Alphess: An Angel of Death

First Impressions

There was nothing I could have done to prepare for this moment. No amount of nightmarish dreams, no amount of stewing over it in the past few weeks. I doubted even had I fantasized about it like my little sister was known to do, would I have been even remotely prepared for this. My wolf started howling inside of my head almost immediately, and I winced and had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming too. She was always so close to the forefront of my mind, always just a breath away from taking control. I realized now how dangerous that really was. She was ready to blow what little cover I had left. Ready to ruin our chances of getting out of here in order to find Titan.

            Most werewolves exist inside of their mind with their wolf, as two separate entities. Like two souls inside of one body. My parents always described it like having your best friend or alter ego right inside your brain. You could hear them voice their thoughts and you could talk back. You were, of course, alike and for the most part wanted the same things, liked the same things and were driven by the same things. But there was still a separation there, a thin veil that kept the ‘human’ and the ‘wolf’ distinct so as not to fully succumb to the more beastly desires of our nature. However, I had always existed so closely entwined with my wolf we were nearly indistinguishable. Considering I was driven much more by the animalistic side, we existed as one practically at all times. I very rarely heard her speak, because my thoughts and her thoughts were identical. I very rarely felt her emotions, because mine were the always the same. If it wasn’t ‘kill’, then it was ‘survive’. And that is how we had been for nearly a decade. Together. But now, we diverged. She wanted to reveal us, to touch him or to release our true scent so he would know who we were. She wanted her soul mate, and it honestly did pain me to tell her no. To force her down, to push her behind the veil.

            ‘Why?’ She cried, her voice a whimper now.

            ‘Think about it. They know who we are. They know we’ve killed. They know we’re wanted. Do you really think an Alpha werewolf will take kindly to that? He will reject us immediately. And we don’t have time for the heartache.’ I felt like I was explaining something to a toddler.

            ‘So, you want him too?’ She sounded so hopeful.

            I very nearly growled. I hated to admit it but denying the truth to my wolf was futile. She already knew the truth, she just wanted me to say it to her. ‘He is my mate as much as he is yours. Of course, I do. But we can’t.’

            She was about to add more to her argument when the gorgeous man sniffed the air and made a disgusted noise. My attention moved outwardly again to stare at him with a frown. What was that all about? For a heart wrenching moment, I thought in the internal struggle, I actually had let my true scent out and this was his reaction to me. But that thought dissolved quickly with his next words.

            “You stink,” he said. His voice was husky and deep in just the right way. It was like music to my ears. But his words were rude, and I frowned deeper.

            “Excuse me?” I huffed. “Of course I stink! I’ve been stuck in this crypt for the past few weeks!”

            His eyebrows shot up and he rounded on the Colonel next to him. “Noah! You haven’t let her up to see the sky? Smell fresh air? You haven’t let her bathe?”

            Colonel Jacobs (or I guess his first name is Noah) frowned and crossed his arms defensively, but still hung his head in a subtly submissive way. “Sir, with all due respect, it wasn’t safe. You know she’s—”

            “Dangerous, yes, I know that,” he said, sounding as if he were offended Jacobs could think he was an i***t. “But she still has basic rights.” He turned those rich blue eyes back to me as Colonel Jacobs made a disgruntled noise. His perfect rose-colored lips twitched up in a smirk as he took me in. I knew what he saw – a she-wolf with greasy, unkempt dishwater blonde hair that barely scraped his shoulder on her tiptoes. Did he think Colonel Jacobs was exaggerating? Did he think I wasn’t dangerous, or was he just amused by the irony? “So, Alpha Slayer. What is it you are doing here?”

            “Alpha Slayer? That certainly is a new one,” I said, snorting.

            He seemed surprised, his eyebrows going up just a notch. Oh, he was so cute but so easy to read. Like a damned open book. “You are Hayden Cromwell, are you not?”

            “Yes,” I said. “It’s just I have heard many other—”

‘Stop.’ My wolf murmured. ‘He doesn’t know.’

It dawned on me after she said that. I paced back to my bed and perched on the edge, drawing my legs up beneath me. He might very well only know who I was in this part of the country. The very abridged version of me. No, scratch that, he may only know my origin story.

‘We have a chance. If he doesn’t know everything….’ She pleaded.

‘We’d have to tell him eventually. We still don’t know if he can handle that. Just…give me time, okay?’ I was going to get a headache from this. She whimpered but fell quiet and I was grateful.

“Other what?” he asked, earnest curiosity on his features.

“Never mind,” I said. “It seems you know who I am. So, who am I?”

He crossed his arms and pursed his lips and his eyes went back to darkness as if he remembered exactly who he was dealing with. “Almost a decade ago, you attempted the murder of your own father, esteemed Alpha Anderson Cromwell. You succeeded in shaving a life off of his years, and you were thus banished from Olympia’s territory for the rest of your life. Now, I’m not quite sure what to do with you yet. First I think I’d like to know more about why you were crawling around on my territory.” His voice was stern, almost abrasive. I hated that it made my head spin in a good way. He turned to Colonel Jacobs. “Escort her to take a shower, then bring her to my office. I’d like to speak with her in private.”

            Colonel Jacobs looked downright astounded to hear those words come out of his Alpha’s mouth. He only hesitated with his surprise for a moment before bowing his head. “Yes sir,” he said.

            “Good,” he said. He turned to glace at me again, his face studying mine with that earnest curiosity again. “See you soon. When you don’t smell.” The smirk he left me with would haunt me for days.

-x-

            Colonel Jacobs disappeared for a brief moment before coming back with what appeared to be rusty handcuffs. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing – he thought handcuffs would stop me from taking him out and any other people who got in my way should I choose to? I was just being polite. I was playing opossum, so I didn’t have to deal with so much bloodshed. I didn’t want to have to fight my way out of here. My train of thought was interrupted when the cuffs were slammed down on my wrists. I let out a strangled cry and my knees nearly buckled – these were silver cuffs. Aside from wolfsbane, true silver was one of the few things that could damage a werewolf for longer than a few minutes. Silver was not only toxic when ingested, but it also burned the skin like a vampire in the sun. My wrists were on fire and it was the most excruciating thing I have ever felt….and I’ve died. Literally.

            The warrior shoved me forward out of the cell and beckoned for me to walk down the hall. I looked down at my arms and saw the raw skin where the silver had touched it. I sucked in a harsh breath and did my best to compartmentalize it, but it was the type of pain that radiated up my arms, into my chest. It felt like everything was a raging forest fire. I didn’t have the wits about me to even comprehend where I was going aside from following the prompts from Colonel Jacobs when he pushed me one way or dragged me another. I was just glad that when we got outside, I found it was nighttime. I’m not sure how I would have been able to deal with sunlight after weeks underground in addition to the pain-induced nausea. The burning to my eyes may have pushed me over the edge and I actually would have vomited. We finally stopped in front of a door somewhere inside the mansion. I had just enough in me to glance around for a brief moment.

            The hall was long, with multiple doors along it and golden sconces on the cream-colored walls. I could see that there were ornate frames holding pictures or paintings, but from here I couldn’t quite see what was inside the frames. The floor was lined with rich oak hardwood – the real kind, and it was old. It was pockmarked and a little uneven in some places, but that just made it all the more beautiful. Colonel Jacobs made a grunting noise and I looked up at him sharply. He rose an eyebrow and pointed at the door in front of us, telling me to go inside. I raised my arms, hoping he would take the cuffs off long enough for me to shower in peace.

            “If you so much as think about attacking me, I will kill you,” he whisper-growled to me.

            I didn’t find him as scary as he wanted to be. I just nodded.

            He plucked gloves from his pocket and put them on before unlocking the cuffs. He beckoned toward the door again. “I will be standing right here. Hurry up.”

            I rolled my eyes at him and stalked into the bathroom, closing and locking it behind me. I looked at my wrists again – showering was going to be a real b***h with how bad this looked. I sighed, going to turn on the water before stripping down. I caught myself in the mirror and I realized just how much of a ragamuffin I was. My wolf cried out in dismay. ‘He saw us like this?!’

            ‘It’s not that much different than normal.’

            ‘Ugh, yes, it is. At least we can wash off on a regular basis.’

            Even I had to admit that now that we stood in this immaculately clean bathroom with its marbled countertops and golden faucets, we were grimy. The walls were bright white and so were the rugs and the towels. I was a little afraid if I touched anything, I might stain it. I scratched at my arm and felt like I had a layer of dirt on my skin. I reached up to pull my hair out of its ponytail and it swung down in a gross, slimy clump. Now that I actually could take stock of myself, I admitted I looked pretty gross. This was certainly one way to make a first impression.

            ‘Well its not our fault.’ My wolf reminded me.

            ‘Fair. We are a prisoner. Lets just shower and get meeting with him over with.’

            ‘Aren’t you the least bit excited?’ she asked, pouting again.

            ‘Not really. I want to get out of here. I want to get back to the pack, I want to take down Titan.’

            ‘What if…what if he could help us?’ she asked it shyly, already knowing my reaction.

            I had to clamp a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. ‘There is NO way that he would help us destroy Titan. He thinks I killed my own father.’

            ‘So we tell him the truth!’

            ‘Do you really think he’d believe us?’ I didn’t really mean it as a question. I was pretty sure the answer was no. With that, I just got in the shower and focused on getting clean. The warm water was relaxing, and it was nice to actually stand in a real shower again. We only had running water intermittently, when the pipes weren’t completely frozen solid, and even then, it wasn’t usually this decadent warmth that surrounded me now. It was cold, and we mostly used it for cooking or cleaning dishes. A pang of loneliness hit me – I missed them. I missed them and I wished I could give them this. This ease of living. Sure, they had all come from situations that didn’t allow them much in the ways of lavishness or, often, even basic personal rights. But I was leading them now, and all I could manage was a hidden dilapidated building to call home. They deserved more. They deserved better. I often lamented these feelings to Taryn, who assured me that the material things were a worthy trade for their freedom. None of them that had stuck with me would have it any other way. They had chosen that life with me. It was with that thought that I truly allowed myself to enjoy this cleanse.  

I rinsed out my hair and scrubbed my body clean. I scrubbed it until the water flowing down the drain was soapy and clear again, rather than tinged with grayish dirt. I relished in the ability to lather my hair with shampoo, to get every crevice really clean for the first time in a long time. I was even reluctant to have to get out. I sighed, stepping onto the fluffy bathmat and grabbing a towel to dry my hair and then my body. My wrists still stung like hell, but the shower had been worth it. I picked up the clothes that had been left for me – plain, worn blue jeans and a men’s red tee shirt with some kind of sports team logo on the front that had nearly faded to non-existent. I put the clothes on, glad that the jeans were only a little off in size, so I didn’t have to keep pulling them up or adjusting them. The shirt I absolutely swam in – it was easily four or five sizes too big for me. As I slipped it over my head, I caught the scent that still lingered, and it made me dizzy. It was his scent. I was wearing his clothes. I almost tore the shirt off in favor of the dirty one in a heap on the ground, but a self-indulgent desire stopped me. I couldn’t help it…I wanted to smell him. To smell like him. I wanted to be wrapped up in his scent all around me, and this would probably be the only way I ever could. So I kept it on, ran my hand through my hair to try to get it to somewhat cooperate (I gave up) and opened the door again.

Colonel Jacobs appraised me with a blank face. “Hm,” he said. “I suppose you do smell better, but now you smell like flowers. Give me your arms.”

“Is this necessary?” I asked, while obliging and holding up my arms for him to snap the cuffs back on. I had to bite my tongue to keep from snarling in pain. The fresh contact on my still-raw skin made the experience 10-times worse. “I’ve been nothing but compliant.”

He didn’t respond. He just snagged me by the elbow and dragged me down the hall. We passed through a gigantic entry way. I saw the staircase swirling upwards toward the multiple stories above us, the same hardwood as the floors but covered with a thick maroon carpeting. The front door was massive, standing maybe 20 feet talk and made from a single piece of wood. A chandelier glittered stories above us hanging from the vaulted ceiling. I wanted to keep looking, but he shuffled me along down another long hallway. We reached the very end and stood in front of the last door. The scent of cardamom and fresh pine forests intensified, and I swayed a little on my feet.

Colonel Jacobs raised his meaty fist and knocked three times on the door. The husky voice of the Alpha came from the other side. “Come in.”