VJ

16 - Talk to me!

Chloe

“Max, will you please talk to me?”

It’s not really a question, but I am so tired of him ignoring me. He’s ignored me for days. I tried to talk to him this morning, but he wouldn’t answer. It was like he was the deaf one and couldn’t hear anything I was saying.

It hurt me so much. I hate this. I really, really hate this.

Max got home an hour ago and still hasn’t said one word to me. He came in, kissed Daisy, told her how much he loved her and ignored me. He went to get a beer from the fridge, came back, and still ignored me. I’ve tried to talk to him repeatedly, and he’s ignored me!

He’s being childish!

I hate this bad feeling between us. Max is my best friend. I don’t know what to do to make him forgive me. He won’t even look at me.

Christ, was sleeping with his brother really that bad?

Did it warrant this silent treatment?

“Baby, why are you so angry?”

Max looks at Daisy but doesn’t say anything. She cups his face, and I watch his eyes close for a second.

Max really loves Daisy. Even the touch of her hand on his face calms him. They’ve been in love since they were at school — just two young kids who couldn’t be parted from each other. Like I said before, they have a love most can only dream about. A love I know I’ll never find. I can see them getting married, having children, and traveling the world if they so wish.

“You can’t keep this up, Max. It isn’t fair to anyone. Days you’ve been ignoring Chloe. You’re going to end up driving her away, and I know you don’t want that.”

He sighs deeply, leans into her, and kisses her softly. “Of all the people, it had to be him.” His eyes are on me now, and I feel two-foot-tall right now.

Max seems so much taller and meaner all of a sudden. Not that Max is mean in any way; he’s a sweetheart. However, he’s angry with me, and I don’t fully understand why.

“You could have any man you want, Chloe. Yet the first man you give yourself to after what happened is a man incapable of giving you anything more than a night here and there.”

“Max, I know you’re annoyed with all of this, and I had no clue VJ was going to do what he did at the clubhouse, but I have a mind of my own. I know you worry about me, but can you honestly stand there and tell me your brother would physically hurt me?”

“It’s not physically I’m worried about, Chlo. My brother is mentally unstable. He can’t give you what you need.”

It’s a sad state of affairs when even your own brother believes you are incapable of having a real relationship. Sure, any relationship VJ might have in the future would be nothing like the relationships of regular people, but I don’t believe he’ll never love or be loved. There is someone out there for VJ who will understand him completely and be able to put up with his outbursts and his lack of emotion.

There’s someone out there for everyone, right?

“Max, I’m not saying I want a relationship with your brother, but I like him, no matter how crazy that makes me sound.” His eyes haven’t left me yet. Daisy is watching me also, and I feel very uncomfortable. “You’re right. I probably should stay away from VJ; he’s no good for me. But I know there is good in him, Max.”

“I didn’t say my brother was a horrible person, Chloe.”

“No, but it’s like you don’t want him even to try to prove he can feel what you feel. I know you love your brother, Max. I know that you love me, too. But I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself. Please, just step back a little.”

I watch him looking at Daisy for a moment. He kisses her softly before walking over to me. He takes my shoulders and smiles down at me. “I do love my brother, Chloe, and I love you. I just want you to be happy. But I have to know that you’ll be careful and that you won’t fall for my brother because you’ll only end up hurt.”

“I know. I’ll be careful.”

Max rolls his eyes before hugging me tightly. He has no faith that I won’t fall for his brother, but he’s wrong; I won’t. I’m not stupid.

Yes, you are. You will so fall for him.

I need to talk to VJ about this whole claiming thing. I won’t be treated like that; I don’t even know the man very well.

What the hell must his men think of me?

They must think I’m a slut!

VJ comes out of prison, he’s back a day, and he’s already claimed a woman he met the night before?

That in itself is insane! It’s strange that he hasn’t been around for the past few days. Maybe he’s already done with me.

Who knows?

I’ll think about it tomorrow. It’s been a very long few days, and I just want to sleep this day away, even if it is too early for bed. Tomorrow, I’ll know what to do and what to say to VJ. If he turns up, that is. Everything is always easier tomorrow.

However, today wasn’t any easier. Again, I didn’t see VJ at all. Not that I was looking, but I thought maybe he would have been around to see Max. Perhaps even me to explain why he claimed me the way he did and then avoided me. But no, he was nowhere to be seen.

I spent the day working and going about my day as I usually do. Then, I went to the center to help the kids with their music. It helped keep my mind off VJ. I got home and ate alone because Max and Daisy weren’t back for dinner. I showered and took myself to bed early. I was exhausted.

However, my dreams are filled with visions of a man and his hands touching every inch of me, his mouth following my puss.y pulsing so hard I can feel my orgas.m about to take over me in my sleep.

I wake with a start, my heart pounding out of my chest, my chest itself heaving. My whole body is on fire and shaking all at the same time. I have never in my life had such an arousing dream. Christ, my c**t is throbbing! I didn’t cu.m in my sleep, but I swear, I was so close I could feel it. But something woke me up before I reached the edge.

I blink against the darkness, my legs shaking. There’s a figure at the end of my bed. A colossal figure, tall and built. I can’t see correctly; I’m still in a sleepy state. I know I only see a figure in my room because of that fact. The mind plays tricks on you sometimes. I don’t need to be afraid; no one has found me; they can’t get me here.

I ignore the figure, reach for my hearing aid, attach it, climb out of my bed, and make my way to the shared bathroom down the hall. I use the facilities, wash my hands and face, and momentarily stare at myself in the mirror. That dream seeped its way into my bones. After a few days of knowing VJ, I’m already having erotic dreams about him. I don’t know how the hell he did this to me, but I can’t stop wanting him. All I can think about is what he might do to me the next time I see him.

Didn’t Max warn me what his brother was like?

So why am I standing here wishing I could be the one to show VJ that he’s capable of all the things people say he isn’t?

Because you’re stupid, Chloe. Men like VJ don’t just suddenly realize they’re capable of feeling things they never have before. Men like him don’t settle down with girls like you.

Sure, you’re attractive in your own right, you have your own breasts, a bubble butt, and you’re not overweight. You might not be every man’s fantasy, but VJ certainly likes you and what you have to offer. But that doesn’t mean he’ll ever want a relationship with you.

He doesn’t even know that you’re deaf, does he?

What happens if your hearing aids falter or stop working?

It’s not like they haven’t before. A man like VJ wouldn’t want anything to do with a woman who couldn’t hear him tell the world how wonderful he is.

Okay, I’m being way harsh there.

Why on this earth would I even think that about somebody?

Yes, I am deaf. Yes, my hearing aids have been known to stop working. Once when the batteries died, which wasn’t supposed to happen with the style of hearing aid I had. The second time it happened, actually, was only three months ago. I was at the racetrack with Max and Daisy. Max raced, and Daisy and I were in the stands watching him proudly.

I was supposed to be working, and it was like 0-3, and my hearing was gone. I was plunged into silence all over again. I said nothing all day until Max waved his hand in front of my face. I’d been reading something and obviously hadn’t heard what he was saying to me.

I looked at him and bit my lower lip as tears filled my eyes. He used sign language to ask me if I could hear him speaking. I burst into tears and shook my head. Max took me to the doctor, who told me with sincere apologies that I’d been given faulty hearing aids. That’s when he again advised that cochlear implants would be best for me. However, I refused – again – because my insurance wouldn’t cover it all, and I just couldn’t afford the shortfall.

Max offered to pay, but I declined because there was no way on this earth that I would ever let anyone pay my way. In the end, I opted to keep my mini hearing aids. They work just as the doctor said they would, but he warned me that it wouldn’t always be the case. He’s sure that one day, I won’t even hear with the aids. Until that day comes, I’m not going to think about it.