What About My Forever?

Chapter 5 Talking About It

Louise's POV

We drove for a little while as I stared out the window with the girls gabbing back and forth about what we would be doing tonight. I just stare out at the receding pinks and oranges as they shift into the dark blues and purples that look as if they cover the sky completely. With the cool breeze passing by my face, gently touching the little bits of exposed skin, I can finally feel at ease from this long, hot day.

The girls laugh as they talk and make me smile from how contagious their smiles seem to be, but I'm still not listening. I keep finding my gaze tearing from the breathtaking scenery just to glance down at the stack of papers in my hands. I'm terrified of what's to come because it's so unknown, but like they said, and I thought, this could be something great for my future.. Maybe even allow me to meet someone new while unfolding what my life could be if dedicating myself to this job.

I get lost in my head before I feel a smack on my arm as I hear Mary spat playfully. "You better not forget about us.. and as my best friend, you had better introduce us or at least me to all of your new military friends.. I like a man in uniform." she playfully states this between giggles as I send her a smirk and nod before I feel myself blushing at that thought. I honestly never thought about that, which gets my mind wondering about all the possibilities of what the work environment will be like.

This factory was filled with women and that is all I have ever known about a work environment. I can't imagine that I would know how to react to men working alongside me, but I will stay open-minded about it all, taking in what information I can to help me out in this new point of my life. This will be astonishing, to say the least. "I will do my best to help everyone out if I can, but we have no idea who I might be working with. It may be another geezer.. Unless that idea interests you." I retorted as they chuckled at my playfulness before groaning out as some of them pinched their noses, acting as if that idea stinks to them.

We laughed in unison before feeling the car slowing down. After a couple more bumps, I notice we are on the curb right in front of my house. I naturally smiled at them as I stated, "Thanks for the ride. I will see ya soon!" They smiled and waved as I opened the car door and headed towards the house to take care of my mother, the only way I know how. I know I am not the best caretaker by any means, but all that matters to me is that my mother is taken care of in these hard times, especially since she can't do any of this for herself anymore.

It's what I want, and I know for a fact that is what our father would have wanted from us as well for his wife. He asked us to watch over our mother the day he and my brother left to go fight for our freedom against the people fighting to take it away. So his request and their dedication is something that will never be forgotten, at least not by me. But I cannot speak for my sister. My sister is a whole other situation.

We used to be so close when we were younger, and then I'm not sure what happened in high school to change her, but something inside changed and she has never been the same. Everyone changes and grows with relationships that occur in their lives, whether they are good or bad. Relationships can do that for you. But I will never know what happened to make her turn into this person that I never thought that she would be. I wasn't there, and she won't ever tell me because she doesn't think she has changed at all. She can deny it all she wants, but the big difference happened when the men went off to war.

I watched her at arm's length as she slowly bowled downhill, not caring where she went to or who she developed into, until I stopped recognizing her altogether. She stopped going steady with her long-term boyfriend because he had been drafted, and she wanted nothing to do with that idea, and even stopped talking with her friends she had since toddlers, almost dropped out of school if it wasn't for my mother and I convincing her to stay for the last little bit since she was almost done.

Then, for whatever reason, she turned to a group of people we shouldn't associate with even on our darkest of days. They are involved in crime and I suspect drugs, preaching the ways of living a peaceful life as they reek havoc all around on the innocent people in their destructive paths. It was to the point that no matter what bad things happened around our little town, it was figured out pretty quickly that this group of hoodlums were involved. And now my sister is guilty by association. That is if she is not partaking herself.

It's like she has stopped caring altogether, about not just herself but us as well. Sadly I wouldn't even associate with her if she wasn't my sister and I didn't keep loving her, despite what horrible things she has said and done to me in the past.. But no matter what, she is my sister and as much as I hate myself sometimes, I still love her. I just wish something would change for her to succeed in receiving the happiness that I know she deserves.

Whether this success is with me around or not, she deserves it all the same. I just think she needs to take a good look at her life and within this long intent look, get her priorities straight. Sometimes people need something big to help them do just that. I just hope it doesn't come to that and that at that moment she figures out how much we love her and that all we want is the best for her. I just want my sister back, the one I used to hang out with for hours on end, the one who used to stay up all night talking with me about her feelings, the one who wouldn't do anything without me.

I know that is asking for a lot when we have drifted so far apart. Hence, why I have been doing what I can to build that trust and relationship back, no matter how hard she pushes back. I hypothesize that seeing and spending time with other people (my working and productive friends) and myself while relaxing, could be so great for her and me to get closer, along with getting her away from the negative friends she is currently surrounding herself with causing her to spiral every time she gets stressed.

It's not just myself that sees her spiraling, my friends see it too, and they like her, so it's hard for any of us to watch that happen. So since all of us enjoyed her company and can see that she is troubled and needs positivity in her life, my friends have initiated to invite her to come with us to dance and even work, since we need all the help that we can get to hopefully help turn things around.

As I approached the house, I noticed my sister walking past the window in our front room and towards the kitchen as I approach the front door, showing me she is at least not getting into any trouble tonight. I feel my heart pounding in my chest as I grip the papers tighter, hoping I don't wrinkle them too much because this is something I need for this next step. My anxiousness is taking the breath from my lungs causing me to get nervous but still have a strut in my step even though every inch of me is feeling exhausted from my long work week.

But even while being exhausted, I don't think anything could bring me down from that pick me up of friends and a 'promotion' if that's what we want to call it. I don't know how my family will feel about it, but I know how I'm feeling, and I guess that's what matters most. I love the feeling of being appreciated for what I can do and bring to the table, just knowing that was noticed for once is a high in my system I never expected to receive, let alone love.

I slowly open the door and close it behind me, automatically hearing arguing in the kitchen, which always puts me on edge even when I don't know what it is about. I head that way, wanting to ease the tension that is thick in this house already. I feel my body tensing automatically when hearing my sister's shrill voice singing through the room. She is nagging my mother about something else that we have no control over. Ugh, it's exhausting to hear her rants that somehow feel like they are pinpointed on us, making us feel as if we are not doing enough, even though we have nothing to do with it and are doing what we can here.

"So now I hear they are sending more people out to help the men that they already doomed to death out there.. Can you believe that?!" she yells at my mother as she just mumbles something in response, making my sister mad as she starts pacing around the kitchen looking as if she wants to punch something. I let out the deep breath I was holding in as I look in my sister's direction while she continues to pace around the room. I put my papers down on the table before walking straight up to her, placing my hands up to stop her pacing then instantly started to rub them over her arms to try to help calm her.

"May.. You need to try to calm down. You're not only stressing yourself out, but our mother as well, and you know just as much as I do that she needs to relax." I state giving her a hug that she doesn't reciprocate, as I let her go then walking away from her to my mother. I lean down giving her a soft kiss on the cheek as she smiles up at me from her wheelchair. She touches my cheek gently as she gives me a silent hello. I leave, walking straight to the fridge grabbing the meat I was marinating all day to cook for my mother.

"I don't need to calm down, these are serious issues happening right now, in front of our eyes, and yet we sit here doing nothing to help the men fighting for us!" She yells in protest as I watched her begin to pace once again. "May.. That is nothing we can control and you know that. We are doing what we can here.. Now calm down," I state in a strained tone, showing how she is pushing my buttons already and that she needs to stop before this gets worse than it needs to be.

She huffs out, rolling her eyes at me with a look on her face that says she doesn't believe me. "You know what you need to be doing? You need to be home on time and get some dinner going for us just, so I'm not incredibly hungry since I haven't eaten all day.. Ugh where have you been?" She spats at me as I rolled my eyes and looked over at my mother, who is giving me a sympathetic look. "May stop it.. It's not your sister's fault that you haven't eaten all day when you could have had something but chose not to make it." My mother declares in my defense as my sister huffs out, crossing her arms over her chest, not having much to say about that.

I glanced over at my mother, giving her a silent thank you, as I continued to chop up the meat. "Hey Lou, we missed you today.. I hope you had a good day.. As May had stated, we noticed you were later than normal. Is everything alright, my dear?" She sweetly asks as I nod, pointing at the papers in front of her on the table. I feel the excitement hitting my features once again, thinking about what that pile of papers mean for me. She looks confused about my actions towards these papers and looks up at me for clarification, since she won't be reading through all of them anytime soon.

"I was kind of promoted, I guess you could say." I reply as she quickly retorts. "Explain." This sounds more of a demand as I start heating up the skillet while finishing chopping up the meat. "My supervisor called me into the office today after my shift had ended and told me that he thinks I'm a very hard worker who is reliable and deserves a new position that opened up on the base that is outside of town." I state as she curiously turns the pages towards her, glancing at the words upon it, reading it to herself.