Chapter One: Hers To Leave
875 Words
I asked no questions while we buried it. We shoveled dirt into the hole in silence. I didn't even know what it was—only Mars knew what was inside that box. He stayed quiet the entire time, only speaking when we got home and I started packing.
"You can't leave me, Blair," my best friend, Chrishiano Mars, begged, pouting.
Oh, it's so cute when he does that. Maybe I should try harder to stay.
Be strong, Blair, I told myself.
"I have to leave, Mar. Alpha's orders, remember?" I sighed, continuing to pack my things. I didn’t really want to be an undercover rogue, but if I didn’t follow the Alpha’s orders, I might just become a real rogue.
"I’ll talk to Daddy Dearest and tell him to take the she-b***h instead. Besides, I’m going to be Alpha soon—I must get a say in something like this," Chrishiano insisted.
Yes, I know. I’m besties with the future Alpha—how cool is that?
But being his best friend also means I’ve known Alpha Ramirez for a long time, and he rarely changes his mind. I really wish Jenna—the she-b***h—could go instead, but for some reason, the Alpha chose me.
That reason being that I’m the best warrior-in-training in the pack—and I fit the rogue’s description perfectly.
Sixteen. Wild black hair with streaks of chestnut brown. Amber eyes. Darkly tanned skin.
Lucreasia and I look so much alike, it's scary.
We captured her last week, and since then, I’ve been training to be her. I’ve nailed her walk, her speech, her glare. Even the way she grunts and growls—those were actually pretty intimidating, by the way. But now? I can do them too. I am Lucreasia.
The training was exhausting, but at least it got me out of school.
Ah, one of the few perks—I get to miss junior and senior year. My brain quit school on the first day of preschool, so that explains my grades. But honestly, school’s useless to werewolves. Talk about hell, part two.
The Red Eclipse Pack is strong—our one problem? Rogues. Once I’m done with this mission, that won’t be a problem anymore.
"Well, how about this? Call me when you become Alpha, and I’ll come running," I said, hoping he’d understand.
He scoffed.
"I've been training since I was ten to help the pack," I continued. "Not just to find my mate and have pups. Now, I can do something that actually matters."
I covered the last of my things with white sheets before straddling Chrishiano, who was already seated on my bed. He wrapped his arms protectively around my waist while I looped mine around his neck.
"So, staying here with me doesn’t actually matter?" he asked, his heavy lashes framing his deep brown eyes.
"Why would you say that, Mar? You’re my best friend. You’re the one I’ll always run back to. You matter more than anything else," I said, pulling him into a hug.
"I love you, Blair," he whispered.
"I love you too, Mar," I murmured against his shoulder.
He pulled back slightly, forcing me to meet his gaze. "No, Blair. I mean I love you love you."
Oh, no. Not this. Not now.
"What about your mate?" I asked, trying to deflect.
"I’m pretty sure I’m looking at her—unless I’m not the type of mate you want," he challenged.
That’s ridiculous. I’ve had a crush on this fool since we were eight.
"Don’t be silly, Mar. You’re the type of mate every girl wants," I admitted. Including me, I didn’t add.
"Then why did you say it back?"
"Because... I don’t want to break if we’re not. And I don’t want to be the one who breaks this—what we have."
If I let myself truly be his now, I wouldn’t survive if he found his real mate and pushed me aside.
Or worse—if I found mine and loved him more.
Mates change you. I don’t want that. I don’t want us to change.
I want to jump on him, straddle him, hold onto his leg and pout to get what I want. I want to hug him, cuddle with him at night, and not have it be awkward. I want to love him without boundaries—but not now. Not until we’re both sure.
We stared at each other, memorizing every detail as if one of us might vanish into thin air.
And one of us was.
"Blair!" Alpha Ramirez’s voice echoed from downstairs.
Guess it’s time.
"I have to go, Mar," I said, climbing off his lap and walking toward the door. I hated goodbyes—so I avoided them whenever I could.
"Blair," he called.
"Yeah?"
"When you get to the forest, roll around in the mud. Roll real good, okay? You’re too pretty to be a rogue," he said.
I walked back to him, hugging him one last time.
"I’m so going to miss you," I sighed.
"I’ll miss you more," he whispered.
Downstairs, Alpha Ramirez gave me my final instructions. Then, I left.
Goodbye, room. Goodbye, house. Goodbye, pack.
Goodbye, friends.
But most of all—
Goodbye, my Mars.
- Writer
