Till Eternity (teacherxstudent)

Chapter 7: Confession

As if being distracted in class was not enough, I spent the weekend thinking about Mr. Jones and all he said. I wondered about his threat to kiss me. Why me? Does he do this to the other girls? Maybe I should tell someone… But who would believe me? Students and teachers – they all act all giddy and in love with him. I sighed in bed until my mother yelled at me to clean the house.

I lied. I froze with the mop in my hands as I recalled the message in the book. Could he mean he was lying when he said the his meant nothing? No way. I scrubbed the floor frantically, as if desperately trying to rub the memory out of my head. And they say girls are complicated…

But I could not get it out of my mind. And, so, Monday I was determined to seek the truth before it killed me. At lunch break, I waited for him at the rooftop, but the one time I wanted to see him, he did not show up. Hence, after his class, I sneaked a paper similar to his, beseeching his presence up on the rooftop after school.

I counted the seconds until the History teacher stopped talking about his life’s history instead of the world’s. I then packed my things in a hurry, though not savagely enough to bend the corners of my books. I rushed as quickly as I could across the hallway. Bumping against others, younger and older, they eyed me in disgust as if my mere touch would corrode their own appearance and reputation. I slammed the rooftop door open and saw Mr. Jones standing against the fence, looking cool and impatient. I caught my breath and automatically apologized until I recalled who I was talking to and stopped myself halfway. He crossed his arms in mock condemnation.

“Jeez… You arrived late, even though you were the one who called me here.” Mr. Jones’s aggravating smirk revealed how this was all amusing to him. “Is there a reason for calling me out here, or did you just miss me?” His smirk grew as he took a couple of steps towards me. I faltered, wanting to back away, forgetting that I was in fact the one who arranged this crazy rendezvous. I immediately regretted all of it.

The only answer I could think of giving him in that very moment came in the form of a disgusted look. There is no way I would ever miss this man. Might as well get this over with. I breathed in deeply until I found the courage to ask the question that has been haunting my mind for days.

“What did you mean by that letter?” He played dumb by giving off a confused look that said he had no clue what I was talking about. I grunted impatiently. “You said you lied. About what? What did you lie about?”

“Hmm… Who knows?” he smirked, placing a finger on his chin as he pretended to think. “What do you think it meant?” His mocking tone stuck my nerve.

I grunted internally once again. I don’t have the time for this. “I don’t know. That is why I asked.” I tried intimidating him to speak with a glare, but it only made him chuckle.

He approached me as one would approach a wary dog. I did not move, eyeing him cautiously. Mr. Jones then cupped my chin with a warm hand within the cool breeze of the outdoors air. “Guess.” he said in a suggestive whisper.

I backed away and rolled my eyes, realizing that he would not give me a straight answer. “Never mind.” I said, ready to leave. “Forget I ever asked.”

At that moment, the door was completely out of sight. My back touched malleable surface and my hands felt the cold spikes of the fence designed to stop any students from ending their misery. The only thing I could see was the gleaming eyes before me, dimming all the rest. They pierced me, entranced me, until I would not dare look away. I drowned in their hazel gaze and allowed them to empty my mind. I gulped, knowing I could not escape. But that trance broke as soon as he spoke.

“You sure you don’t want to know?” the smirk on his lips grew onto his cheeks. I rolled my eyes once again. Can this man-child ever take anything seriously?

I pushed him, surprised that I managed to nudge him and that he did not force me in place. However, I quickly got over that surprise and commanded my feet to walk away and head towards the exit. At that moment, he called me, and for some stupid reason, my feet stopped obeying. I looked back with a final hope of receiving a straight answer.

“I lied… about that kiss.” His face grew serious with that same gleam of anguish it emanated the day of his return. I froze in place, my head flooding with confusion. He approached me cautiously once again.

“That kiss wasn’t meaningless.” A shock pierced my chest and the turmoil from my mind dispersed across my entire body. I was speechless. “I just though that maybe if I told you it meant nothing you could just forget it and move on.” He kept on speaking, but I just wanted him to stop. “I should have thought of how it would affect you. I’m sorry.”

Before I knew it, he was back in front of me and his warm hand was on my cheek. He stared into my flooding eyes. I slapped his hand away and forced myself to hold back the tears, not wanting to show any type of weakness around him.

“How could you ever think that would make me feel any better?” I yelled. “My first kiss was stolen by a teacher – a perverted man that flirts with students and kisses middle school girls!” At that moment I could no longer hold myself back and the tears my eyes had swallowed rose back and rolled down my cheeks.

“Maybe it doesn’t anything to you, but that was my one and only first kiss! And maybe I am naive for reading to many books and for falling into fantasy, but I always thought a first kiss was supposed to be something special and magical, and…” I stopped myself, realizing that I had already said too much. I wiped my eyes and wished I could just disappear.

Suddenly, however, heat overcame me and my body was shielded from the rolling wind. My eyes shot open only to face darkness. I was wrapped in his arms and could not move, as if I were trapped by a chain – a soft and somehow soothing chain. His hands gently rubbed my back and I did all I could to prevent myself from mollifying in this jerk’s deceptive embrace.

“You’re not naive. It is supposed to be special, and I took that from you. I’m sorry.” he said, as if his apology could ever make anything better. “I’m sorry for lying and for hurting you,” I just wanted him to shut up, but he kept on going, “but I do not regret having kissed you.”

My eyes shot open. Mr. Jones’s grip on me released, but still, I did not budge. He grabbed my shoulders and crouched so our eyes would be at the same level. He was trying to entrance me with those hazel spheres again.

With a serious look impossible to fabricate, even by the most talented of actors, he said, “Maybe that kiss meant nothing to you, Deb, but it did to me.”

W-what do you mean? Those words lingered in my tongue, though I could not manage to sound my voice. All I could do was remain staring, not knowing what to do or how to answer. I felt like a passenger in a paralyzed body.

With the determination that bunt in his eyes, his voice reverberated in my ears and throughout the rooftop air.“Deborah, I like you,” he paused, but not long enough to let me react, “and not as a teacher or a friend.”

HUH?!

No, no, no. This can’t be happening. I just wanted to know that my first kiss did not go to waste, but I most certainly did not want a confession – especially not one from a teacher!

With the turmoil my mind was in, I could no longer tell if my body remained frozen in place or if it was jittering and quaking as much as my heartbeat. Mr. Jones then opened his mouth to speak once more, and all I wanted to do was jump in and cover his mouth or tell me to shut up, but no matter the strings I pulled, the carcass that housed my soul would not respond. Red sirens sounded in my head, desperately trying to awake it. Alas, I could not move, much less stop him.

“You’re the very reason I left, and you’re the reason I came back to this school. Everything else I told my boss and your class were just lies.” I gulped and my mind went blank. Mr. Jones stared seriously into my eyes, this time waiting for a response or reaction of some kind.

Unable to say anything, I faltered, feeling a sudden gust or wave pushing my thoughts and my heart down. My mind was empty. Mr. Jones took a step forward and I took a step back, repeating this dance until the fence bent at my touch. My wrists were in his hands that, at the same time, grabbed onto the chain, linking us together. I pressed my eyes shut and felt his husky whisper close to my ear.

“I’ll prove it to you.”

My eyes shot open as I felt the familiar touch of his lips on mine. It felt just like last time, though somehow softer. It was as if the kiss three years ago was all about him and his desires, but this one seemed to beg for my reciprocation. His tongue begged for entrance and intertwined with mine, draining all the energy and turmoil from my mind and body. I drowned in it.

Only when he pulled away did I realize the tears flowing down my cheeks. He gently wiped them away, holding my face in his mature touch.

“I’m not lying, Deb, and I swear I don’t do this with any other girls.” he said as if he could read my paralyzed mind. “Go out with me.” He kissed my forehead and released his grip, turning to leave.

Halfway towards the door, he turned back around. I was still in the same place and position he left me. Mr. Jones smiled and winked amusingly. “Think it over. I’ll be here Friday after school, waiting for an answer.”

He winked and disappeared into the building.