Almost Always You

Chapter 3

It was almost midnight when the party was over. James had left with some girl without informing me. Peter came downstairs for a while. He apologized for not being able to spend time with me and went back upstairs, saying he was tired because of all the s*x he had. Mercy had fallen asleep on the couch with Josh. I think they both like each other. Xander was picking up his drunk buddies and taking them upstairs to their room. I decided to clean up, as it would be less work for Xander. After a while Xander came back downstairs and started helping me.

"Are you the one who usually cleans up?"

"Nope. It's always someone else, but today I'm doing it because I'm not drunk."

We finished cleaning up after some time.

"I've put everyone down to bed."

"What about these people?" I asked, pointing to the floor where random guys were sleeping.

"They'll be gone by the morning. Harry is sleeping on my bed. He's all out; I don't think I'll be able to move him. I think I'll be joining these guys on the floor."

"Umm… We have an extra bed in our room; if you want, you can sleep there." He smiled at me. "Okay, I'll just go and get my jacket." He ran upstairs.

Xander came back wearing his jacket. We walked out and made our way towards my dorm. We reached it, and Xander noticed that the elevator is out of order.

"This elevator is always out of order. I don't even remember seeing it work."

"Why were you at the girls' dormitory?"

"I've f****d a lot of girls in these dorms" he said with a sly smile. I felt weird and somewhere deep hurt when he said that. I ignored that feeling and rolled my eyes at him.

We reached my room. As we entered, Xander went towards the empty bed and took off his shoes and shirt. Oh my God!!! Look at those abs; it's so glorious. "Done staring?" he asked, laughing.

"I wasn't staring. I've seen better." I looked into his beautiful eyes. I was lying, of course. I've never seen someone with such a perfect physique. He has eight packs for f**k's sake.

"Ohh really! And who might it be, may I ask?"

"My ex-boyfriend Adam."

"You had a boyfriend?" he sounded disappointed. Maybe I'm just imagining things.

"Yes, for 2 years. Broke it off because I was coming to London and we knew it wasn't going to work long distance."

"Oh! That's great. So he had a body like me?"

"Well, he didn't have eight packs like you but had six. I'm sure that he would still be stronger than you. By the way, are you on steroids?"

I didn't want him to know that I was intimidated by him and didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I think he is sexy.

"Nope! It's natural, baby." Oh, the way he calls me baby. "And how do you know that he's stronger than me, huh?" He was now walking towards me. And I was subconsciously walking back. I stopped when I felt the closet door on my back. He was now standing just inches away from me. He lowers his head to look me in the eye.

"Tell me, El, how do you know that he's stronger?"

I was at losing my senses. Having him this close to me is bringing up all those feelings I had for him 2 years ago. And I can't let that happen. He left me alone back then, and I know he would never feel the same for me. I know I'm thinking as if he used me and left without saying a word, but the thought of never seeing him pained me. I'm not ready to get hurt again this time.

He was now looking at my lips. I pushed him away and said, "I just happen to know, alright. Now turn around; I have to change."

He didn't say a word and just turned around. I changed my clothes. It was really warm, so I decided to put on a tank top and shorts.

"I'm done," I said once I was done changing.

He turned around, and his eyes went dark. He was just staring at me. I cleared my throat, and he just snapped. He went towards the empty bed and stripped down from his jeans. He was now in his boxers. Once he got settled in, I turned off the lights and went to bed. We were quiet for some time. The silence was killing me. I wanted to ask him about the past 2 years and about that girl Nikki. Is she his girlfriend? Since when did he start dating again? But I was not courageous enough to ask him.

He finally broke the silence. "James never told me you were coming to London."

"I never thought you and James would be friends again… Umm… you know, after that Riley incident."

"I forgave him and Riley before I came here. I had to do it in order to move on. Even though he and I are friends again, we aren't like we were before."

"Did you love Riley?" I had to ask. He was silent again. I shouldn't have asked that. I heard him suck in a deep breath.

"Love is a strong word. I started dating her because I was just tired of sleeping around. I never had feelings for her at the start of our relationship, but as days passed, I started liking her. We never had s*x. We just used to make out and stuff. I don't know, but I had a feeling that she's not interested in me fully. When I heard about her and James, I was hurt. Not because she was my girlfriend at the time. I was hurt because it was James who slept with her. I don't think I can trust anyone again like I trusted James."

"You know you can trust me, Xander. I know we were never close to each other before, but I'm here if you want to talk about anything. I guarantee you I'm never going to break your trust. I mean, if your girlfriend doesn't mind."

Don't know what came over me to say this, but I wanted him to know he was not alone.

"Thanks, El, but I'm good, and I'll be fine."

"Stop trying to be a punk, alright. Everyone needs someone. You're too proud to ask for help."

I raised my voice.

"I think we should go to sleep. I'm tired," he said.

I didn't say anything else. I just turned around, facing the wall, and closed my eyes. He always does this. He closes up on everyone.

"By the way, El, Nikki's not my girlfriend. I haven't dated anyone since Riley," he said a few seconds later. I was super tired to reply, but I was happy to hear that. I don't know why. I slowly drifted off to sleep with a smile on my lips.