VJ

13 - Advice from a good friend

Chloe

I cannot believe that bastard did that!

How dare he fuc.k me like that and then tell the whole club that I am his woman!?

I thought Max was going to kill me! He didn’t come home with me; he stayed at the clubhouse. I just hope he didn’t confront VJ and get hurt. Not that I think VJ would harm Max, but I’m not sure Max wouldn’t do something to antagonize VJ over this.

Max was so angry with me, so mad that his brother was the one I slept with last night.

I mean, how the hell was I supposed to know who VJ was?

All right, maybe I should have known, Max has spoken about him a lot since we met. Max and I met at the race track. I am part of Max’s team. I often work in the office, ensuring Max looks good on social media. I also check everything is as it should be before Max races. I’m also what the racers call a Rally Girl, which means I cheer Max on from the sidelines and get the crowd riled up in support of my best friend. I make good money doing what I do, but that’s not why I do that job. Okay, it helps, but I love that job. It is so much fun!

Anyway, from Max’s description of his brother, I thought I would have known VJ the instant I saw him. However, when I saw him in that club, he looked so different. Being in prison will do that to you, I suppose. He’s enormous, covered in ink and scars, and he’s beautiful in a very rugged kind of way.

I don’t regret sleeping with VJ; it was the best night of my life. He made me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of, and he took away my fear of being with someone like that again. Then, when he took me against the wall in that room at the clubhouse... Oh my God! It was beyond amazing.

I feel so different since it happened. I can’t explain it, yet I feel so good inside. It’s scaring me, though. I shouldn’t feel like this about a man I’ve known not even two days — a man like VJ.

Okay, I shouldn’t have gotten swept up in se.x with VJ at the clubhouse. It was beyond disrespectful of me. But I couldn’t help it. VJ does something to me. He makes me want to be reckless. He makes me feel beautiful.

Disrespect aside, was it so wrong to want to be with him?

Then there’s Max. As I said, he wouldn’t come home with me. He told me to go alone because he needed to speak with his brother about a few things. I asked Max not to make a big deal out of it, that VJ claiming me in front of everyone was just his way of trying to protect me from everyone else in the club. Maybe somehow VJ realized that I’m scared in case... Oh, I don’t know why the hell he did it. Max certainly believes VJ did it for his own gains.

I know Max loves his brother, but he also thinks VJ is the worst kind of dangerous. But I don’t feel scared of VJ in that way. Yeah, I’m afraid that he could draw me into his world, make me fall for him, and then break my heart and not give a damn that he’s done so.

But I’m more scared of the fact that I don’t think I can fight this attraction between us. I want to fight it, but the thought of not having VJ in some way scares the shi.t out of me.

How can that be when we’ve known each other for a few short hours?

After a long hot shower, I change into pajama shorts and a tank top, blow dry my hair, and then tie it up in a bun on top of my head. I’m creaming my face when the lights flicker in my room, letting me know the doorbell is ringing. I’m not too good at hearing the door; that’s why Max had this light system hooked up. He didn’t have to, but I was touched that he did.

I look through the peephole. It’s Daisy, Max’s girlfriend. She only got home an hour ago from her trip to Europe. She wasn’t home on time to come with us to the clubhouse to welcome VJ home. Not that Daisy likes VJ. She’s told me plenty about what a bastard he is.

Why didn’t she use her key to get in?

Regardless, I smile because I could use some girl time. I open the door to her smiling face and usher her inside. I can’t hear what she’s saying because I don’t have my hearing aids in. I always take them out while I’m showering. I learned early on that getting them wet sends loud white noise down my ears for hours afterward. I couldn’t stand it. It hurt my head way too much.

“Just a sec, babe, I need to grab my hearing aids.”

She nods at me with a smile on her face.

I love Daisy, she’s amazing. She’s so pretty, with dark red hair that touches her ass, and it’s all real! Big brown eyes, slim but not in a too-skinny way. She has big breasts and a big butt, and she’s always dressed like she belongs on a catwalk, makeup and all. Daisy is one of those women who look polished even in sweats. Unfair is not the word. I couldn’t look that good if I tried, and believe me, I’ve tried.

I envy her body shape like you wouldn’t believe. My breasts aren’t big, but my butt and thighs have shape to them. Okay, my backside isn’t big like Daisy’s, but it’s not small, either. Although Daisy has told me more than once that she envies my shape, I always roll my eyes at her because I don’t see how she can when she looks the way she does. I love her and the way she loves Max. He loves her just as much.

I watch them with each other sometimes, and the way they’re so considerate of each other, and it makes my heart burst with love for them. Because their relationship is strong, there is nothing and no one who could ever tear them apart. They’ve loved each other since middle school, even if it took them a while to get together. They’re the two halves that make one whole. I doubt I’ll ever find a love like that; I’m not that lucky.

“Drink?” She asks me that, but she’s already poured us both a glass of white wine.

I nod and smile while attaching my right hearing aid. That’s better; I can hear her now. I take the glass from Daisy and sit down on my super comfy couch. I freaking love this couch; huge and gray, soft and comfortable. I often fall asleep on it. It’s like it has superpowers and sends me to sleep each time I sit on it, which is probably a bad idea right now.

“Why didn’t you use your key?”

“Well, I left my suitcase in the trunk of my car. My keys are in the suitcase, and I couldn’t be bothered to go back and get them when I realized.”

I laugh out loud because that was the definition of lazy!

“So, why are you sitting here with me? You just got back from your trip. Aren’t you tired? Didn’t you want to see Max first?”

She shrugs. “I am tired. And yes, I wanted to see Max first. But I refuse to spend time with his brother. Besides, I’m going to spend the night with my man doing whatever he wants. I missed him so much. I’ve been away just over a week, and it felt like forever without him.”

Well, that explains that.

“So...” Here we go. Max called her and sent her here to talk to me about VJ. I just know it. “VJ, huh?”

Yup, I was right.

“What about him, Daisy?”

“I think you know what. I get that you didn’t realize who VJ was last night, but today? What the hell got into you?”

“He did,” I mumble with a smirk behind my wine glass.

“Chloe!” We both burst out laughing. It’s good to laugh; I don’t do it enough. “Girl, really?”

“I know Max is pissed with me about this, but I can’t seem to control myself around VJ, Daisy. It’s like he has these voodoo powers that just suck me in.” I sigh and lean my head back against the couch for a second.

“I’m not here to tell you that you can’t have fun, Chlo. In fact, I think fun is just what you need. However, do you know anything about VJ and what he’s really like?”

I do know what he’s like. Max explained just what VJ was like. We sat one evening drinking and talking about his big brother in prison. I won’t lie. When Max told me how VJ didn’t even know what love was all about, I thought to myself that he must be a complete monster, especially after hearing how he beat that guy almost to death.

I mean, what kind of man does that?

Bikers, I suppose. However, I wondered how a person could go about their life without feeling what regular people feel.

How could VJ never feel hurt the way others do?

How could he never feel love the way others do?

It boggled my mind because I’d never met someone like that before. Max told me that VJ saw the world completely different from everyone else. He didn’t understand how his siblings could get married and show their other halves love the way they do. He didn’t even understand how they could become parents and idolize their children.

Then Max drummed it into me again outside the clubhouse. It’s not that I didn’t believe him before, and he didn’t need to tell me again. However, I guess meeting VJ for the first time, Max wanted me to know it was all very true and very real. VJ is so detached from feeling anything other than rage and anger, even obsession in some ways, that Max fears his brother will never live a normal life.

VJ would never fall in love because he isn’t capable of understanding the emotion. The only thing he is capable of is being possessive of people, his family mainly. That told me that VJ feels love. He cares about his family, even to the extent he’d kill for them. He may think he isn’t capable of love; even those around him may feel the same thing, but I don’t believe it for one second.

All VJ needs is one particular person to show him that he’s more than whom he thinks he is, just one person to show him that they understand him, and he’ll be able to show it in return.

I’m not saying that I’m that person. In fact, I know I’m not strong enough for that, but I do hope VJ finds that person soon. Every person deserves to know love, even if they don’t fully understand the emotion.

“I know what VJ is like, Daisy. Max told me everything about him.”

“I’m a little offended VJ thought Max had finished with me and was now with you. I know he doesn’t like me, but I hoped he knew Max was my everything.”

I’m trying not to laugh at her. She’s not really mad about it, but I can understand why Daisy’s a little offended.

“VJ knows how much Max and I love each other, how much we’ve always loved each other.”

“Maybe he just doesn’t understand why you two have been together so long. You said yourself that VJ doesn’t feel those things. Perhaps he doesn’t know how to get his head around it.”

“I know.” She sighs. “That’s why Max and I are worried about you hanging around VJ.”

“I know you think I’m stupid, just as Max does for what I did today, but I couldn’t help it.”

“I’m scared it’s already too late for you.”

I laugh loudly. “What the hell, Daisy? I slept with him a couple times. That does not mean there’s no hope for me.”

“You may laugh, Chloe, but you don’t know VJ as I do. He never sleeps with the same girl twice, and I mean never. For him to have slept with you more than once, he must see something in you that he has never seen in anyone else. VJ is attracted to you in a way I don’t think even he understands. He’s becoming obsessed with you already, and that could be a dangerous thing. Not for you, but for those around you.”

I blink as she tucks a fallen strand of my hair behind my ear and smiles at me.

“I won’t sit here and tell you to stay away from him. VJ just has that pull about him that makes women want to be near him. Moreover, if he wants you, nothing will keep him away. However, as your friend, I will tell you to be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt, nor does Max.”

“I’m not going to fall in love with him, Daisy,” I hope. “Nothing will happen between us again. I let my guard down earlier, but I won’t be doing that again.”

Daisy doesn’t say anything more on the subject, even though I know she thinks I have no clue what I’m doing. The truth is, I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I know if VJ walked through that door right now, I’d be powerless to stop him from taking what he wanted from me, and that scares me more than anything else ever could.

I know nothing could ever come from being with VJ; it’s not like he’d ever want a relationship with me. If what people say about him is right, he’s incapable of it, and I’m not the kind of girl who can do casual.

I know what I want for my future. I’m boring, and I want the ordinary things. I want to get married and have children. I want a house and a big dog and to teach music professionally. Most would tell me to think bigger and to want more from my life. However, walks on a Sunday afternoon with my husband, kids, and our dog sounds like the perfect afternoon to me. Wanting those things doesn’t mean I can’t have a profession; it doesn’t mean my life won’t be perfect because it will be all I need.

I have to keep my distance from VJ. He’s probably done with me now, in any case, but in case he isn’t, I’m staying the hell away.

Good luck with that, Chloe.