The Monster Within Me

Chapter 15

Maya

As we entered the field-house I looked at the set up that I hadn't noticed before. They had added silver accents all over the place and my fear and shock before must've numbed me to the feeling because I was feeling the effects of it now. Hopefully, this feeling would help weaken me and the effect The Changing would have on me. It was on bars on the windows, on the doors and scattered across the walls and floors too. The table/bed that they would have me lie on was silver as well, with a big mattress over it and thick straps that would hold me to the table. I hoped they would keep me there too.

On a table not far from the makeshift bed was a table with three coolers sitting atop it. Even from here, I could smell the blood inside them. Lionel and Jackie were there too, they had gathered the blood and were in the process of checking things on the table over. How much stronger would the scent be when it was something that I craved?

Quinn and I made our way towards the bed and stopped in front of it. Ylva, Fen, Franky, and Malek the healer in the pack were all standing near the bed waiting for me. The enforcers were lined up around the perimeter of the room to help keep me contained and outsiders out.

"This setup is intense," I said still letting my eyes roam and take in the room, "You guys have been very busy."

"We had hoped that all we would need would be the bed and the blood, but we wanted to be as cautious as we could be for your safety," Fen said with a small, friendly smile.

"It's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it," Ylva said with a small laugh.

"We expect that it may start at any point before or after midnight. We don't know how long the transformation will take, but we assume that it will be painful for you." Malek said with a calm voice.

"The straps on attached to the bed will be tied around you and hopefully they will be enough to keep you down should you become erratic. If not, then there is a blanket that we will put over you with strands of silver woven into the fabric. Hopefully, it will weaken you enough to allow us to feed you some of the blood that has been collected. The goal is to keep your thirst under control so that you are still able to think rationally." Quinn said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"And the powers that I'm supposed to get? Did you find anything on what they might potentially be Skald Ylva?" I asked. We had been looking together during our sessions, going through as many books as possible to see if we could find anything. The last hybrid had been gifted two gifts, one from the Moon Goddess and the other from the Goddess of the Night. We had only identified that he had been given the ability to manipulate physical aspects of the environment that he was in, weather or the elements, but we could never seem to find the second one.

"You and I know the same Maya, I read through several more books these last couple days when I wasn't here helping and I found nothing more than what we had already found." She said with a disappointed shake of her head.

"Well, I hope I get the one we found and something else that's cool and helpful. I also hope I know how to use whatever they do wind up being." I said rubbing my hands together to hide their shaking.

"We can always try to find people with enough knowledge to help instruct you in what to do with whatever gifts you get," Franky said with excitement lighting his eyes. I nodded my thanks to him.

We should put ourselves into a trance to help with the pain. Hopefully, we will be able to be numb through it and then regain control before the thirst drives us to do something crazy.

That was a sound plan, I didn't want to be in pain any more than she wanted to sense it and be powerless to help me.

"Alright, strap me up. Kaia thinks it will be a good idea to meditate for as long as possible. Hopefully, the pain isn't so great that I lose my focus, but I would like to numb myself to as many of the feelings as I can." I said walking up to sit on the bed.

Everyone nodded and went to grab the last little things they would need to do their respective tasks. As I laid down, Quinn came up to stand beside the bed and held my hand.

"You're gonna be fine, so don't stress about anything okay?" He said, his face the definition of stress.

I laughed as I squeezed his hands, "Are you saying that for me or yourself?" I asked. "I'm in the safest place for myself and the pack right now. I trust the people who are here to protect the pack above all else, and I know they will. I know you will." I said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Fen came over then, showing me a really pretty, light gray blanket, "This is the blanket that we were talking about," he said placing it on the table beside me. "We're gonna strap you down now, so relax and meditate or whatever you need to do. None of us will be leaving, but we will be keeping our distance until we're able to give you some blood." He said, patting me on the shoulder in a supportive gesture and moving to sit and speak with Ylva on the bench.

"I'll be alright Quinn, I promise. When I feel like I can control myself enough for someone to come close enough to hand me the red stuff, I'll say Mercedes. I won't say it until I trust myself, so please tell them to wait." I said trying to keep my voice from wavering. My resolve was starting to fail.

"Of course, I'll let them know." He said nodding and turning to move in the direction of the bench. Before he got far, he turned around and came back to where I was still laying, watching him leave. He bent down and kissed me, stealing the air from my lungs.

"No matter what happens, you will be in control again and come back to me right?" He asked his face inches from mine. His eyes searching mine for something. It took me a second before my brain caught up with what was going on.

"I promise," I said, tears pooling in my eyes. He leaned down and kissed me again, this time softly before finally moving back towards the bench.

Lionel and Jackie came over then, smiling kindly at me while they worked the straps around my body. Individually wrapped around my ankles, with a larger band across both, with the same setup for my knees and thighs. Another one wrapped around my middle twice and then attached to the underside of the table where there was a hook, Lionel had explained, that anchored the table and me to the ground. There was wrapping around my wrists and upper arms with one more across my chest. They tightened them so that I wasn't uncomfortable, but I also wasn't going to go anywhere. We hoped.

"Thank you," I said as they finished and turned to move back towards their table. I turned my head and nodded to the bench and the people who had begun to mean so much to me in such a short amount of time and smiled at them. Everyone is in their position, now all we had to was wait. We all sat there in a weighted silence for what seemed like forever, and then in the depths of my core, I felt a dull throbbing begin.

I decided that now would be an excellent time to start meditating, so I did. Slipping into a trance and sharing my pain with Kaia so that I didn't become overwhelmed too quickly and lose my focus. As the throbbing persisted, it grew from my core and radiated outwards towards my extremities until I felt like it was blanketed all over me. It stayed manageable a slight discomfort for a while before it began increasing.

I slipped deeper into my trance, immersing my thoughts and focus away from the pain my body was experiencing. I was aware of the growing intensity of the pain, but in my trance-like state, I could not connect to the pain that I should be feeling because of it. My body was having a physical reaction to the pain as I could feel myself start to sweat and tremble slightly, but the pain felt like a distant memory.

We are not even halfway through, but we are doing really well. If you must, you may siphon some of my strength to ease some of the pain slightly. Keep in mind that if you more than what you need to dull your discomfort, you may put the others in danger so be careful.

I would keep that in mind for when the pain was intense enough to break through my trance or made me forget to share the burden with Kaia, for right now I could manage. I had trouble figuring out how long I had been lying here like this, I have no grasp of time in my trance. I was deciding whether it was minutes or hours when the minor discomfort that I had been managing pretty well grew to a level that I thought would kill me and the screaming began.

I don't know how long I spent screaming and crying. My body felt like my skin was melting off while simultaneously feeling like it was being dipped in liquid nitrogen. I was hoping that eventually, I would pass out from the intensity of everything that I was feeling to no avail. My trance was broken and I was able to share half the pain with Kaia for the time being, but I was afraid that it wouldn't last much longer. This pain was going to kill me and I was only feeling half of it.

"Please help me!" I was screaming over and over, thrashing at my restraints trying to hold where it hurt. An especially strong wave of pain rolled through me and the grip I had been holding onto to keep me focused enough to stay connected to Kaia failed and I felt everything, It felt like my body was being kicked down a hill full of rocks and uneven ground and being kicked by a group of angry people.

"Make it stop! Please just make it stop!" I was screaming over and over again. I couldn't see anything, and now I didn't know if I was because my eyes were still closed or if it was because the pain wouldn't allow me to focus on any one thing.

Then, like the tide, my pain seemed to roll out and away from me. I laid there, spent and panting, trying to get my bearings for a few moments and just when I started feeling like my heart rate was returning to a normal level, the most intense pain yet rolled through me from my feet up to my head and stayed there. My head was going to explode, that was the only explanation that I could make stick. My mouth hurt too like someone had kicked me in the face and had broken my jaw or something. The pain kept intensifying, growing and growing until I had no voice left to scream in agony. Just when I thought my heart would surely cease functioning from the work it had been put through, a targeted pain shot through my mouth as something pierced my bottom lip. After that, I thankfully and finally passed out.

I don't know how long I was out for, but when I woke I was still strapped to the table, but everything around me felt and seemed different. My sight returned first, and the lights in the room and what they illuminated were in such sharp focus I felt like I could see the particles that everything contained to keep them together. Next was my hearing, and I could hear not only the heartbeats of every single person in the room, but I could also hear the blood rushing through the veins of anyone person I focused on.

My other senses returned too, but when my sense of smell returned, that was when I knew that The Changing was completed. Every single person in the room smelled delicious. All with a variety of scents to offer up to me, almost like flavors and I wanted nothing more than to try each and every one of them.

I tried to sit up, then was immediately reminded that I was strapped to the table when the restraints didn't allow for much movement. When my attention drifted to the table not far from me I saw the bags of blood and my mind couldn't focus on anything other than draining them. I started thrashing with more vigor and some of the restraints loosened ever so slightly. Just as I was about to yank on them with all the strength I had left, something was wrapped around me. Every ounce of my strength was sapped from me. The blanket woven with silver was wrapped around me from my shoulders down. The silver was affecting me as it had never done before, it felt like it was leeching the strength right out of my body.

I saw movement out of my peripheral and turned to see what it was. I saw Quinn standing there, a bag of blood in his hands moving towards me. With the blood moving closer to me, I felt like I lost control of my sanity. My throat felt like the Sahara desert, I was so incredibly thirsty that the only thing that I could focus on was ways in which to quench this unbearable thirst. Whether it be by the blood bags covering the large table or the fresh sources that I could not only smell but hear as well.

Quinn stepped forward again cautiously and I hissed at him. The hissing was new. Before I could delve too deep into my thought of that he was right beside me. Blood bag slightly extended towards me and his fresh blood coursing through his veins. The bed that I was laying on tilted slightly, so that I was more erect and Quinn brought the bag to my mouth, holding it in such a way that although he was close to me, I couldn't reach his hands with my mouth even if I tried to. Which I did.

"You need to drink to take the edge off or you won't be able to think properly, but if you keep trying to bite me and won't let anyone feed you without trying to bite them, we'll use a funnel and restrain your head to feed you." He said his voice nothing but serious. In the end, my hunger won out and I was able to drink without incident.

I had drunk through all the bags on the table before I had started to feel slightly more in control of myself. Lionel and Jackie had gone through the side door to the offices to go to the fridges to get more blood, so I sat or more accurately laid down, still in my restraints, waiting for them to come back. I still felt like a stranger in my own mind, like I was experiencing everything from the bottom of a pool.

I could see Fen, Ylva and Quinn were all standing around and talking to each other. If I was able to focus properly, I could probably make out what was being said, but all I could focus on was the sound of their heartbeats and the scent of their blood coming through their skin. I was trying to focus enough so that I could ask when Lionel and Jackie would be back with more blood (instead of wheezing when I attempted to speak) when it happened.

Quinn had been playfully flipping and catching the scissors that had been used to cut open the bags of blood when, in my attempt to speak, I squeaked pretty loud. The noise startled Quinn and the scissors cut his hand. Immediately the smell of the fresh blood hit me and I was frozen in place with the strength of the compulsion to drink the blood from the source. I lost every ounce of control I had just spent the last several minutes trying to regain.

Everyone in the room stood frozen, staring at the blood beginning to pool in his palm before they all turned to look at me. Just like that, all hell broke loose. With a quick shake, the blanket woven with silver was thrown from my person and I had yanked hard enough on the restraints on my wrists to snap the right one completely and loosen the left. With my hand free, I was able to quickly yank and break the restraints around my body and start working on those around my legs.

Just as I made it to my ankles, I was yanked back down onto the table and restrained again, this time with hands. Ylva, Fen, and Franky were holding me to the table while Malek was trying to reattach the restraints around my body. Quinn was across the room with Lionel who was dressing the wound away from the current commotion, but after smelling the blood, knowing it was so close and within my grasp to taste, I was doing everything in my power to get it.

Without preamble, I automatically used mine and Kaia's combined strength to break out the hold that I was in and destroy the restraints around my ankles. I jumped onto the table and hissed at those who tried to get close enough to me to grab me again. Two of the enforcers had left their posts to try and help with the current situation.

As they ran and approached the table, I leaped off of it and landed halfway to where Quinn was standing. I had just taken a step when a loud bang went off and something pierced my thigh. Ignoring the pain I ran towards Quinn, making it to him and Lionel before they knew I had approached. I grabbed Lionel by the back of his shirt and threw him away from Quinn. He had his hand behind his back, trying to hide the blood from me, but I could smell it and my mouth was watering.

"Come on Maya. This isn't you. You need to fight to control the bloodlust." He said, uninjured hand slightly raised in front of him in defense while he backed away slowly. The whole fieldhouse had gone quiet, everyone waiting with bated breath.

"Maya, you promised you'd come back to m-" I cut him off. Tackling him to the ground and wrestling him to get him restrained enough that I could enjoy a fresh drink. I felt in my heart and knew that this was wrong, but it was like my body and instincts were on autopilot and I had no control.