D

With this, we got back to our normal conversation. After that day we... I never talked about it. But one thing that we already could feel was that we were drifting away slowly, distance had jumped between us, we slept before three am, poems were becoming words only and us pretending to be busy in our own world.