The Alpha King

chapter 8

Artemis

Sitting silently in the passenger´s seat staring out the window at the darkening night, I tried hard not to focus on every little movement Ryker did while he was driving or think about how the energy in the car was so tense you could barely breathe normally.

While I had waited for him outside the bar, I went through every word and action that happened previously trying to pinpoint the exact moment where I lost my focus and started sharing things about my life. Because I wanted to avoid that from happening again. If I got too comfortable around someone I would spill the darkest secret of my life and I had worked hard to bury it as deep as possible so no one could dig it up. Not to mention what happened all those years ago, I didn´t want to get close to anyone romantically.

Kayden was the only male I had allowed to get close to me, not romantically of course, but like a big brother who wanted to help me when I was down. But I couldn´t tell him either. I wouldn´t drag anyone into that dark deep hole I had dug myself into when I was 16.

Somehow over the years, I had managed to fill up that hole and forget for a moment what had happened. In those days everything was perfect, I enjoyed my job and laughed with my girlfriends at something silly. I didn´t need to worry about anything, not even my father.

But from time to time something triggered those memories back to the surface and they would haunt me at night making sleeping almost impossible. Ryker had unknowingly poked the buried hole in my mind and triggered the tsunami of memories causing them to crash down in my mind almost drowning me in despair. I had to get out of there before I would suffocate, away from the public place, away from him.

For whatever reason with Ryker, somehow without me even noticing he made me feel so safe, I wanted to tell him everything and I had to fight hard not to give in to that feeling. It was a treacherous feeling and I couldn´t afford to submit it. That bothered me because I just met the man. I didn´t know anything about him and I wanted to keep it that way.

“Care to tell me what happened back there?”

Ryker´s deep voice next to me snapped me back to the present and I could hear the strain in it like he was trying to control himself.

“Nothing.” My voice was a mere whisper. I wasn´t in the mood to talk or explain what was going on inside my head.

“That didn´t seem like nothing little archer. It is one thing to change your mind about something but what happened there was more than just changing your mind. Was it something I said? Because if it was, I need to know if I hurt you so I can apologize for what I said that upset you so much.” Ryker replied.

Lifting my right arm to rest on the door I bend it covering my mouth so I wouldn´t say anything accidentally and focused on staring into nothing. I didn´t owe this person a damn thing so I kept my mouth shut but apparently, my plan didn´t sit well with him.

“Don´t you dare clam up at me, Artemis. You clearly have an issue with something I did or said and I need to know about it.”

“I f*****g don´t wanna talk!” I huffed snapping my glare toward him hoping he would take the hint but it would seem I overestimated his skills for taking hints because the second that sentence left my mouth and I looked at him I was met with a fierce glare of his own.

“This is the way adults are supposed to solve problems, by talking about them so you better rethink your plan because this silent treatment doesn´t work with me. You don´t get to shut down completely all of the sudden and not tell me what is wrong.”

Gritting my teeth I turned my attention back to the window cursing every god in the universe for setting me up with the one male on this planet that had a talent for communication and wanted to talk about feelings especially when I didn´t want to share my feelings.

“Well?”

Closing my eyes I had to admit that the only way to get out of this situation and the car was to tell him something because he was a persistent bastard. I started wondering if he had a psychology degree.

“Why the hell do you even want to know? We´re not dating, we´re complete strangers to one another.” I couldn´t help but be snappy at him.

Ryker let out an exasperated exhale gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white and his brows furrowed causing wrinkles to his forehead while the tension of his jaw made me think he would break it. Whatever reason it was for him to feel this annoyed with me was beyond me and I didn´t particularly care but it still piqued my interest.

“Because I f*****g care!” he snarled suddenly hitting his fist onto the wheel making me jump and stare wide-eyed at him.

The silence that followed was overwhelming, neither of us saying anything. I blinked staring at him my mouth slightly open and he was glaring at the road ahead of us. Trying to make sense of his confession and failing miserably I couldn´t do anything but keep my eyes on him hoping he would break the silence and explain why he cared. Because it didn´t make sense to me why a stranger like him would care about what was going on in my mind.

“Why?” I asked quietly.

Ryker glanced at me, a look of confusion plastered on his face before he turned his attention back on the road shifting the gear while pressing the winker and turning the wheel using his palm. It got my attention for a moment and I couldn´t help but admire his hand, the long fingers adorned by three rings.

For heaven´s sake, not the time to discover I had a hand fetish.

“The moment I saw you for the first time I felt like there was something about you that called out to me. It sounds cliché I know but I can´t describe it in any other way that you would understand. I can see you´re hurting and it pains me to see that. If you only let me, I want to take at least a small portion of that pain away. I promise you can trust me.”

“Called out to you? What, I am your long lost soulmate or something?” I snorted although I was a little touched by his revelation. No one hasn´t talked to me like that, but it made me wonder if this was just a ploy to get into my pants. I was sceptical of his motives and decided to keep my guard up.

He glanced at me again with an expression I couldn't put my finger on but as soon as it appeared it was gone replaced by a small smile.

“Something like that I suppose,” he murmured so quietly I nearly missed it.

“Sorry to break it to you buddy but I don´t believe in soulmates, or love at first sight.”

“Why?”

“Because I don´t. My parents are a perfect sample of it. And my brother´s heart was broken into pieces because his girlfriend spite claiming to love him decided to cheat on him.”

“Just because it doesn´t work between some people it doesn´t mean love doesn´t exist at all. It needs work and effort but when you both commit to it, it is the best feeling in the world. There wouldn´t be anything you wouldn´t do for that person. You would sacrifice your life to protect them.“ Ryker´s tone softened and he smiled fondly while speaking and damn if it didn´t mess with my heart making it flip in my chest for a second.

Swallowing hard I focused on the window again. I did it again. Opening up to him when I decided to do the opposite of that. This guy was dangerous.

“So that is what you are afraid of?” His question got me off guard and I visibly stiffened holding my breath. What the actual f**k? How he had come to that conclusion so fast?

“What?” I asked sounding like a squeak toy for fuck´s sake. I closed my eyes when I heard him chuckle beside me.

"Let me see if I can guess it. Love. Trusting someone so completely and giving them your heart and soul, the mere thought terrifies you. That is why you clammed up back at the bar. You think if you start telling me about yourself it´s permission for me to start pursuing you although that is not what you want. Am I wrong?”

I wanted to scream yes, you are wrong but the truth was, he was right. Partly anyway. But I wasn´t going to say that. If he would settle for the reason of me being afraid of love, I would go with that, it meant he would stop pestering me with the subject.

“I suppose you´re not,” I admitted reluctantly avoiding his gaze.

“I get it. The thought of loving and trusting someone who won´t turn against you one day can be terrifying, but that is kind of the meaning of loving someone. It´s about trust and respect toward another person who shares life with you, possibly the rest of your life. Making that kind of commitment to work requires communication from both sides. It´s not always easy and sometimes it feels like it would be easier to just give up but if you´re willing to fight for it, the reward is much better.”

“You sound like you already have that kind of connection with someone,” I muttered wondering if the person Ryker loved this much is still alive. Or did she walk out on him in the end?

He chuckled again earning my focus to shift back at him. I blinked when I saw the hint of sadness in his eyes as he returned the gaze. So, she has left him. I knew it. Love was not forever and it sure wasn´t worth fighting for.

But his answer surprised me.

“No. I´m talking about my parents. They have that kind of connection and I wish I would experience it too one day.”

“How old are your parents?” The question slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to catch it and swallow it. f**k! You´re not here to get to know this guy.

Ryker smiled as he kept his gaze on the road.

“They are well over their sixties.”

“And they´re still together?”

“Yes. They got married in their early twenties and it had never even crossed their minds to leave one another. If they have issues or they´re angry, they work it out. Talking to each other.”

Licking my lips I turned my eyes to the road dumbfounded. If I was being honest I was surprised to hear that. Logically thinking it should have not surprised me that not every couple was like my parents, treating each other without love or respect. Hell, I´m sure my father didn´t even know the definition of the words. But still, I was sure I was better off on my own, relationships were too much of a hassle, too much work and I had better things to do than trying to prove to some guy I was a trustworthy and lovable person. No thank you.

“Sounds nice and all but that s**t ain´t for me,” I answered after a couple of minutes of silence.

“What makes you say so?” Ryker asked and there was a rough edge to his voice as if he was holding himself back and not quite succeeding.

“I´m a loner, always has been, always will be. I don´t want someone in my life, I don´t need anyone in my life telling me what to do or how to behave. I´m not a people pleaser. So let´s save both of us from future heartache and part ways now.”

“But…”

“But nothing! I am not your soulmate or your anything. Let´s just drop the conversation.” I finally had had enough and decided to end it before it got out of hand. I could feel Ryker going stiff next to me and the temperature dropped ice cold. I had definitely hurt his feelings but stayed quiet the rest of the drive.

The car turned into the parking lot of Kayden´s school and the second Ryker stopped the car I bolted out and nearly ran to my car unlocking the doors and sitting behind the wheel. I could hear Ryker reversing his car and driving away leaving me alone in the parking lot.

I leaned back, resting my head against the headrest, closing my eyes and taking a deep slow breath, trying to calm myself. Whatever happened in Ryker´s car left me a shaking mess because of the atmosphere. I have never felt such strong fury coming from a person before. Its aura almost choked me to death and I couldn´t get out of that car fast enough. He was more than pissed after what I had told him and I couldn´t figure out why Ryker would turn so angry. I was only been honest with him about how I felt about dating and relationships. Those things weren´t for me.

Trying to shake off the feeling of dread I started the car and reversed from the spot turning the wheel while planning on going home, taking a hot shower and treating myself with hot minty chocolate. It was late, the streets were quieting down so there was little to no traffic. Turning on the radio I listened to some music while driving toward my home but my mind wouldn´t shut up. It was a chaotic mess and I knew if I went home now I would stay up almost all night thinking about what happened and then I would turn my attention to the events of 9 years ago allowing myself to drown once again in the pit of utter despair. I didn´t want to return to that darkness. Not now or ever. I had fought hard to bury that memory deep enough so it wouldn´t resurface and yet, after only a few hours with Ryker and everything came hurling back.

“Fuck.” I cursed hitting the steering wheel while stopping at the traffic lights. Rubbing my eyes I thought about calling my best friend Cassie, if she would be up for some girl´s night but then thought better of it. She would want to know everything and get all excited learning I went out with a guy. I would have to tell her in detail what happened and what we talked about and I wasn´t in the mood for that.

Sighing I glanced at the time noticing it was a little past 10 pm. Chase´s school was still open, or more specific, his gym was open. I could blow some steam at my brother´s gym until I was exhausted enough to go home and crash to my bed.

When the lights turn green I headed toward Chase´s school hoping his friend and business partner Jaxon wasn´t present. He was about the same age as Chase but a pain in my ass every time I visited there. He flirted shamelessly with anything that had two legs and it was disgusting in my opinion. Chase had warned him not to try anything with me but Jaxon was the type of person to test the boundaries and patient more than once. When he was not flirting and acting like a total player, he was actually one of the smartest people I knew and that was the reason my brother suggested starting a business with him in the first place. He could sweet talk the sponsors to give them the money they needed and in less than a year the school they named Fight For Fitness was thriving thanks to Jaxon´s websites he put up piquing people´s interest.

My brother concentrated on teaching classes where he was in his element. Their dynamic worked beautifully and I was a little envious sometimes. Chase had joked about when I would get tired of working with Kayden I should come to his school and start teaching martial arts. Of course, I laughed it off every time. There was no way I would want to work under my brother. He understood my reasons and wasn´t offended, saying only that the offer stood if I ever felt I needed a change.

I couldn't help but smile at that memory. Chase always looked after me but also gave me my space knowing how independent I was. He was the best big brother I could ever have.

The silhouette of his school came into view and much to my relief I noticed Jaxon´s car wasn´t parked in the front as I drove into the parking lot. At least one thing was going my way. Shutting down the engine I took the keys, unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door stepping out of my car I looked around briefly. It was quiet. Humming pleased by that fact I closed the door, locked the car and started walking toward the front double glass doors when a car turned into the parking lot and I groaned out loud as I recognized the silver BMW sports car.

Damn Jaxon. Why he couldn´t stay wherever he was staying rather than come here at this hour. I needed alone time and now it was shot down like a deer in hunting season. Rather than waiting for him to get out of the car I rushed toward the school doors hoping he wouldn't come to find me later.

When I stepped through the hallway, I saw the large floor that opened behind the doors was filled with a black tatami mat where Chase taught kids and young adults martial arts. Warm memories filled my mind for a second as I remembered Chase giving me some lessons when I was frustrated or just feeling lonely. That was our thing, whenever one of us was feeling down, we would come here and spar together to get our minds off of whatever was bothering us. We still did it, just not so often now that I was busy with Kayden´s school but we tried to make time every weekend.

Smiling fondly I walked through the hall toward the office where I guessed Chase was doing some paperwork.

The quiet rustling of papers caught my ears as I came closer to the ajar door and muttered curses making me giggle under my breath. Paperwork never was Chase´s favourite but it had to be done. Pushing the door open I saw him sitting behind the desk brows furrowed in a deep scowl and his lips tightly pressed together while his jaw worked. Oh, he was more than irritated at something.

I leaned against the doorframe crossing my arms silently watching him a small smirk playing on my lips.

“You better watch it or you'll break your jaw the way you keep grinding it.” I chuckled.

Chase snapped his head up and his expression softened immediately when he saw me standing at the doorway.

“Arty!” he grinned dropping the papers on the desk. He stood and with a few long strides closed the distance engulfing me in a bear hug.

Laughter escaped me before I could catch myself and returning the hug I buried my face in his chest inhaling his scent and soothing my nerves.

“Something wrong?” he asked quietly while he rested his head on top of mine gently drawing circles at my back. Merely shaking my head and releasing him I stepped back with a smile.

“I just wanted to see my big brother and work off some steam at your gym. Do I need a specific reason to do that?”

Chase tilted his head a little looking at me but then shook his head with a smile.

“No, I was just surprised to see you today. I was expecting you on Saturday.”

“Well, something did happen this morning but let me go to the gym first before I tell you about it,” I muttered. He narrowed his gaze and silence fell between us for a minute before he finally broke it.

“Let me guess. Dad?”

“Yeah…dad.”

Chase sighed running a hand across his face and all that carefree attitude disappeared from him in seconds.

“Okay, go on. We´ll talk when you´re done.” He practically shooed me off and I couldn't help but laugh as I turned and walked toward the dressing rooms.

But before I could escape into the locker room Jaxon appeared around the corner making me nearly smack my face into his chest.

“Whoa, there little firefly! No need to jump on my bones like that, all you need to do is ask and I´m all yours.” Jaxon´s smug smirk played on his face while his eyes grew darker as he took in my appearance and I had to take a deep breath to not gag at the tone of his voice. It sounded a little too pompous to my ears like an old man trying to sweet-talk a young woman to spread their legs and let them be her sugar daddy.

Taking a step back I locked my gaze on his face trying to go with a not interested facial expression but it was so damn hard while he kept grinning at me like a bear getting its paw in a honey jar because I wanted nothing more than to punch that grin off of his face. I was slightly surprised his dirty blond, long hair wasn´t tied up like it usually was making him look more like a caveman than a teacher at the martial art school.

Jaxon was good looking guy don´t get me wrong, with his muscular tall frame and baby blue eyes combined with his million-dollar smile but his attitude was the main reason why I didn´t like him, at all. He tried to get into my pants every opportunity he could get and not even my brother´s warnings seemed to phase him. But I knew my brother. Sooner or later he was going to get his point across and Jaxon would have a reminder on his face what would happen when you angered my brother.

“Don´t flatter yourself Jaxon. You know damn well I´m not going to jump in bed with you, ever.” I huffed breaking the eye contact and sidestepped him attempting to reach the locker room but he stepped in front of me making me slowly lift my fiery glare to meet his lust burning gaze. Which apparently amused him for whatever reason.

“Aww don’t be like that. Never say never.” he chuckled bending down a little and lifting his hand but before he could touch my cheek I grabbed his wrist slamming it against the wall making him yelp in surprise as his eyes widened and jaw-dropping nearly to the floor the way his mouth opened.

“I mean it Jaxon. No means no, learn to accept it before someone seriously kicks your ass to the curve or worse, sends you to the morgue.” I growled icy glare fixed on his face while I tightened my grip on his wrist, making him winch a little.

“What´s going on?”

We both turned to look back at my brother who stood in the middle of the corridor his hands stuffed in his jean pockets as he took in the scene in front of him brows furrowed in a deep scowl.

“Nothing. I´m just reminding your friend what the word no means.” I spoke releasing Jaxon´s hand and walking around him disappearing around the corner but not fast enough as I was able to overhear Chase warning Jaxon once again.

“I thought I told you to keep your hands off of my sister, she´s off-limits.”

“Come on man, where´s the harm? I was just teasing her.”

“Stop f*****g teasing her and leave her alone!”

Smiling I finally reached the women´s locker room and stepping in I locked the door and went to my locker where I always kept extra clean clothes and my gym gear. Although I could take care of myself, it was always a happy moment when I realized no matter what I could trust my brother to have my back.

Humming I changed my clothes and headed to the gym to burn off some steam hoping it would lift my mood after the disaster that happened today.

Sometimes I wondered if the universe loved to f**k with my life just for the fun of it and see how long it would take for me to break.