Chapter 6
1151 Words
Kearan
I didn't know what madness had taken hold of me. One moment, I was calm, cold, detached, exactly as I had trained myself to be. The next, my hand was around the guard's throat, my body pressed forward with a violence that felt too easy. Too familiar.
I had wanted to kill him. The thought came without warning. Like instinct. And then something stopped me.
A voice. Low. Deep. Buried somewhere I had long believed was dead.
My grip loosened before I even realized it. My fingers trembled as if they no longer belonged to me. The guard fell, gasping, scrambling away like prey spared at the last second.
I stood there, chest rising too fast, my head pounding. The dark ache beneath my skin pulsed, veins burning, shifting, crawling like something alive.
That voice hadn't been mine.
It couldn't have been. I had lost my wolf years ago lost the right to feel restraint, to feel balance. That was what the healers said. What the court whispered. What my brother avoided saying aloud.
And yet... something had spoken.
I turned away from the door as it slammed shut behind the fleeing guard. My hands shook as I dragged them through my hair, fingers catching in the long strands I hadn't bothered cutting in years.
Who was he?
Yesterday, he had bumped into me without fear. No pain. No recoil. Today, he had walked into my chambers with lies on his tongue and fire in his eyes, speaking of attacks I knew nothing about.
That was no coincidence.
I sank onto the edge of my bed, breathing hard, my head dropping forward. Something had fallen during the struggle a chair, maybe. I hadn't noticed. I rarely noticed things anymore.
The door opened. I didn't look up. Only one person entered my chambers without permission.
"My prince," Nanny Rhosyn said softly.
I closed my eyes. She moved slowly. I heard her pause, the hitch in her breath as she took in the room the overturned chair. "What happened in here?" she asked gently.
"Nothing," I said.
My voice sounded rough even to me.
She didn't argue. She never did. Instead, she came closer and sat beside me on the bed, just as she had when I was a child waking from nightmares I refused to name.
"I heard something fall," she said. "I thought perhaps your pain—"
"It wasn't that."
My hand lifted to my hair again, gripping it at the roots as if grounding myself. Rhosyn watched me the way she always had with quiet knowing, with worry she tried to hide.
"I sent the maids to prepare your bed last night," she said after a moment. "You left the celebration early. His Majesty noticed."
Of course he did.
"I wasn't needed," I replied. "Rhyland handles such things well."
She studied me. "You cannot stay locked away forever, Kearan."
I gave a short laugh. "I think the kingdom prefers it that way."
She reached out and placed her hand over mine. Warm. Steady. Real.
"Come outside," she said. "Just for a while. Fresh air."
I wanted to refuse. I always did.
"I don't want anyone to see me like this."
"You are covered," she said firmly. "And I'll assign guards."
I hesitated. Then nodded.
I dressed in silence, pulling on dark layers, the cloak settling over my shoulders like armor. When I stepped into the corridor, two guards fell into place behind me.
I didn't look at them. I never did.
Until one of them lifted his head. Our eyes met. It was the guard Aler or whatever his name was. Fear flashed across his face. His body stiffened like he expected my hand at his throat again.
I said nothing. Neither did he. I turned away and walked on.
The private gardens were quiet, shielded from the noise of the palace. I lowered myself onto a cold stone bench and tilted my head back, staring at the pale afternoon sky.
I wondered briefly, uselessly what my life might have been if I had been whole.
If I had been healthy. If my wolf had never been taken. If my name wasn't spoken with caution and curse-bound pity.
If only he knew what death was, the guard had said.
I let out a slow breath. If only he knew how often I begged for it.
Footsteps approached . Familiar.
"Kearan," my brother's voice came through, smooth as ever. "Out in the sun? How rare."
I turned my head at last. Rhyland stood a few steps away, dressed in finery meant for admiration. His expression carried the same practiced concern it always did the kind that never reached his eyes.
"You shouldn't strain yourself," he added lightly. "We wouldn't want your condition worsening."
I said nothing. And that, I knew, pleased him most. Rhyland stepped closer, his shadow falling over me and laid a hand lightly on my shoulder.
"Look at you, sitting out here and missing all the fun. Did your little... episode... keep you from seeing the celebration last night?"
I didn't respond. My jaw tightened, veins pulsing beneath my skin. If there was one thing I know is Rhyland never miss the opportunity to mock me about my curse. He just make sure he said it In a nice way.
Rhyland and I don't have a strained relationship neither do we have a good relationship. I would say we are just living in our own world.
Rhyland chuckled softly, shaking his head, almost like he was sharing a private joke with the garden itself. "I've been gluing my wife to my side all night, entertaining the nobles, managing the kingdom, and you... you didn't even stir. Did the curse trigger, or were you just sleeping through it all?"
"No," I muttered quietly.
"Ah," he said, tilting his head as if analyzing me. "That's why I don't want you troubling yourself with the celebration. I handled everything. All of it. Perfectly."
There was a pause, a silent space where I might have asked about the attack the one the guard had mentioned but my strength wasn't there. My voice felt distant, heavy, as if it belonged to someone else. So I stayed silent, letting the words remain unspoken.
He squeezed my shoulder and nodded. "See you some other time, little brother."
And just like that, he was gone. The echo of his boots faded across the garden path, leaving the warmth of his hand lingering against my skin.
I remained frozen for a moment, mind racing. Then, almost instinctively, my gaze lifted and met the guard's
He was standing at the edge of the garden, with the other guard fully aware of what transpired between my brother and I. His eyes were wide with something I couldn't read fear? Curiosity? And somewhere deep beneath the curse and the anger, something unbidden stirred in my chest.
A challenge.
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