Artamiel: The Black Angel

Chapter 2| Homecoming

"Artamiel!" 

My head snapped up. It was my mother. Heavy knocks on the door followed her deafening voice. 

"Artamiel Nikolai!" 

I groaned as I stood up. My body ached. I turned the shower off, then I stepped out of the shower room. I snatched a robe then I went out to open the door of my room. 

Before she could even notice my bruised knuckle, I hid it on my back. 

"I was on the shower," I started as her crumpled face greeted me. 

She shot her brow up. "I've been knocking for ten minutes. Nagising na 'yong mga kapitbahay, ikaw ngayon lang narinig? And why are you locking your door anyway?" she asked with irritation dripping on her tone.

I sighed in my head. "I'm sorry. I was thinking of something while on the shower," I reasoned out. 

She rolled her eyes on me. "Be ready in five minutes. We're going." Hinawi n'ya ako at pumasok na sa loob ng silid ko. 

I went back to the bathroom and let my mother do whatever she pleases. I took a quick shower. 

Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na ako dito. Nananakit ang katawan ko sa ngalay at namumuti ang balat ko sa pagkakababad sa tubig. I left the shower running while I curled myself in the corner of the shower room. 

After my quick bath, I found my mother packing my things. 

"God, Artamiel! I already told you to pack your things last week. Kung hindi mo kaya, sana sinabi mo agad sa akin. Manang-mana ka sa tatay mo," she ranted while fixing my things. 

A lazy smile curved on my lips. I walked towards her then wrapped my arms on her. I hugged her from behind then I placed my head on her shoulder. 

"Sorry, Mama," I murmured on her shoulder. "I love you," I gently said. 

She giggled then tapped my arm. I loosened my arms on her. She turned to face me then she caressed my face. 

"I love you, baby boy," she said in her sweet mother tone. 

Courtney Elaine Vergara, my mother, is a big mouth most of the time. She complains a lot, and always have a side comment on anything. But she's the best mother in the world. She's a nagger, and she loves to boss around, but she's compassionate and caring. She's sweet in her own way. 

She gave me a bear hug then kissed my forehead. 

"Ikaw, you always know how to get away," she pouted then pinched my nose. 

I gave her a toothy smile. "Ma, don't start your day with complaints," I grinned at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I started the day shouting at your father."

I chuckled then shook my head.

"Ako na po ang tatapos nito, Ma," I said then I gently pushed her towards the door.

After my mother left, I dressed up then I continued packing my things. 

Isasara ko na sana ang maleta ko nang mapatingin ako sa picture frame sa bedside table ko. 

I shut my eyes tightly then I drew a deep breath. I picked up the frame then I stared at it for a while. 

It's the little boy, who saved his life because he got a pretty face. 

"Miel!" 

My mother's voice snapped me out of the trance. 

I placed the frame back to the table then I zipped my luggage. I went out of the room with my bubbly mask on. As I closed the door behind me, I prepared a smile for my family. 

I found them on the living room. Mama's busy checking if everything were settled. Papa's busy feeding my two-year old brother, while my sister Casey's on her phone. 

As Mama saw me descending the stairs, she announced that we're going. I went straight to the front door.

"Here," Ate Casey handed me a container. She gave me a wide smile. "Nutella and banana," she winked. 

I returned her smile. "I so love you, Ate," I chuckled. 

She gave me a smug smile. "You'll love me even more with this," she proudly said then lifted a bottle of mango smoothie. 

"You're really the best," I kissed her cheek. 

She tapped my back. "Of course," she giggled.

I volunteered to carry one of her three big luggage. 

Girls! And their hobby of bringing too many things on their trips. 

"Ate, dala mo ba ang buong kwarto mo?" I teased her.

She flipped her hair. "That's just quarter of my closet."

I shook my head as I proceed to the van waiting for us. I came back for her other things after I deposited the loads on the compartment. 

I ate the sandwiches Ate prepared while we're on our way. 

"I already chatted Skipper that we're on our way to the terminal. I'm so excited!" Ate beamed while tapping on her phone. 

I looked out the window and watched the busy street we're passing by. 

I can't share the same emotion with them. I don't feel excited. I am actually feeling anxious. 

After eight years of running away, this dreaded day caught up with me. It's time for me to face the ghost of the past. 

"Miel?" Mama gently called. 

I turned my head to face her. My practiced smile ready to comfort her. 

We're going back to the Philippines. After eight years, we're going back. 

They decided to go back, because they thought that I'm alright. That I'm over it. That I conquered my fears. 

And I don't have the heart to tell the truth. That I am still here, stuck with my fears. 

They sacrificed enough. They sacrificed long enough. 

Our home was there. Our family were there. We belong there. 

And no matter where I go. No matter where I run into, they can chase me. And the right thing to do is to face them. I have to face my demons. 

"Are you sure, Artamiel? That it's fine to go home?" Mama gently asked.

I grinned at her. "Yes, Mama. I'm thrilled to meet my cousins."

She stared at me for some moment before she gave away a warm smile. 

"You'll love it there!" Casey giddily said then clutched my arm tightly. She's obviously excited on this homecoming. 

I hope so, Casey. 

I let my eyes wander around the living room of the V mansion. 

We used to live here, but I can barely remember how it looks like. Everything were unfamiliar to me. I feel so estranged on this place. 

"I had the rooms ready for all of you. I assumed that you'll take your used to be rooms," Dada Nate informed us after asking about our flight. He's my father's older brother. 

"Thank you, Kuya," Papa smiled at his brother. 

"Magpahinga na muna kayo. Inihahanda pa ang tanghalian. Ipapatawag ko na lang kayo kapag kakain na," Dada decided then ordered the helpers to bring our things on our respective rooms. 

"Where's Nixon by the way?" Mama asked.

"He's out with Kipp and Ram. Nag-basketball yata," Dada answered. "Neil and Cleo will be here just in time for lunch."

Dahil dadating kami, lumuwas din dito ang pamilya nila Tatay Neil, my Papa's younger brother. They're living at Masbate, in their hacienda. 

It's a little family reunion for us. Dada wanted everyone to be here. 

During our stay in Canada, Tatay Neil's family visited us yearly. Dada Nate and Nixon were paying visits every three months. 

"Miel, do you want to stay in the same room?" Ate asked while we're climbing the stairs. "We can share."

I smiled at her. "I'm fine, Ate. I can manage, don't worry," I assured her. 

She smiled at me then nodded. 

Mama pointed the farthest door on the right hall of the second floor. I went inside the room. 

It's double the size of my room at Canada. It's like a premium room of a luxury hotel, with gray color scheme. I found my luggage near a door, which I think was the closet. 

Mama said we'll just shop for new clothes tomorrow. 

I went inside the bathroom to take a quick shower. The racks were filled with the essentials, and the cabinet were stacked with fresh towels and robes. Mukhang naipahanda na talaga ni Dada ang lahat. 

After my quick bath, I dressed up in a simple cotton shorts and white v-neck shirt. I went outside my room then toured myself in the mansion. And I entertained myself with the aesthetic beauty of the place. It's simpler compared to other mansions, but it still screams elegance. 

I was checking the books on the library when my phone rang.

(Where are you, Miel?) Mama asked from the other line. 

"Library," I replied then begun walking towards the wooden doors.

(Bumaba ka na sa dining, nakahanda na ang hapag,) she ended the call.

Habang pababa ng hagdan ay nakasabay ko ang pinsan ko na si Nixon. 

"Welcome home," he said with a serious face. 

I smiled at him. "Thanks."

Nixon has been like that since I first saw him. He's always serious and cold. He acts more mature than his age. Mas mature pa nga s'ya compared to Ate Casey and Kuya Kipp. 

Honestly, I want to be like him. I want to shut the world around me. I want to keep myself on my own bubble, where no one can hurt me. 

But I can't do that. I don't want to worry my Mama. I don't want them to think about me all the time. Ayoko na palagi nilang iisipin ang kapakanan ko. I don't want to be selfish. 

Nixon's like that because he grew up without a mother. It was his nature. May galit s'ya sa mundo. 

Mayroon akong trauma, pero lahat ng suporta ay nakukuha ko sa pamilya ko. Kaya kung magiging katulad n'ya ako, madami ang mag-aalala sa akin. Una na si Mama. 

No matter how much I wanted to be like him, to keep myself secured inside my walls, I can't. I have to wear this mask of a happy, appreciative, warm and friendly boy so that I won't worry others about me. 

At kapag nakikita nila na ayos ako, hindi nila ako palaging tatanungin kung maayos ba ako, o kung may gusto ba ako, o kung kumportable ba ako. If they can see that I am fine, that I was back to normal before I was abducted, they'll leave me alone. They won't bug me. 

"You don't have to pretend when you're with me," Nixon said while looking straight through my eyes. 

I was appalled by his words. It made me halt from descending the stairs. 

Huminto din si Nixon at mas hinarap pa ako. His pair of dark orbs bore into mine, as if he's reading my soul. 

"It takes one to know one," he said. "If you don't feel like smiling, then don't. I won't be comforting you if that's what you're worrying of. I don't care if you have cynical view of this world. I can understand that some wounds might heal, but the scar was deep-rooted that it could never be forgotten. I'm not as shallow as them. I won't force you to be fine if you don't feel like being fine."

I gawked at him. His words did some clench on my gut. 

He shrugged his shoulders then proceeded on going downstairs. 

I balled my hands into fists. 

I wish I could be like him. I wish I could be as genuine and as honest as him. 

But he doesn't have a mother who will worry for him. 

I have my Mama, who will surely cry a river if she found out that I was damaged beyond repair. 

Because no matter how hard we tried. No matter how hard I try, I can never be the same. I can never be cured. 

That incident changed me. That incident wrecked me. 

"Is it fine if I stay here?" I asked Nixon after he opened the door of his room.

He stared at me for a while before he turned his back on me, leaving his door open. 

I went inside his room. We got identical rooms. Ang pinagkaiba lang ay ang mga personal na gamit. 

And since that day, I'm always hanging out in his room.

"Nixon, why are you not applying for higher grade?" I asked one afternoon while I'm doing my homework on his room. He's sitting beside his huge window, reading a book, while I was on my stomach at his bed. 

We're classmates. Grade nine na kami ngayon at alam ko na kung gugustuhin ni Nixon, he can be on the senior level. He's not even studying, but he's the top student. 

"Your mother will nag me," he replied.

Napangiwi ako. Simula nang bumalik kami dito sa Pilipinas, ipinilit na ni Mama ang sarili n'ya na maging mother figure kay Nixon. She's worried of Nixon's behavior, so she gave him equal attention. At hindi 'yon nagugustuhan ni Nixon. 

Binalikan ko na lang ang ginagawa ko na assignment. I wish I am as smart as my cousin. 

Nixon said that he's not a genius. Sadyang wala lang s'yang ibang mapaglibangan kundi ang magbasa at mag-aral. He's always ten steps ahead. Tulad ngayon, he's studying probability samantalang geometry pa lang kami sa school.

Nang matapos ako sa ginagawa ko ay niyaya ko si Nixon na lumabas. Gusto ko kasi na tumakbo paikot sa village. Sinabi n'ya na tatapusin n'ya lang ang chapter na binabasa n'ya. 

Iniwan ko na muna s'ya sa kuwarto n'ya para makapagpalit ako ng pantakbo. Nang balikan ko s'ya ay nagbibihis na din naman s'ya. 

When I first asked him to run with me, he declined in a heartbeat. But when I told him that I am always afraid to be on my own, he accompanied me. And I found myself opening my wounds to him. 

'Yong hirap na hirap akong sabihin sa psychiatrists ko, walang kahirap-hirap na nasabi ko sa kanya habang tumatakbo kami. I trust him enough. Because he can understand me. He never judged me. He simply listened. 

However, I left some details unsaid. Those parts that I wish I can forget, but still haunts me on my sleep. 

We did some stretching before we run. 

"Nix, why do you hate the world?" I asked him while running. 

Palagi ko namang tinatanong 'yon sa kanya. Iba-iba nga lang ang sagot n'ya. Depende sa mood n'ya.

"I don't hate it," he replied. Bahagyang hinihingal na s'ya. "I just don't find anything good it did to me."

It made me smirk. "I don't hate the world," I started. "I simply hate some people living on it."

He snickered. "You're too f****d up."

"Hey! We're only fourteen!" I chuckled. 

"Who the f**k cares?" he replied. "I can f*****g say whatever I f*****g want to say."

I laughed. "What happened?"

He stopped running, I halted with him. We placed our hands on our knees. 

"Why are you pissed?" I asked, panting.

His eyes darkened even more. He's seriously pissed. 

"Your mother happened," he rolled his eyes.

Mas natawa ako. I wonder kung saan na naman nag-marunong si Mama sa buhay ni Nixon. She never accepted that this boy despised being boss around. 

I shook my head then tapped his shoulder. "Let's run back. Baka hinahanap ka na ng nanay mo," mapang-asar na sabi ko.

Umingos s'ya at tumayo nang tuwid. "If ever she's my mother, I'll disown her. She's too nosy."

I laughed hard. Mama's the only one who can bring out the kid in Nixon. He's always immature and his cold facade crumbled down whenever it's about Mama and her crazy antics. 

When we got back to the V mansion, we found Ate on the kitchen, baking something.

"Is that for your boyfriend?" I asked with a playful smirk.

She instantly blushed at my question. "He's not my boyfriend!" she exclaimed then looked around. She sighed then pouted her lips. "Not yet," she added in a sad tone.

I chuckled then tapped her shoulder. 

She turned eighteen few days ago, pero hindi pa s'ya pinapayagan ni Papa na sagutin si Kuya Tristan. 

"It's just a label. Ang arte mo," Nixon commented after getting a pitcher on the fridge. 

I bit my lip. I don't want to offend Casey, the way Nixon always did.

"What do you know?" Ate Casey rolled her eyes then went back on mixing the chocolate batter. 

Nixon and I sat on the stool at the kitchen island. We're simply watching Ate Casey move around the kitchen. 

"I think you're doing it wrong," Nixon grinned. 

Ate snapped her head on our direction. "I watched it on YouTube!" she hissed.

Nixon boastfully laughed. "I've read it somewhere. That you have to take it out of the fire from time to time," he raised a brow. "Not everything you watch can be trusted. Only no-brainers will follow an instruction without verifying the source."

"Not everything you read were legit!" Ate hissed.

Nixon's lips rose on an insulting smirk. "It was a book written by a top chocolatier from France." 

Halos ma-imagine ko na ang usok sa ilong at tainga ni Ate habang gigil na nakatingin sa pinsan namin. 

Siguro, kay Ate bumabawi 'to si Nixon sa lahat ng inis n'ya kay Mama. 

And just like that, Nixon Gareth was back to his usual self.