✨Solaris✨

Solaris Chapter 2: The Choices We Make

I wake up in a sweat with my heart pounding. I have dreamt of Briar-Grace again. In my dreams it was her and not Vanessa who found me naked in the stream yesterday. And in the dream Briar undressed on the banks under two shimmering full moons and waded out to me. Her full breasts were just below the crystal clear water- she was offering herself to me. And just as I drew her into my arms to have her, the first rays of sunshine shone through my curtain, stabbing into my eyes, bringing me back to the reality and this budding new day.

I stare at the ceiling, and stretch out. Thinking. Briar-Grace is a moon were. She’s slender with fair skin and long, silky, brunette hair. Her dark eyes betray her sweetness and she smells like comfort and desire. I’m not the only sun to be mesmerized by her- there are two others in competition for her. They want her for their Wife. But Briar wants me. And I want her too. Except there’s a problem. One, tiny,red-haired problem- Lucy Fox.

Lucy Fox is Briar Grace’s daughter. Lucy is relatively new, only in the mid-spring of her life- no longer a toddler, not yet a big kid. Lucy is in that endearing phase right before little ones become big kids and no longer want to colour and play with dolls.

Lucy is as sweet and gentle as her mother- everyone in the pack adores Lucy. But no one more than Briar-Grace. That little wereling is her whole world. Briar is a devoted mother, and Lucy always comes first.

Lucy’s sun-mother was publicly executed not long after the elders discovered that Briar was pregnant. Briar was never the same after the assault that resulted in Lucy. Our medicine woman did deep work on her.

Briar-Grace is a one-woman-were. She believes in love and monogamy. She wants to settle down and have more werelings. And as much as I want Briar-Grace, I know I can’t be the Wife she needs, and deserves me to be. But the pull between us is consuming. When I’m near her I find myself wanting to touch her and kiss her, and toss her over my shoulder and take her back to my quarters to have my way with. And I know she wants me too- I can smell her lust for me whenever we are close. The other sun’s chasing her smell it too- and they hate me. Both of them are offering her everything she wants, but it’s me- with my offer of nothing- that she seems to be waiting on.

I close my eyes and the ceiling disappears, replaced by the blackness of my eyelids. In the blackness I see Briar-Grace. She is in my pleasure room, over my knee, receiving a pink ass. My heart rate builds as the imaging in my mind’s eye builds- I’m delivering blows with more force against the milky white of her bottom cheeks. She’s moaning but makes no attempt to slither away. My hand moves down into my pants and begins to rub and enter the wet lips there- I work my s*x until pleasure encapsulates me and I c*m to the thought of f*****g briar-grace. When it’s over I roll onto my stomach and fall back to sleep

***

I feel refreshed after a shower and ready to be on duty- I’m on for the next 3 days and I’m ready for the distraction, especially this time of year when the matching ceremony is drawing near. I know I have to take part this season- it makes my stomach feel like it’s full of icy glass. Sun mother won’t listen when I say I’m not ready to take a Wife- she thinks that I’m selfish and am devoting too much time to pleasure and play and not enough time to commitment and responsibility. Out of desperation she asked me if I was one of those strange Were’s who could take multiple matches. I laughed. She became angry. I told her it wasn’t about variety, it was about freedom. Sun mother roared that I was ungrateful and bringing shame to the Corvin name. Moon mother spoke a few gentle words which seemed to put the collar back on sun mother because she dropped the conversation. “Freedom…it’s a luxury, and an expensive one. Our numbers have fallen since the Tekuteras began hunting us for our Moon’s. It is in your best interest, and in the best interests of our kind, to take a Moon for a Wife and have plenty of Werelings. It’s your duty, Solaris” Sun Mother’s eyes are intense, her brow drawn together in a deep frown. Moon mother places a hand on my shoulder and smiles softly at me, “I know this isn’t what you want to hear” her voice is so soothing, it reminds me of when I was a little girl, the way she’d speak softly to me to help me back to sleep if I woke from a nightmare. “This is hard for you” moon mother’s compassion begins to c***k my stony composure and I will the stinging of tears in my eyes to subside, “I can see this is hard for you, but your Sun Mother is right. You’re our Wereling and we love you so much and only want what is best. And I must tell you something…” my body becomes tense as I wait for moon mother’s disclosure. “The elders have been speaking, and unmarried Were’s must have a companion of the opposite kind during their weak hours. They’re going to make it law- they don’t want any Were’s without protection…”

I pull out a dining room chair and sit, I take a pink candle off the table and dig my fingers into the wax. “It’s not fair- I shouldn’t have to take a Wife like this. Under pressure. And I shouldn’t have to be chaperoned. I’m a respected up and coming of the sun warriors, and I’m being treated like a spring wereling. How is this right?!”.

Sun mother takes in a deep breath, “Sometimes doing what is right means doing what we don’t want to do, for the grater wellbeing of our kind. This is a burden we must all shoulder living in community. Living in numbers provides safety and access to vital resources. But to enjoy these things, we’re asked give back, to do our part”.

A sigh passes over my lips. “I don’t suppose you’ve pre-selected me a Wife?”. I am only joking, but moon mother sits in the chair beside me. “Your sun mother and I have been talking…”

“Oh you’re kidding me!“

“Mind your mother!” Sun mother warns

“Sun mother and I feel that a good match for you would either be one of the Moss daughters, or one of the daughters from the Campbell, Zion, Landis or Anders family…”

“And what if I don’t want any of them?”

“I don’t believe that’s true. There’s talk that you spend a lot of time with Jasmine Anders…” Sun Mother’s voice sounds almost hopeful

“We’re friends. That’s all” my tone is flat, to the point.

“These are wonderful families with wonderful daughters, any one of which would make a perfectly acceptable Wife” Moon Mother’s eyes seem pleading, as if by staring at me she can summon my compliance.

“I…don’t feel anything for any of them…how would you feel being in my shoes, being asked to marry out of duty and not love?”

Sun mother pinches the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger, moon mother draws in a long, steady breath. “The elders will not permit you to stay unmarried for much longer. And although it’s not a power they ever draw on, remember they can select your wife for you, if you refuse to take one…”

I rise to my feet so fast the chair under me screeches backwards and bangs to the hard wood floor. I can hear sun mother trying to call me back but I rush out of the front door and make my way to the Moss household where my bestfriend lives with her two mothers and many sister’s. Usually I wouldn’t dare walk up the long pavement to the two-storey home, surrounded by it’s beautiful gardens, high up on a hillock, but I needed to see Raquel and running the risk of one of her intimidating mothers’ opening the door, was a risk I was finally willing to take.

I pause before I knock on the door. I feel my heart thrumming in my throat. The door opens and Topaz is standing there- she is the eldest of the Moss daughters and just as beautiful as the others. Her skin is olive and her hair is dark brown and cut into a spikey pixie cut which suits her personality. Topaz- unlike the rest of her family- is not intensely serious. She is light and bright and always has a warm smile. “Hey Solaris- what can I do you for?” her eyes seem to sparkle. I imagine taking Topaz as a Wife and it sends a shiver along my spine- the Moss girls feel more like cousins, even though they’re no relation. My bond with Raquel makes her sisters’ unsuitable for wife material. “I was wanting to see Raquel”. “She’s upstairs in her room- you can go right up if you’d like”. “Uh…no thanks. Could you get her to come down?”. Topaz shoots me a smile, “ok, no problem” she says and disappears upstairs to find Raquel. A few minutes later my bestfriend appears. “So, you’re still weird about coming inside my house, huh?” Raquel smiles and steps out onto the porch, closing the door behind her. “Rah, you have no f*****g idea. I’m especially weirded out today”. Raquel raises an eyebrow and falls into step beside me as we follow the stone path to the botanical gardens- a favourite place that Were’s go to relax and connect with the spirit of nature. “What’s happened?” Asks Raquel. “My mothers want me to take a wife and they’ve listed your family as one of the acceptable families I can choose moons from”. Raquel frowns and sighs. “I know. My mothers have mentioned you…”

I feel the anger bubble under my skin. “And what do your moon sisters think of that?”

“They’re hard to read, mostly. Some of them are excited by the idea, some are holding their feeling close to their chest- no one is dead against it though…if that helps?”

“It really doesn’t. You know how I feel about your sisters- because of my bond with you, they feel more like cousins”

“My Sun Mother is particularly interested in pairing you with Nayla”

I sigh. I feel like I’m losing control of my life. “Nayla is….”

“Choose your words wisely…”

“…beautiful. She would make an amazing Wife. She is our kind’s future medicine woman. Being her Wife would be an honor. But I don’t see her that way. I don’t see any of them that way”.

Raquel smiles sympathetically. “Is there anyone you do like?” She asks. My throat becomes tight and uncomfortable. “Yes, but she’s not from one of the pre-approved families” I say in a tone of disgust. “Who is it?”

“It’s…complicated…” I sigh and sit on a boulder, staring up at Raquel. “It’s Briar-Grace…”

Raquel looks surprised and sits on a boulder opposite me. We’re surrounded by plants and flowers- like we’re in a mini-jungle. The sun’s shine bright and warm above. “Look, I can see why you like her. She’s very beautiful and very kind”

I stare down at the ground for a few moments. “Yeah, and I’m not the only Sun that thinks so”

“You’re talking about Bexley Adler and Juniper Elliot, aren’t you?”

“I am”

“Briar doesn’t seem interested in them. If anything, I’d think…well…I’d think…”

“That she likes me?”

“Well, yeah…”

“I think so too. The liking each other part isn’t the problem”

“Is it the Wereling?“

I sigh and rest my chin on my knees that I’ve pulled up. “It’s not that I don’t like Lucy- she’s a sweet Wereling. It’s just…I’m not ready to be a mother. I know I wouldn’t make a good mother and Lucy and briar deserve more than that”

“But she likes you…”

“Yeah, but if I’m being honest with myself, Juniper or Bexley would be a better fit”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Well, that’s sort of why I decided to see you today. I’m not sure what my next move should be”

“Could you talk to your mothers’ about how you’re feeling?”

I half laugh and straighten my legs out, leaning back on the boulders with my arms behind me. “They won’t listen. They’re hell-bent on me taking a Wife. They said if I don’t choose soon, the elders might invoke law and choose for me”

Raquel looks horrified, “They can’t do that! Do you want me to get one of my Mother’s to talk to them?”

“No, but thanks. I’ll figure this out on my own”

***

It’s the matching ceremony and it’s not half obvious I was dressed by my sun-mother. I look…embarrassingly Formidable. Black, tailored clothing with an upturned, short collar. Long sleeves, long pants, black boots with silver details. I almost look like one of those mythical creatures with the peg leg and parrot on the shoulder. My vanilla-blonde hair falls down my back in complex, intricate braids, courtesy of my moon mother’s talents. I know my mother’s have made me eye-catching, and have done this for a reason. But I hate it. All us sun’s are on a small, wooden stage, standing spaced apart in a line. Soon the moon’s will get to choose who they wish to court them.

I noticed that not long after Bexley and Juniper scanned the moons and didn’t see Briar, that they left the stage. Excellent. I decide to follow their lead but sun mother seems to materialize at the bottom of the stage’s steps with a burning glare in her eyes. I turn and make my way back to the stage. I imagine just leaping off the stage and running away, but one of the elders is at the front of the stage, inviting eligible moon’s to stand before a sun. In moments I have a flock. About 15 or so moon’s. They look giddy with excitement. I do a quick glance to see how the other Sun’s fared- the most any one of them had was 9 moon’s, and that was Hiraani Landis, from one of the top-tier families. It was no surprise- Hiraani is stunning and deeply intelligent and kind- like her mothers.

When the ceremony is over and it’s announced that the 14 days begin, I make my way off the stage and begin to walk home, but I’m flocked by my moon’s. “Aren’t you going to say goodbye?” says one. “You’re meant to arrange when you’ll see us again!” says another. “Can I have a hug goodbye” says one. “Can I come home with you?” One asks boldly. I stare at them in their over eager, hopeful eyes. Brooke Rippon- an auburn haired third born from a middle tier family, beams me a green-eyed smile. Brooke has always been a flirtatious Were, but until now, I thought she was a c**t-tease. But it was her who asked to come home with me. I raise an eyebrow and smirk. “Wait here until the others leave” my words have made the others frantic and jealous- I’m in hell. It’s like having 15 girlfriends. I decide to address the group- “look, can I just be honest? My mothers want this. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve …never done this before. Just…go home tonight, but meet me back here tomorrow, ok?” “what time?” Comes a desperate voice from my crowd of moons. “Let’s say, 10”. Some of them are excited and eager, some crestfallen and sad,- a few seem angry and annoyed. All of them seem to have daggers in their eyes for Brooke. The flock say their goodbyes, I get 14 hugs and then they all reluctantly leave. When everyone is gone Brooke saunters up to me “so…what did you want with me?” Lust sizzles in her emerald eyes, fanned in thick, inky black lashes. “I wanted to tell you that I will have my own home at the end of this week. I’m not making any promises of marriage, but if you want to spend the night with me when I move into my house, you can”. Brooke steps closer, pressing her breasts against my chest. She brushes a soft finger over my lips “until then” she coos and walks away. I smile after her and get going.

When I walk through the door my mothers are there, just about cracking with electric excitement. “15!” Sun Mother is beaming with pride. “Nobody has ever got that many! Some sun’s had none- they’re saying it’s your fault!” Sun mother is elated. “You did so well tonight” moon mothers smile is broad and kind. “How do you feel?”. “Actually, tired, I might go to sleep”. The conversation drags out for a few more minutes and then I head up to bed. At the top of the stairs Arizona is there- she’s dressed for bed. “What are you going to do?” She asks quietly. “About what?” “You don’t love any of those girls…” sometimes her insightful ness pisses me off. I wish she’d give up on trying to be my sister. I wish she’d just go away. “Yeah well, it is what it is. Maybe I’ll be happy with one of them” I say. “I hope you hold out for love…” Arizona’s voice is soft and sad, and then she walks away. In that moment she reminded me of Rosetta and my eyes were reminded they were just watery gateways for this pain. I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand and go to bed.

***

I wake to Paola shaking me. “Sol! Sol! Wake-up!” I c***k open my heavy eyes and Paola’s face is staring down at me, worried and anxious. Beyond her Arizona is standing by the window that overlooks the front yard. She’s biting her nails. “What?” My voice is croaky and dry. “The moons are here…” says Arizona without looking over at me. “What? No…” Arizona looks at me now- “You better get down there- Sun-Mother is letting them all in. I sit bolt upright “WHAT?!”. I spring out of bed and pull on some dirty jeans and a clean t-shirt. I make my way downstairs to the living room where my mother’s are hanging out tea and biscuits and making small-talk. “Solaris!” Sun mother beams. “You have company!” The moons stare at me, the eagerness seems to be renewed with the start of another day. “Uh…” I run my fingers through my vanilla-blonde hair and frown at the ground while I try to think. “Um…let me get ready…meet me at the river at around about 2? Ok?”. The moons look disappointed but they accept my offer. I walk away abruptly with the briefest of goodbyes and leave. I find my room is empty of my adopted sisters and I crawl back into bed. A few moments later I’m in a semi-sleep and I hear a knock at the door. I lift my head to see Brooke standing there. “May I come in?” I nod. Brooke closes and locks the door behind her. “Where are the others?” “They’ve left. I told your mothers that I needed to get something from you” “And what was that?” “Well, if they’d of asked I would have said the address to your new home” “But what’s the truth?” “An o****m”. Surprise immobilizes me. “Look, can we raincheck? The walls are thin in this house” Brooke grins “I’m good at being quiet”. “I’m sure you are. But let’s wait until we can be loud”. Brook shrugs “until then”. The green eyed seductress shoots me a wink and then unlocks the door and leaves. I lay back on my pillow and stare at the ceiling. “I’m in way over my head” I mutter to myself.

***

After a long, tiring day with the rivalrous Moons, I decide to go to the tavern when I start to power-down, for a cold ale.

I sit at the bar, nursing a glass of amber liquid. The place is quiet and for the first time all day I feel like I can hear myself think. I look to the left and I see Dolly Fox sitting in a booth by herself surrounded by empty glasses as she works on a fresh one. Dolly is Briar-Grace’s mother. Dolly is the same age as my mothers’ but she somehow seems much younger than them. Dolly was widowed a few years ago and around that time she took to the comfort of cold ales to help her through it. Now it’s become a crutch and she’s almost a permanent feature at the tavern.

I turn my head back to my drink and think on what I will do next- none of these moon’s can be the kind of wife I’m looking for, and I can’t be what they need either. I’m going to have to bow out- it’s going to look bad and my sun mother is going to be furious.

I take a long swig of my ale when Rocco Adler approaches the bar and orders two drinks. Rocco has wild blonde hair and always wears a leather jacket and a grin on her face. Rocco is like the Summer-Were that never grew up, and now she’s in the autumn of her life, just like my mothers, and Dolly. Rocco takes the drinks and as she turns she shoots me a wink and goes to sit with Dolly. I steal a quick glance but I can hardly believe what I’m seeing-it looks like Rocco is trying to chat up Dolly.

I’ve heard my Mother’s say on plenty of occasions that Rocco has no shame.

There’s a lot of Were’s in the pack who don’t like Rocco because she set a new precedent in our pack when she fought hard to take more than one wife. Now Rocco has 3 wives and 9 daughters. The elders were concerned that allowing Rocco to take more than one wife would create a generation of Were’s who turned their back on monogamy. But when the elders saw how In-love the first two wives were with Rocco, they allowed it. And then a little further down the track Rocco took another wife.

I’m in two minds about Rocco- on one hand, I respect that she is her authentic self and lives her life the way she wants, and on the other hand, she does seem to shamelessly hit on Were’s she finds attractive- usually Moon’s and always pretty and blonde. Rocco made the terrible mistake of hitting on my moon mother many, many years ago, and sun mother left her with a little crescent moon-shaped scar on her chin.

But Rocco is not the kind of person to hold a grudge. She’s easy going and gets on with everyone- a happy, energetic person who is always smiling. She doesn’t seem to harbour any ill will towards my sun mother, but she is mighty respectful when she is in the presence of my mothers.

My mothers are one-were-Were’s- monogamy is a cherished belief of theirs, and I know that my lifestyle disappoints them. My need for freedom and variety makes them disappointed in me. Rosetta would have understood- Rosetta would never have tried to pressure me into marriage.

I look over to where Dolly is seated and the scene has changed- all the empty bottles have been cleared and Dolly’s face has brightened- I can’t hear what Rocco is saying but she’s making Dolly laugh. “Good for them” I tell my drink before I have another sip. I feel the fullness of my bladder and decide it’s time to relieve myself.

I flush the toilet in the rest room and come out to wash my hands. Rocco is there washing her hands. “Hey Sol- how are ya goin’?” Rocco’s had a few ales herself and her round face is flushed pink from the drink. “Not bad, yourself?” Rocco turns off the tap and grabs some paper towels to dry her hands. “I’m good” “Good, I’m glad to hear it”. “You have yourself a good evening” she says and turns away. “Hey…” I call out after her. Rocco pauses and only turns her head back “Yeah?” “What’s it like having more than one Wife?” The ales have made me bold and the question just kind of pops out. Rocco laughs and gives me a smirk, “Give it a go- find out for yourself” and then Rocco is gone and I’m washing my hands, wondering about her very forward response.