What About My Forever?

Chapter 9 Rain Storm Emotions

Louise's POV

I am shocked by this with my mouth agape at that sight, but just happy someone did it even if it wasn't me. He pushes my mouth shut as he spats at the men who were standing behind Steven, "Clean this mess up and if I hear of any of ya scoundrels coming near these ladies you will have to deal with me.. Be sure to remember that." They nod as they pull Steven across the floor and out of the building. Which was all I ever wanted. It sucked that it had to come to violence to get that. But with a man like Steven, sometimes that all you can talk with is violence.

"Thank you for that." I say softly to him as I feel his hand loosening his grip on my hand before bringing it up to his lips. He gently kisses the back of it before giving me a short bow of sorts. "I would never let a woman be disrespected like that, especially a woman as stunning as yourself." I feel my face heating up at that comment as I shyly smile over at him. "Thanks.. My name is Louise.. And yours?" I ask him without hesitation.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Raymond." He says as I smile bigger. "Would you maybe like to dance?" he asks as I instantly nod my head, causing his smile to grow bigger. "Let me just drop this off to my sister, she is expecting a drink from me." I explain as he nods his head before following me over to the table that my sister is still occupying. She sadly looks up at me as I hand her the drink.

She wipes away some silent tears, not even noticing anything that has happened behind her. Which is probably good. "Now what is the problem here?" Raymond asks as he takes a seat beside my sister. "A man broke my heart.. The same old disappointing tale.. I'm sure you have heard many like it." My sister exclaims as I see the sadness fill his eyes as if he has seen the saddest sight in his life. "Who would do that to a goddess such as yourself? That man is the dumbest man in the universe. If you would like, I can make him regret ever hurting someone as precious as yourself." he declares so delicately.

This comment is instantly making her feel better by the big smile and sparkle in her eyes. I clear my throat, feeling a jealousy over his attention towards her when he seemed as if he was interested in me. "Um, Raymond.. It was that guy you just punched that hurt her." He doesn't even give me a second glance before shrugging his shoulder just to reach over and grab my sister's hands into his gentle ones.

"Oh well didn't that work out perfectly? I took care of him for you without even knowing it." he declares with excitement, causing her smile to grow even bigger. I didn't think that was possible. "Wow wasn't that lucky for me.. Thank you." She says before biting her bottom lip as he stares deep into her eyes. "Lucky for you? No, I'm sure I'm the one that got lucky in this situation," he says as she shakes her head, playfully denying his words.

Before she can say anything to deny outloud I declare. "I'm pretty sure we can all agree that the lucky one was Steven for only receiving one punch by Raymond here because I wanted to give him way more than that." I state as they both laugh but don't look away from one another. "I know that you have probably had a bad night, but would you allow me to make it better for you?" Raymond asks my sister as I feel my heart sinking into me, since I am pretty sure that I see where this is going.. Once again.

I swallow the lump in my throat as I watch my sister looking up at me as I put on a fake smile before nodding with approval. Her smile is face splitting as she vigorously nods before standing with him as they quickly make their way to the dance floor for the slow song that brings them close and into a sensual hold. Here we go again, the same old story for me. No one wants me but wants everyone around me.

I wanted my sister to find someone, but I never expected it this quickly. I don't feel good enough at all.. He gave me false hope that something could come from this action and for some idiotic reason, I believed it. I shake my head as I abruptly stood up before taking the drink that I got my sister into my hand. I tip the cup back, chugging the sweet drink without hesitation, before slamming the cup to the table seeing everyone I came with attached to someone else.

I am happy for them, I truly am, because they all deserve happiness. But the question of the century is, where the heck is my happiness? I am so disappointed with tonight, the night of celebration that was meant for me. So disappointed that I don't want to stay in this building any longer. I just want to go home and get away from this place for now. Mary looked over at me smiling widely as she pointed at the man in her hold.

I send her a fake smile before pointing at myself, then the exit, letting her know what I plan on doing, then waving as she blows me a kiss while still nodding. I turned around and walked away from this place that is bringing me more anger than I ever expected when getting into the car with my friends tonight. I huff out with sadness and frustration filling me up completely, not knowing what to do to fix this issue. I don't know how any of this could get any worse for me.

This thought emerged with my saddened feelings and, like clockwork, so does the rain. It's like it was summoned by my negative thoughts to make the moment even sadder than it was already feeling to me. The sudden rain is surprising, I don't know when it started, since there seemed to be pretty clear skies when we got here, but it's pouring rain, just drenching me and everything else around completely.

The pounding of the rain, when I have nowhere to go to cover me, is frustrating. There are only two options for me right now, to either trek on towards my house as I had just started in this drenching weather.. Or go back into that place that has successfully infuriated me to the point of tears and anguish, just to dry and maybe make my friends feel bad when that is the last thing I want since they have met some great guys. So I guess that is my answer right there.

Turning away from the building, I start walking. Huffing out to myself as I wipe away the rain drops from my face. I don't know if I should be happy about this rain or not, because it seems to be breaking down the mental wall of my sanity with every drip to my body, which could be considered as a good thing, no matter how overwhelming it is to me at the moment. I am not sure when it happened between all the emotions overwhelming my system, but it is noticeable that I am now crying.

I wipe away the tears from my eyes since I can't see much at all within this moment, but that hasn't stopped me leaving this place either. I don't want my friends to see me like this so I need to get out of here. I stumbled while doing this, tripping on what I can't see, so I held onto the walls of the brick building I am passing to keep me up, but I don't want to stop, I just want to go home where I can cry in peace.

I'm miserable, and nothing can make me feel better at this point. I just wish I would be taken out of my misery because I don't think I could handle my heart being hurt anymore. This has been years upon years of this feeling building up, so I am done being rejected and hurt by all of this. I am lonely and wish for something to make my heart feel whole and yet nothing or no one will give me the chance.

Wiping my eyes to clear my sights just for a second, since I know that it won't last. I look out to cross the street, knowing I need to walk over there to head towards home, but as I take a step forward I am splashed with a title wave of muddy water, covering me from head to toe. Yelping out in shock, I stumble back until I have the chance to wipe away the muddy water from my face, just to see that the culprits to part of my stresses and misery, are the same ones adding a topping of mud to it.

It's Steven and his buddies laughing as they hang out the window making sure I knew it was them. I groan out and walk across the street, just to get me to an area that is not that populated, so hopefully I won't have to worry about that again. This exhaustion that is escalating my emotions, plus the excessive amount of alcohol and the long day on top of it, is starting to make my body feel as if it will collapse at any moment.

I fight those weaknesses hitting me, just trying to stay strong. But why? I don't know why I should keep trying so hard when I have nothing to try hard for. Well, I guess except for my new job.. And my mom. I nod to myself realizing that even though I have been hurt by that type of rejection many times tonight, whittling my self-confidence down to rubble after so many years of this same rejection, that I do have to realize that I helped my friends find someone to help them smile, even if it was only for tonight.

Their big genuine smiles should be enough to help ease my heart and mind.. But as the pain radiates within me, pulsating through my veins, I can't help but to feel like somehow it is not. I want it to be enough, I really do, but the natural thoughts of wanting something for myself won't seem to go away. I just don't understand how much rejection I am supposed to endure for the happiness of my friends and family.. When does it become too much for the heart?

I have had years of this heavy pain put on me, dragging my confidence through the mud, and each time this occurs, I try to be the bigger person, to get back up and do what I can to feel good about myself, just to get knocked down again and again, as if my strength and perseverance in these hard times means nothing. When does it start to mean something to anyone else, other than myself?

I huff out at these painful thoughts as I feel the waterfalls of tears falling from my eyes without a second to lose, fading into the drops of the rain that have been cascading down my cheeks ever so effortlessly. The rain is hiding my sadness and heartbreak for me, so I don't have to. Which is nice for me, so no one could tell that I was crying. Well, that was if there was someone here.. But no one is, so I guess it doesn't matter.