Break Me, Fix Me

Chapter 5 – Her tragedy

(Patricia)

I felt dizzy and hot all over. My skin was itchy, and my core was throbbing. I felt weak. Suddenly, a heavy body pressed down on mine, tearing my clothes and kissing my skin. Everywhere he touched sent a strange, overwhelming sensation through me. It was a feeling I couldn't describe.

I clung to him tightly, like he was the savior I had been waiting for. I knew this was wrong, but I couldn’t control my body's reaction.

Then, without warning, he thrust into me. The pain was unbearable, and I screamed, begging for mercy, but my pleas fell on deaf ears. He kept going until the pain consumed me, and I finally blacked out.

******

What a strange dream, I thought as I opened my eyes.

I was lying on a bed in an unfamiliar place. It felt like my body had been run over by a truck, but somehow, I was still alive.

At first, I thought I might be dead because of the white walls around me, but then I heard voices and noticed that I wasn’t alone in the room. Also, science has made it clear that dead people can’t feel pain.

“Doctor, she seems to be awake now,” a nurse said. I could tell from her clothes.

“How are you feeling, ma’am? Do you feel pains anywhere?” the doctor asked me.

“I feel pain all over my body, most especially in my vaginal area,” I admitted, my cheeks flushing. “Where am I and how did I get here?” I asked.

“You’re at St. Claire’s Hospital. You were brought in yesterday by a young man who said he found you at the roadside,” the doctor answered.

“What’s the last thing you remember before waking up?” he asked.

“The last thing I remember was…" I tried to recall, but my mind was blank. "I don’t know.” I whispered, “Would it be weird if I said I can’t remember anything?"

“No, it won't,” he assured me. “Do you have any family members we can call?”

“Yes, I do,” I replied. Then panic set in. “Why are you asking for my family members? Is something wrong with me? What happened to me?”

“Calm down, ma’am,” the doctor said gently. “We just want to speak with them and ask a few questions.”

“Okay.”

That could have been more believable if your nurse wasn't looking at me with those pitiful eyes.

Suspiciously, I hesitated before calling out my mom’s number. Halfway through, I stopped.

What if something was REALLY wrong with me? I didn’t want my family to become worried or for them to start panicking.

Instead, I gave them Janet’s number; she was my best friend. She was told to come to the hospital, then the doctor and nurse excused themselves.

Once they had left, I lay back down on the bed with an IV inserted in my arm, my thoughts wandering around. I couldn’t forget the look in the nurse’s eyes; it haunted me. It was as if something terrible had happened to me.

Not long after, the door opened, and Jane walked in. Her eyes were puffy, as if she had been crying. Fear gripped me.

“What happened to me?” I asked immediately.

She sat beside me, held my hands, and looked into my eyes. “Patricia...I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you and no matter what happens, I’ll always stand by you.”

I trembled, “What happened to me, Jane?”

Her lips quivered before she spoke, “You were r***d. The doctor said the injuries... in your private area... were caused by the assault.

The police have been informed. They will soon be here... Patricia.” She called out when she found me staring blankly into space.

“Can you hear me, Pat...”

Her voice faded into the background as my world collapsed around me. The words “You were r***d” echoed in my mind, breaking me into pieces. My body shook uncontrollably as I realized that the “dream” I had earlier wasn’t a dream; it had really happened.

Tears filled my eyes, and they gushed out like a broken dam.

“…what will your mum do? Your family would be heartbroken if they saw you like this,” Jane said softly, “But you are strong, Pat. You will surely get through this.”

Her words finally seeped in; I couldn’t let my family see me like this. I’ll only add to their burden.

The police arrived and asked me questions. I couldn’t answer some of them. The doctor explained that my memory loss was most likely caused by shock.

“I want to go home,” I told Jane. I wanted to go where I could feel safe and cry.

“Alright,” Jane said and went to take care of my discharge procedures.

Since my clothes had been torn beyond repair, the hospital provided me with another set. Jane and I left by cab. She dropped me at my house, asking me to call if anything happened.

I reassured her, and she left.

But as I approached the house, I froze.

Inside, I overheard the voices of my mother and my twin sister, Anita.

“Mommy, I’m so happy. I can finally start college again. Not just that, we can finally join the upper society. I can finally hold my head high among my friends," Anita said cheerfully.

“That’s right, my dear," my mother replied. "We'll finally leave this filthy house and move to the big city.”

“I told you it was worth it, selling that girl off. Pretending to be her twin sis for thirteen years finally paid off. I was always so irritated whenever someone asked why my 'twin' was brown-skinned, and I was fair, it was so annoying,” Anita sneered.

“That wretched girl,” Mom scoffed. “She couldn’t even make enough money for the family with her delivery job. Yet she was always desperate for my approval. I wonder where she is now.”

“She could die for all I care. But won’t Dad be angry when he comes back?” Anita asked.

“He won’t,” Mom said flatly. “He’s been trying to get her off his neck for some time now. It would be ...”

I didn’t wait to listen anymore. My heart had shattered completely. Quietly, I turned and walked away.

I felt suffocated but kept walking, and I walked into the middle of the road, absent-minded. A car honked, almost hitting me. Night had already fallen, and the world around me had become dark and cold.

I didn’t know how far I had gone or even where I was.

My family, the only one I had ever known, had sold me off like an object. I was scared that I would make them worry, but it seems I thought too much. I was nothing but their money bag.

Mom had always compared me to Anita. Now I understand why. Anita was her real daughter, and I… I was a stranger. No mother would prefer a stranger to her own offspring.

The money I worked so hard to earn was what we used to feed and get Dad's medication. I was practically the breadwinner of that family, yet at the first chance they got, they threw me away.

No wonder I never saw mom’s “brown-skinned sis." It turns out I wasn’t related to them at all.

"Patricia!" Someone screamed.

It was Jane.

“Where are you going?” she asked. “You left your purse in the cab. Are you okay? What happened? I have been calling you. She walked to where I was and pulled me into a hug. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

Immediately I saw her, the dam broke. I collapsed into tears, crying so hard my face swelled, and my eyes turned red.

We took another cab back to her rented apartment. She asked me gently if I remembered anything, and my tears flowed harder. The memories I hadn’t remembered rushed into my head.