Jonathan I wasn't expecting it to be easy to whip up a desk job without experience but, I wasn't expecting it to be this hard as well. It could be because I was pressuring myself to be a better man for Ciara, somebody that was worth standing by her side with my head held up high. Only then would I be able to propose to her knowing that I could provide a stable life for her. But I couldn't even get a proper job. How then was I supposed to do all that?. I'd intended to hide my disappointment from Ciara as she already had alot to deal with but I couldn't keep my feeling bottled up any longer. If I didn't let it out, I might burst from within. "I'm sorry" I apologized. "I didn't want you to see this side of me" Caressing my face in her hands, she replies. "Well, thank you for shari

