LOST ON YOU

2;More than just a stranger

The weight of him resting on my lap felt unreal in the most calming way possible. He wasn’t heavy, yet his presence filled the space around me completely, warm and steady like something that had always belonged there. I lowered my gaze, half-expecting him to shift or move, but he didn’t. He slept peacefully, his breathing even and quiet, untouched by the noise and chaos from downstairs. There was something about the way he rested that made everything inside me slow down, like the world had softened just for this moment.

I could not explain what I was feeling, and that only made it more overwhelming. It was not just happiness or curiosity, it was something deeper, something that settled in my chest as though it had been missing for a long time and had finally found its place. Before I realized it, I was smiling. It felt strange, almost ridiculous, to feel this way over someone I had just met, someone whose name I did not even know yet, and still I could not stop it. I had lived with my bandmates for almost ten years, sharing everything from rooms to meals, laughter to exhaustion, building a life that felt solid and unbreakable. They were my family, the closest people I had ever known, the ones who understood me without needing words. And yet, even with all of that, none of those moments had ever felt like this. What I was feeling now was unfamiliar, almost frightening in its intensity, but I could not deny it.

My fingers moved without much thought, gently brushing through his hair, careful not to disturb him. It was softer than I expected, and he did not react, remaining still, completely at ease. The simple act made something in me tighten, a quiet wish forming before I could stop it. I wanted this moment to last, longer than it should, longer than it was meant to. The thought startled me, but it did not go away. It felt like something had been missing all along, something I had never found in anyone else, not even in the people I loved the most. My bandmates meant everything to me, and that would never change, but this feeling was different. It was not the comfort of brotherhood or the familiarity of shared memories. It was something softer and deeper, something that made me want to stay close, to protect, to understand.

My love life had never been something I thought much about. The last time I had dated anyone was back in high school, and even then, it had never felt right. After that, I stopped trying, convincing myself that it was not something I needed. No matter how beautiful someone was, I never felt drawn to them in that way. I told myself I was fine with it, that I did not need more than what I already had. Not until now. The sound of a phone ringing pulled me out of my thoughts.

For a brief moment, I assumed it was mine, but then I felt him move. Slowly, he opened his eyes and reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone. He answered without speaking, his expression unreadable as he listened. There was something in the silence that made me curious, but I did not ask. After a few seconds, he ended the call and sat up, the warmth of his presence leaving me instantly. I did not realize how much I had gotten used to it until it was gone.

He stepped down from the counter and looked at me, and once again I found myself caught in his gaze. There was something about his eyes that made it difficult to look away, something that felt too intense, too direct, as if he could see more than I wanted him to. I held my breath for a second without meaning to.

“Thank you,” he said softly. His voice sent a quiet shiver through me, low and calm in a way that lingered longer than it should have. For a moment, I could not respond. My thoughts felt scattered, my emotions louder than my words. By the time I managed to gather myself, he was already walking toward the door. Panic settled in quickly. I could not let him leave like this, not again, not without knowing anything about him.

“I am having a house party,” I said suddenly, the words coming out faster than I had planned.

“Forest Triage, Itaewon, this Saturday. Please make sure you come.” I did not even realize I had said please until it was already out. I watched him, trying to stay composed, but I knew my expression betrayed me. I was waiting, hoping, maybe even asking more than I should. He paused at the door and turned to look at me. For a moment, he said nothing, and I thought he might just leave again without answering. Then he spoke.

“Axel.” The name settled in the air between us, simple and clear, yet somehow it felt like more than just a name. Before I could react, before I could say anything else, he opened the door and walked out, leaving me behind once again.

I stayed there, staring at the door, trying to process what had just happened. Axel. I repeated it in my mind, unsure whether I had heard it correctly. Was that his name, or did it mean something else? The unfamiliarity of it left me confused. I quickly took out my phone and typed it into the search bar, wanting to understand, to confirm, to make sense of it. Before the result could even load, the door opened again.

“Jeez, we’ve been looking for you everywhere.” I looked up to see my bandmates walking in, their expressions shifting from worry to relief the moment they saw me. It had been almost an hour, and of course they had noticed. They always did. More of them followed, filling the space with familiar voices and energy, the kind that always brought me back to reality. I watched them for a moment, a quiet warmth settling in my chest. We had spent so many years together that even a short absence felt wrong. With our contract ending in two months, the thought of going our separate ways had started to feel less like a distant idea and more like something real. It was unsettling.

Because they were not just my bandmates. They were my family. They were the people who argued over small things, laughed over nothing, and stayed by each other no matter what. They were the ones who made everything feel stable, who made everything make sense. And I loved them for that. But even as they talked, even as their presence filled the room again, my mind drifted back to him. To the quiet moment we had shared. To the warmth that had disappeared too quickly. To the name that refused to leave my thoughts. Axel. Something told me this was not the end. And somehow, without fully understanding why, I knew that the next time I saw him, everything would change