The Replaced Luna

Guilt Over Love

Solaine

Tears streamed down my face as I wept through the long, dark night. Selene is relentlessly fixated on persuading Xander about the depths of their relationship, and I am consumed by a whirlwind of nerves and fear. I tremble with fear at the thought of him abandoning me, casting me aside like a forgotten relic, drawn back to the embrace of his first love, the one who holds the key to his heart and soul.

“Luna, do you need water?” Denver’s eyebrows furrowed, his eyes filled with worry, as he asked the question.

I shook my head. “I don’t. I just need some space right now. I know there are a lot of things happening.” I responded. His piercing gaze reveals that he sees right through my deceitful words, yet he obediently acquiesces to my desires, granting me the solitude I crave.

The sound of Xander and Selene’s heated arguments echoes through the air, filling the space with tension and discord. Xander’s unwavering love for her is evident. He’s crumbling apart. He’s writhing in agony. He was consumed by a sense of betrayal, his heart heavy with the weight of shattered trust. In his mind, it seemed as if the world had come crashing down around him, leaving nothing but a desolate landscape of despair. I’m filled with fear that history will repeat itself — those haunting days when the echoes of Selene’s piercing screams reverberated through the walls, like a pleasure scream.

I stepped into the dimly lit bedroom, feeling the weight of the day on my shoulders—with a sigh, I surrendered to the plush embrace of the bed, sinking into its softness as if it were a cloud. I instinctively pressed my hands against my face, my heart pounding in my chest. The sound of footsteps grew louder, each step echoing through the room, sending shivers down my spine. I could feel it in my bones, the unmistakable presence of Xander. I spun around, my eyes locking onto him in an instant. His eyes glisten with an unshed tear, as if trapped in a delicate dance of sorrow.

“Xander?” I softly exhaled my words, barely audible in the stillness. I brushed away my tears, my heart pounding as I rose to my feet before him.

“She was consumed by a searing sense of betrayal, Solaine,” he stammered, his words stumbling out as if struggling to convey the weight of his emotions.

“But she stabbed you in the back—”

“Solaine, she’s absolutely crazy for the both of us. You were the one who shattered her trust, leaving her feeling utterly betrayed. It seemed as though the entire world had turned against her, with even those closest to her joining the ranks of the betrayers.” He rudely cut me off mid-sentence, abruptly halting my flow of words.

“I should talk to her,” I uttered, hoping it will fix everything, but his head trembled in refusal.

“Solaine, don’t,” he commanded, his voice firm and authoritative. His eyes, shimmering with unshed tears, revealed the depth of his emotion. I can vividly perceive it with my own eyes. He yearns to reunite with her, but I am hesitant to trust my instincts in this moment.

“What do you want me to do?” I inquired, and he took deliberate steps, closing the distance between us.

Gently, he reached out and tenderly brushed away the salty trails streaming down my cheeks. “I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to hurt you, Solaine. It’s hard for me. I don’t know. Can you just please don’t do something that will hurt her?” His words pierce my heart like a thousand needles.

I sobbed. “What are you talking about?”

“f**k it, Solaine . . . I don’t know. How I wish I can answer you right now, but it pained me. It pained me to see her. I felt like I betrayed her, and I shouldn’t have done this with you, now it’s hard for me.” he mumbled. He brushes his hair with his hand while looking at my eyes.

Tears streamed down my face as I wept uncontrollably. “Do you still love her?” Trembling with fear, I mustered the courage to ask, my voice quivering and on the verge of breaking, dreading the sound of his response.

“Sol, please don’t—”

“Xander, I demand an answer from you. I dread the thought of being utterly foolish and abysmal. Don't pretend that I don't experience a profound sense of guilt for our relationship. You emphatically declared that you were completely finished with her--”

“Yes,” he interrupted me abruptly. Silent and eternal. “Still and always. I love her so much, Solaine. Every time I see you, I think about her. Your grey eyes reminded me so much of her. You filled my void. You filled me when she’s not with me, but it’s not enough. She’s back and she wants me back, she’s my source of happiness.” I look at his eyes straight with pain — I feel like I’m gonna cry with blood right now.

The pain inside of me resonates with my wolf, intertwining our souls in a symphony of anguish.

“So, it turns out you never truly loved me?” I stared intently into his eyes, my voice filled with curiosity and doubt, as I probed him with a barrage of questions.

I yearn for him to utter those words, to confess that his love for me transcends my mere existence as Solaine. I crave his affirmation, not for being a mere reflection of Selene, but for the unique essence that is me.

His gaze drops, his eyes fixated on the ground below. “I’m sorry, Solaine. It’s her who I love. It’s still her, always. I tried to erase her from my mind. I tried to move on by giving you a chance, but no. My love for her gets even harder and deeper.”

I inhaled deeply, feeling the weight of my emotions building up inside me. “Why is it that—”

“I absolutely refuse to hear another word from you, Solaine. I implore you to rectify the damage you have inflicted upon Selene. She's the one who shares your blood, your history, and your secrets. I want you to offer her an apology. I want her back. If your love for me and your sister burns like a passionate flame, then you will find the strength to do it, and in my heart, I am sincerely remorseful. I am filled with indescribable joy whenever I am in your presence, but alas, my heart can only perceive our connection as a mere friendship.” He begged, his eyes filled with desperate sorrow.

Is it truly nothing more than a mere friendship? Is it possible that him taking my virginity and passionately kissing me is an indication of a deep bond of friendship between us?

I crave the fiery rush of anger coursing through my veins. I yearn to fiercely slap him, my hand connecting with his face in a resounding echo of betrayal.

“So, I’m out of the position?” I inquired, feigning indifference, but my tears betrayed the true depth of my emotions.

“Tomorrow. Selene will replace your position. I want you to make things right while it’s early.”