What About My Forever?

Chapter 7 Cuttin' The Rug

Louise's POV

Reminiscing about these last few years and how much I have really loved the drive back and forth to the factory with the girls.. We would have so much fun joking around and talking the entire way back an forth.. They made the daily working life worth it. I smile looking around as I watch my friends glow with happiness as they laugh and joke around, actually getting my sister to smile and laugh with them as well, which is a very pleasant surprise.

"Come on May, when are you going to start working with us.. Especially now that your sister is working her way into better things.. We will need a new person to help fill in this spot of the car." Margaret states this as I glance to the back seat making eye contact with May as she shyly smiles looking as if she is actually considering it, especially with the girls elbowing her playfully. So I jump on that band wagon trying to pressure her into it.

"Yeah come on May.. They will need someone in my station.. And I think you would be good at it! No experience needed." I declared as they all smiled at one another waiting for her answer. "I... I don't know." she says nervously as Mary chimes in. "Come on girl.. It'll be swell.. Just think about it! No more depending on anyone else to get money for you. It's all yours to do what you want with it and no one can say a thing about it."

I keep nodding at her as she smiles big, feeling good in this fun moment as she nervously nods her head. This gets my friends and I are cheering loudly as she blushes and waves off our cheers. "I'm holding you to it girl.. I will be at your house on Monday morning to pick you up, so you better be ready and if you're not then I am coming in to dress you myself!" She says this as almost a demand from her, but May still nervously nods her head, making me smile and clap.

This is the first time she has agreed to this, and I know that Mary will make her go whether she wants to or not, because she knows how flakey she can be at times and she also knows how much she needs a type of stability like this. But either way, this is a step in the right direction for her. She keeps looking over at me, I think to make sure that is ok with me as I give her a thumbs up, being legitimately excited for her, especially since this is exactly what I have been trying to get her to do.

"Ok see you Monday then." she agrees loudly, getting the girls to cheer again, creating an even bigger smile on her face for the situation. We come to a stop in front of the regular hang out spot that we can dance and drink the night away, which is all that we want at the moment. We hop out, quicker than I ever imagined for us as we practically run towards the front doors. They burst open as we see some gentlemen leaving as they hold the doors for us to enter.

"Thank you!" We say in unison, sounding like a song with all of us in sync with one another, as if we have practiced this a million times. This gets us laughing as we keep walking in and heading straight for the bar, grabbing some drinks before we walk over to the wall of the building. We lean against the wall checking out what men are around as we drink our drinks. Smiles are sent our way as our eyes bounce around all the faces with us just people watching.

Most are dancing, swinging their hips as their feet kick making me want to get out there and dance right away... The only thing missing is a partner to make this night so much better. I see Margaret waving at men who are across the room. They wink as they smile over at us. Eloise and Margaret walk out to the middle of the dance floor, and I follow right behind seeing the other two following me. We start dancing in the middle of the floor, having fun but also making sure that we are noticed by the young and eligible men.

The men look anxious, as if they want to join us, but can't get themselves to, so I turn around walking over towards them. They look nervous as I smile and wave for them to join us. The men join instantly, until we get to my friends. "Alright sailers.. This is Margaret, Eloise, Mary, May and I am Louise.. What's your names?" I ask as they smile back and forth to one another before the one standing right next to me answers.

"This is Richard, Donald and I am David." This gets me smiling as I glance back at the girls. They look just as excited as I feel. "Ok David then would you like to dance with me?" I ask him with the utmost confidence within myself. "Actually, if it's all the same to you ma'am.. I was hoping to ask this lovely creature to cut the rug. How 'bout it sugar?" he asks Eloise as she squeaks out in excitement before nodding her head frantically.

"Ok that's fine.. How about you Donald?" I ask him as he clears his throat, looking nervous before saying. "I don't want to offend, but ya friend Margaret has my eye." He says as she giggles before grabbing his hand and pulling him away from us. "Ok I guess this is fine and Dandy.. How about you Richard.. Unless you got your eyes on someone else?" I ask him almost reluctantly just worried he will turn me down as well.

"Yeah, we can dance, bunny," he declares before taking my hand as we start to Charleston across the floor, creating a smile on our faces that I don't think anyone could take away, even if they tried. We evolve this dance into a swing, that gets us really dancing in unison together. Richard seems fun and exciting as I watch his Navy hat bounce atop his head with each move that he makes. His uniform fits him pretty well, with the dark blue sticking out so well against his tan skin. I watch as he smiles over at me while we dance with one another until I watch his eyes bouncing from mine to something behind me.

After many times of this happening I glance back to see that he is staring at Mary or my sister, whom are leaning against the wall behind us. Once the song ends, he smiles over at me before I lead him behind me to the girls against the wall. I see his eyes light up when we get closer to Mary. "Mary, I think he wants to dance with ya." I say as the man's face drops in embarrassment. "What? Um.. I.. Uh." He stutters out as I play the irritation off.

"It's ok.. She is a catch for sure.. Mary.. This is Richard and he is good at swing dancing, so have at it." I declare as she smiles at me before she puts her hand out from behind her back, and he willingly takes it before pulling her out to the floor. I am trying incredibly hard, with every inch of me, not to be irritated with the situation because this happens quite often to me, more than you would ever think.

So you would also imagine that I would be used to it at this point. But man, every time this happens, it seems to feel like salt that has been aggressively rubbed into the open wound of my heart by never getting picked. I feel like I am such a catch, but I can't blame any of the men, because my friends are great catches as well. So I get why they are interested in them. I just get tired of being alone all the time and never being the number one to a man. Always picked last.

Why not first for just one man? Is that just something too incredibly hard to ask of the universe? To bring me a man that might be willing to put me first? Don't get me wrong, I have had my fair share of men come into my life. I have had fun with some of these men here and there and even had some boyfriends, but none of them have lasted long, as they quickly moved on to other women that I unknowingly introduced them to.

Never seeing the direction those particular interactions would take since they left me for what they imagined was better than me. I have somehow turned into the stepping stone for men to find their better halves. That is after breaking my heart in the process. Then on the other side of things, there are my friends that find their better halves by just being around me, not doing anything else. It's as if I live in some type of illuminating bubble that keeps men at arms length from me as I illuminate the surrounding women, making them more attractive to anyone around, but it doesn't work for bringing anyone to me.

I, of course, have kept my eyes open, but with the small number of men around at this point in time, none of them apparently want me. It seems to be hard to have the motivation to even try anymore. I just wish I knew why it wasn't happening. Is it something I am doing? Is it the way I look? Is it because I am working in the men's jobs? Is it because I put my mother first before most? I just wish I knew what it was that men didn't find attractive in me. Mostly so I could try to move on and find someone who would want me.

You know what? Maybe it's not me, and it's just them and what they prefer, and I am not it. Maybe I don't fit into the little bubble of what they want as their future wife. I don't know. I just wish I could have someone like all the people around me do. Every time we go out and try to talk with military men, I get skipped over. Then someone in my friend group will find someone perfect for them right after that.

It has even happened with complete strangers when I was flirting with this young chap tending bar until this pretty young thing walked up and asked me what I was drinking we joked and talked until I helped her order with the bartend and now she is here every week spending the nights hanging out with him. It's always a shock and hurts for a moment, then I try to distract myself with dancing and my other friends that are not distracted by men, since that's easy in this town so small that everyone knows everybody.

I don't know if my friends can tell that I am hurt or not. But I try to put a mask on to continue to have a fun night. But that is much harder to do tonight, especially since I have never had it like this, where almost all of them find someone going through me while I am left almost all by myself. So that was shocking especially on a night that was put together to celebrate me. Maybe that's why this hurts so much tonight.

I just don't understand how I always, somehow, end up with nothing. It's the years of pent-up frustration and endless rejection that makes me think that I might be alone forever. I lean against the wall in frustration, with my jaw clenched tightly as I watch my friends dance around the floor with the men that look at them as if they are the most beautiful women around. Who could object to that? My friends are beautiful inside and out.