Chapter 5
1984 Words
“Say it again.”
Lucian Blackthorn stood rigidly before Mara Everwyn, every muscle in his body drawn tight. His face was carved from stone, but the fury burning in his dark eyes was impossible to miss.
Mara swallowed.
“You said I am your mate.”
“I know what I said.”
“Then why do you look at me like that?”
“Because I don’t want it.”
The words struck harder than she expected. Her eyes lowered.
“Neither do I.”
Lucian’s jaw clenched.
“You should be happy.”
“Happy?”
“Yes.” His voice sharpened. “Isn’t this what fate wanted? Isn’t this the grand design you hid behind for nine hundred years?”
“I don’t know what fate wants.”
“But it chose you.”
Mara looked at him quietly.
“And you hate that.”
“I hate that it chose you.”
The words hung between them like a blade.
Mara pressed a hand against her chest.
“I spent nine hundred years hiding from you.”
“And I spent nine hundred years looking for you.”
“I know.”
His eyes flashed.
“You knew?”
“I knew you would never forget.”
Lucian stared at her, disbelief twisting into anger.
“You were certain?”
“Yes.”
“Then you knew I would come?”
“Yes.”
“And still you stayed here?”
“I had nowhere else to go.”
“You could have faced me.”
“I was afraid.”
“Of me?”
“Yes.”
His expression hardened.
“You should have been.”
“I know.”
“Stop saying that.” His voice cracked through the room. “You keep saying you know as if that absolves you. As if understanding my pain means you had any right to cause it.”
Mara flinched.
Lucian turned away, breathing slowly, but the effort did nothing to calm him. His wolf strained toward her, furious at the distance, furious at the hatred, furious at the fact that the woman he had hunted for centuries was finally within reach.
“This makes no sense.”
Mara’s voice was soft.
“It doesn’t have to.”
“It does to me.”
“Why?”
“Because you are the woman I spent nine hundred years trying to find.”
“And now you have found me.”
“Yes.” He turned back to her. “And I find out you were here all along. Hiding. Watching me tear apart everything I had left searching for you.”
Mara’s fingers curled against her dress.
“I never wanted you to suffer.”
“You never wanted to face what you had done.”
Her face tightened.
“I never wanted to be your enemy.”
“But you were.”
“I know.”
His eyes blazed.
“Again.”
Mara fell silent.
Lucian stepped closer, his anger rolling off him in waves.
“I spent centuries believing you destroyed my family. I carried that hatred through every kingdom, every war, every grave. I searched for you until I could no longer remember who I was before the search.”
“I know.”
“Don’t.” His voice dropped into a dangerous growl. “Do not stand there and tell me you know what I lost.”
“Maybe I do.”
“You don’t.”
“Then tell me.”
He went silent, his fists tightening at his sides.
Mara’s voice softened.
“Tell me what you wanted from me.”
“I wanted answers.”
“And now?”
“I still want them.”
“But you also have this.”
She touched her chest again.
“The bond.”
Lucian’s expression twisted with disgust.
“Don’t call it that.”
“What should I call it?”
“Nothing.”
“We can’t call it nothing.”
“Why not?”
“Because we both feel it.”
His gaze snapped to hers.
“Do you think feeling it makes it sacred? Do you think some invisible thread gives fate the right to decide what I am to you?”
“No.”
“Then stop looking at me as if this changes everything.”
“It changes something.”
“It changes nothing.” His voice rose. “You are still the woman I blamed. You are still the woman who ran while I searched. You are still the reason I spent nine hundred years drowning in rage.”
Mara’s eyes filled with emotion.
“I never wanted this.”
“Neither did I.”
“I never wanted to be your enemy.”
“But you were.”
She lowered her gaze.
“I know.”
Lucian’s breathing grew heavier.
“Stop saying that!”
She looked up, startled.
“What?”
“That you know.” He pointed at her, his control fraying. “Every time you say it, it sounds like you understand what I lost. You don’t get to claim my pain just because you finally decided to stand in front of me.”
“Then tell me.”
His anger faltered for half a second, but only half.
“I wanted my family back,” he said bitterly. “I wanted the truth. I wanted someone to answer for the blood that was spilled.”
“And now you have me.”
“Yes.” His eyes dragged over her face. “And you became the one person I was never supposed to find this way.”
Mara’s lips trembled.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
“But you did.”
“I was afraid.”
“You should have been afraid of what your silence would make me.”
She looked away.
Lucian watched her, his fury still burning.
“You hid for nine hundred years.”
“Yes.”
“You let me believe you were dead.”
“Yes.”
“You let me believe you had destroyed everything I loved.”
“I didn’t know how to stop it.”
“You could have come to me!”
“I thought you would kill me.”
“Maybe I would have!” he roared. “Maybe you deserved to fear me!”
The silence that followed was brutal.
Mara’s breath shook.
Lucian’s face tightened as if he regretted the words, but he did not take them back.
The bond pulled between them, hot and merciless. His wolf demanded that he cross the distance, claim her, protect her. His mind answered with memories of ashes, blood, and nine centuries of grief.
Mara watched him carefully.
“You feel it right now.”
“Yes.”
“So do I.”
“Then fight it.”
“I am.”
“Not hard enough.”
Her eyes flashed with hurt.
“You think this is easy for me?”
“I think you’ve had nine hundred years to prepare for this moment.”
“I spent nine hundred years terrified of it.”
“And I spent nine hundred years praying for it.”
Her expression faltered.
Lucian’s voice turned raw.
“Do you understand what that did to me? Every time I thought I was close, I found another lie. Another empty trail. Another reason to believe you had chosen to abandon me.”
“I never chose to abandon you.”
“You chose not to return.”
“I was trying to survive.”
“So was I!”
His shout echoed through the room.
Mara pressed her hand harder against her chest.
“Does that change how you feel about me?”
Lucian looked at her.
“No.”
Her face fell slightly.
“You still hate me.”
“Yes.”
“And yet…”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t try to make this into something it isn’t.”
“I wasn’t.”
“You were.” He stepped closer, his voice low and cutting. “You felt the bond and thought it might soften me. It won’t. Fate can chain me to you, but it cannot erase what happened.”
Mara nodded slowly.
“All right.”
Lucian stared at her.
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It isn’t.”
“Then why are you so calm?”
“I am not calm.” Her voice trembled. “I am trying not to fall apart in front of the man who spent nine hundred years wanting me dead.”
His expression shifted, but the anger remained.
“I never said I wanted you dead.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“You should have faced me sooner.”
“Maybe.”
“You should have trusted me.”
“You hate me.”
“That doesn’t mean I would have killed you.”
“It means I had no reason to believe you wouldn’t.”
Lucian’s eyes narrowed.
“You think I would hurt you?”
Mara hesitated.
“I don’t know what you would do.”
He looked away, his mouth twisting.
“That makes two of us.”
Mara’s voice became barely more than a whisper.
“What happens now?”
Lucian did not answer.
She waited.
“Lucian?”
He finally looked at her.
“I don’t know.”
The admission seemed to anger him more than anything else. His hand dragged through his hair, and he turned away as if he could escape the bond by refusing to look at her.
“For nine hundred years, I knew exactly what I wanted,” he said. “I wanted revenge. I wanted answers. I wanted you to suffer as I suffered.”
Mara stood motionless.
“And now?” she asked.
He faced her again.
“Now you’re standing in front of me, and my wolf wants to tear apart anyone who comes near you.”
Her breath caught.
Lucian’s eyes darkened.
“Do you understand how much I hate that?”
Mara’s lips parted, but no words came.
“I hate that my body recognizes you. I hate that the bond answers every time you breathe. I hate that after everything you did, some part of me still wants to protect you.”
“I never asked you to.”
“I know!” he snapped. “That is the worst part. You don’t have to ask. Fate decided for us.”
Mara slowly lowered her hand.
“Then we’re both trapped.”
Lucian’s gaze remained fixed on hers.
“No.” His voice was cold. “You are trapped with the consequences of what you did.”
“And you?”
His silence stretched between them.
Mara held his stare.
“You are the one who spent nine hundred years searching,” she said. “You wanted to find me.”
“Yes.”
“But now that you have…”
She paused.
“Do you wish you never had?”
Lucian’s silence lasted longer this time.
Mara looked away.
“That is enough.”
“What?”
“I don’t need an answer.”
“You asked.”
“I know what the answer is.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Do you?”
“You hate me.”
“I do.”
“You want revenge.”
“I did.”
“And now?”
Lucian stepped closer, stopping only when the bond screamed at him to close the remaining distance.
His voice was almost a whisper.
“Now I don’t know whether I want revenge… or the woman fate placed in front of me.”
Mara’s eyes lifted to his.
Lucian’s anger had not vanished. Neither had his hatred.
But beneath both, something far more dangerous had begun to take root.
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