Chapter Nine
2280 Words
Chapter Nine
The shifting sound of someone adding more wood to the fire woke her. Lucretia cracked her eyes open. It was a young black woman, not Cassandra, darker and much more petite. Lucretia pulled herself out of the blankets a little further. There was a large kettle of water hanging over the blaze. A basin and pitcher had been placed on the wash stand by the window along with a clean face cloth and towel.
“Hello,” Lucy said when the girl looked up and saw herself being watched.
She answered with a smile.
“I’m Lucy,” Lucretia whispered. “What’s your name?”
The girl shook her head and put her one hand over her mouth and then touched her ears. She touched her lips again and shook her head a second time. “You cannot speak? You’re a mute?” The girl nodded.
Turning her back to Lucy and ending their exchange, the girl finished her chore and tip-toed from the room. Lucretia was supposed to wait for Cassandra, but she was no longer tired and it was clear the rest of the household was coming to life around her.
“You could have come into bed with your Master. That would have pleased him a great deal.” His words rose to the surface.
She could tell by his breathing he was sleeping still. On soft feet she moved to the side of his bed, closer to him. She studied the curve of his jaw under the goatee and the way his hair was now mussed and out of place. One of his hands was visible and this, too, she stared at and memorized. How desperately she wanted to lean over and kiss him again.
The door clicked open and Lucretia took a startled step back from the bed. It was Cassandra. She motioned for Lucretia to come away and join her at the door.
“Master Beau has a preacher come on Sunday if you want to go,” she said softly.
“Doesn’t he go?” She glanced over at the doctor.
Cassy’s smiled broadened, “No, Master Beau prides himself in being a true heathen.”
“Oh,” Lucy frowned. “I haven’t any clothes to wear.”
“You can wear your chemise and drawers for church.”
It wasn’t right. “What do I have to do if I don’t go?”
“Wait here if you like. Wash up. Tidy your bed,” Cassandra said. “It’s Sunday and Master Beau doesn’t have us do too much on Sundays. Just what really needs to be done like the cooking and washing up.”
“I would rather stay here than go to church in nothing but my undergarments. I can pray by myself. Is there a Bible I can use? And Cass, I need to use the chamber pot, but…”
“The pot is under the bed. Take it to the other room if you want. I’ll fetch you a Bible.”
After Cassy left for the second time, Lucy made quick work of her toilet, washed her face and hands, and brushed her hair out as best she could with her fingers. She wished she had something to tie it back with, but had noticed very few of the women here wore their hair pulled back as was the fashion. No sooner had she settled herself down to reading when the doctor rolled to his side and opened his eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes Lucretia had ever seen.
“Come here and kiss me, slave.”
Her heart skipped in her chest and the warm flush rose to her cheeks again. Lucy set aside the Bible and went to stand in the very same spot she’d occupied earlier. “Like before?”
He nodded. “Just like before.”
Lucretia leaned over and kissed him. His hand reached up and grasped one of her dangling breasts and held her there, lips to his. She immediately tried to pull back, but the grip was firm. Lucy grabbed his wrist and twisted with a stubborn tug, yanking him free. Why did he have to ruin it like that? “Don’t touch me like that,” she scowled and backed away.
“Spread your legs for me.”
“No.”
His expression darkened. “What did we talk about last night?”
“My not being spoiled, but...”
“Exactly,” he interrupted and sat up. “Now, spread your legs.”
She didn’t want to look at him anymore. The fear and loathing was back, but she didn’t dare disobey, not after the punishment she’d gotten. Lucy closed her eyes, “I hate you,” she said, as she planted her feet just a little bit further apart.
He did just as she knew he was going to do, put his fingers into her private places. “Very nice. Just the way I like my slaves to be, wet.” His hand slid away. “Bring me some coffee, my pet, and whatever they have made us for breakfast.”
Lucy trembled with humiliation, but forced back the sharp retort that danced on the tip of her tongue. Instead she said, “I was going to read…”
“Yes, I know, your Bible. You are permitted that after you have brought me coffee and breakfast. Go on now.”
Her jaw tensed even more. “Yes, sir,” passed through her lips between clenched teeth.
Lucretia turned her back on the foulest man she could ever imagine and left the room. Now was her chance to run away. She closed the door of his bedroom and stood in the hallway a moment to calm herself. All was quiet. Everyone who went to church was there. It was perfect. No one would stop her. No one! Lucy raced to the head of the stairs and looked down. How could such a beautiful home house such a disgusting person as Dr. Addams? From here she could smell food cooking and hear the sounds from the kitchen. How did she get to the kitchen? Or was she supposed to go to the dining room?
Run away, Lucretia. Run away! Her mind told her.
As one hand held the railing, the other moved to the heavy collar around her neck. Reality slapped her hard. She’d not get past the front gate and once out how far would she go before being caught and returned here and punished again? Her naked vulnerability came crashing down along with the hopelessness of her situation.
Her bare feet were silent on the steps and the door to the dining room was open. No one was there. Another door, just to the left of the sideboard, must lead into the kitchen. Lucy lingered just on the other side of it, listening. Someone was certainly in there working. Timidly, Lucretia pushed on the door and stepped into the warm and sumptuous smelling world beyond.
The same woman who had brought Lucretia the biscuits and water when she’d been chained to the foot of the stairs now stood at a huge, woodstove stirring something in a huge pot. She looked up and smiled, “Good morning, Miss Lucy. Here for the Master’s breakfast?”
“Yes.”
“I have it here, ready for ya’ll. Careful now, the coffee is real hot.” She handed Lucy a silver tray heavy with food. “Massa Beau will have the door open for ya when you get back to his room. Watch yourself on the stairs.” Lucretia felt practically pushed from the room.
The tray was incredibly heavy for her and she had to pause at the top of the stairs to rest it on the railing. The door to the doctor’s room stood open and waiting. Morning sun shone through the lace-covered windows and he was patting his face dry with the same towel she had used earlier. Oh, why must he be so attractive? Lucretia heaved the breakfast tray onto the waiting table. Dr. Addams seated himself and indicated the chair opposite. “Pour my coffee and some for yourself, if you wish, then you may go and read your Bible.”
She’d lost interest in that now. She was hungry and wanted to sit with him and eat breakfast. “If I may, I’d like to eat with you, sir.”
His eyebrows shot up, “Oh, would you?” He pursed his lips in thought. “What if I told you I don’t think you need to have breakfast yet?”
“I’m very hungry though, sir.”
“Of course, you’re hungry. But I’m Master and I say if you eat or not, don’t I?”
Lucretia took a deep breath, desperately trying to hold in her temper. He was pushing her on purpose just to see if she’d push back. She held her head up higher and looked him in the eye. “Then I suppose I shall just serve you your coffee and some for myself and go back to reading the Scripture as I had started to earlier.”
“Yes, you could do that.” Oh, how she hated that pompous look on his face.
He was waiting for her to protest or do something other than what he’d already told her she was permitted to do. “Then I shall.”
Lucy poured his coffee first and handed it to him with a smug smile of her own. She filled her cup then turned away and returned to the chair near the window where she had been when he’d first opened his eyes. She knew he was smiling, but refused to look at him. The Bible was snapped open to no particular page whatsoever and Lucretia began to read silently to herself, sipping her coffee every so often.
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him watching her before turning his attention to the tray she’d brought. He selected a muffin along with several slices of bacon and an orange, always a nice treat this time of year. “Did Cassy come to tell you about church?”
“She told me,” Lucretia never took her eyes from the page.
“Didn’t want to go?”
“Not in my chemise and drawers, no.”
“You didn’t have to wear them.”
She glared at him, “No, I’m sure I could have gone naked just as well.”
“Mm-hm,” he sipped at his coffee, the corners of his mouth flickering up.
“Actually,” she began, forcing herself to remain aloof, “I thought I’d go with Cassandra to her service.”
He coughed into his coffee and quickly set the cup down. “You didn’t.”
“I did.” Lucretia set the Bible down in her lap with cold sobriety.
“What stopped you?” the doctor wiped his mouth.
“You did.”
Dr. Addams leaned back in his chair, considering her, “How did I do that?”
“You would have punished me had I gone, correct?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“Maybe,” he repeated. “That’s the beauty of it, Lucy. You never know what I’m going to do, do you? If I wanted, I could punish you now for your attitude alone. And we both know you have an attitude at the moment. Does it need adjustment?”
She scowled, “No, sir.”
“Good. I’d hate to have to punish you so early in the day. You may come and get something to eat if you wish.” He motioned her over and nodded to the chair. “So, you didn’t go because you didn’t want to be punished, yet you continue to act like you want to be.”
“I brought your breakfast as you wished. What more do you want?”
He grabbed her arm, making her drop the muffin she’d just picked up. “I want that mouth of yours to think before it speaks. You have a brain, Miss Borgia; I suggest you start using it.”
Fear and rage and all the vile emotions she felt for him screamed to the surface, “I hate you, you know?” she seethed without shouting.
He closed his eyes and drew in a slow breath. “Get out of my room. You disgust me.” When he opened his eyes, Lucy had gone numb. He was on his feet instantly. “I told you to get out.”
Instead of slapping him across the face, Lucretia grabbed another muffin before he could stop her and ran from the room. Her stomach was in a knot. She didn’t know where to run to. It had been so perfect last night. She had felt so safe and, yes, almost happy. Lucy burst out the side door and stood in the cold, October morning. The first thing her eyes landed on was the stable. She would go there and hide in the hayloft as she had when she was a girl. No one had ever looked for her. Nobody had cared when she ran off. Lucretia feared that nobody cared now either.
Had it been any other day, the stable would have been occupied, but today it was quiet and empty like most every place else. She climbed the first ladder she found and threw herself into the sweet smelling hay. It poked and scratched at her bare skin, but she didn’t care. Lucretia wanted to die. It was better to die than be forced to live like this. She was tired of crying and fighting and feeling hatred for her uncontrollable temper.
Sunlight streamed through the cracks in the boards and dust swirls danced around in that light. She hated how he spoke to her and she hated how sometimes he was so damn right about how she was feeling inside. He spoke the truth and didn’t hide it from her or try to make it seem less hurtful. It was simply the truth, plain and simple. Worst of all was the horrible realization that she had actually liked some of the things he’d done. It wasn’t that she hated when he touched her, it was that she hated that she liked it so much.
The ladder squeaked. “Lucy, we need to talk.” It was Dr. Addams.
“So you can tell me what to do?” Here came the anger again.
He climbed into the loft and settled down beside her. “Church will be over soon and this solitude we have been given will be gone for the rest of the week. We talk now or we continue on this insane ride for the next six months.”
She was quiet for a while as the tears built again. “Do I really disgust you?”
“Only as much as you hate me.”
Lucy couldn’t bring herself to reply.
- Writer
