Gone and Reborn

RUNNING

Three awful years had passed since the day she´d been driven in a haze to the hospital at the back of an officer´s car, only to find out a moment later that her mom had also been pronounced dead even before the ambulance was able to arrive there.

Her heart breaking in a million pieces that flew away like ashes. Gone with the wind and out of her reach, so far away that she wasn´t even sure she would be able to find them and put them together ever again.

She´d sat at the funeral service with her head low, her eyes fixed on her chipped nails. Scratching the scars of the faint cuts the broken glass had left on her palms.

-Jo, I´m sorry for your loss- she would hear with every passing minute. The voice always changing but the words remaining as dull as ever, the meaning simply eluding her comprehension.

The lawyers had been kind enough to keep things short and let her go on her way. With much more money she could ever dream of in her bank account and a whole purposeless life ahead to live.

When silence greeted her as she first entered the place that she once used to call home, she just couldn´t stand it and ran out of there, speeding until she was as a far away as she could get.

She booked a hotel room and stayed there until school cycle started once again a few weeks later, not even bothering to go back and pick her clothes up.

The rest of her college days she´d just drifted away, letting herself go into the void of numbness her existence had become. She moved into the dorms, so she could avoid being alone as much as possible, because deep inside she was terrified of her own thoughts and of what she would do if she was ever given enough time and silence to peek down the edge of the black abyss.

She never told anyone or even notified any school personnel about what had happened. Instead, she just kept going, rolling downhill faster and faster and not giving a flying s**t.

Years went by and she spent them having a continuous series of one-night stands, banging one guy after the other. All those dudes´ faces merging into one big featureless mass and just fading away as time passed.

Before she knew it, and miraculously, to say the least.... she´d made it out of financial school with even an honorific mention. Not that she cared at all. So, she found herself standing outside the dorms, holding her suitcase, not knowing where else to go.

She´d tried heading back home, but she couldn´t even set a foot inside. So, she hired a broker and arranged it to be rented out, she made sure all the furniture was sent to a storage unit and then proceeded to try and forget everything about its existence. Moving to a nearby city, where she busied her mind buying herself a new apartment and refurbishing it entirely with only the best of the best.

Meanwhile, she started traveling, trying to run away to somewhere, to something else… even when she wasn´t sure what that was in the end, just telling herself she was having the time of her life. She wasted her meaningless months in endless open bar nights, perched at the counter of any given hotel, at any random country she wasn´t even interested in knowing anything about.

And when the inevitable playboy would approach her at some point in the night, with his fake smile and pretended self-confidence, preying on her like a pathetic wanna be alpha. She would just laugh internally and screw his brains out anyway, being thankful for the brief moment of rush. Always leaving silently when the first lights hurt her face, her steps swallowed by the morning shadows as she walked back to her empty room.

By the time the contractors had finished their work, she already knew she could never live there by herself. The few nights she´d spent there had been a struggle on their own, and now she couldn´t imagine being there all day, hearing nothing but her thoughts.

She sat at the entrance of the pristine place once the last worker had left for the day and just stayed there as the sun started going down, silently crying and dreading to go inside, cause that would mean she would have to face her loneliness.

A long time had passed when she spotted a girl, pacing by the parking lot with a defeated look and a tired demeanor. She would never know what compelled her to stand up and follow her that afternoon. But she did it, nonetheless. Silently trailing behind her until she saw her stop by a small car and sigh, rubbing her eyes and fishing into her purse, looking for her keys. That´s when she heard her faint sobs and something very primal just clicked inside.

-Are you ok?- Jo asked in a shaky voice, instantly regretting it as she saw the girl freeze and turn slowly around with a startled look.

-I´m sorry- she muttered raising her hands in the air- I, I just heard you crying and I thought you needed help. I don´t want to intrude. I´ll leave… ok? Sorry again.

Jo turned to walk away, cursing internally and feeling utterly ashamed. She was about to start walking when she heard a voice behind her.

-Wait, don´t leave. I´m sorry...-she sniffled- You just surprised me that´s all. I didn´t mean to be rude.

She slowly spun her head towards the girl and found her standing there with her hand extended to her.

-I´m Ally- she´d said with a genuine smile on her face, shaking her hand eagerly.

-Jo- she simply replied, smiling back at her.

-Want a smoke, Jo?- Ally offered, reaching for her purse and extracting a pack of cigarettes, taking out one and offering her another- I could use some company to share a cig with, especially after such a shitty day.

Jo took the cigarette and let Ally light it for her. Then both leaned on the car and silently puffed out smoke for a while. Just enjoying each other´s presence.

-So… what were you crying all about?- Jo asked mid-through her cig, eyeing her discretely. She noticed her tiny frame and long brunette hair. The heavy make-up... the general bad-girl vibe and it made her smile, cause she was clearly nothing but a sweet girl trying to look mean.

-Hum, I guess it was just out of frustration - Ally trailed off- I´ve been looking for a place to stay for days, I´m supposed to be starting on this new job on Monday, but everything is just outrageously expensive in this city. I´ve come to realize that maybe it would be far cheaper just to make the two-hour drive to work and then back to my hometown everyday.

-Are you for real?- Jo replied, her face beaming-This is perfect! I was just looking for a roommate! Why don´t you just move in with me?

Ally eyed her with suspicion and then sighed heavily.

-Do you happen live in this complex by any chance?- she inquired, studying her features.

-Duh, yeah!- Jo answered, puffing a little of air and smiling at her.

-No offense sweetheart, but I just saw one of the apartments in the left tower and I know how high the market prize in the area really is, there´s no way in hell I could ever afford that, not even splitting the rent with you. But thanks for the offer anyway.

Ally put her cig butt out and started inserting the key into the lock of her car, making Jo bite her lip with anxiety.

-Wait!- she called out a little bit too loudly- What´s your budget anyway? I bet we can work it out.

She turned around to face her with disbelief in her eyes and scoffed.

-And how exactly do you plan to do that, girl? Landlords want what they want, and there´s not a way around that, hun.

-Well- Jo grinned at her- What if I told you there IS a way?

Ally glared at her with a little bit of annoyance and held her gaze.

-Enlighten me please- she finally said- I´m dying to know why it is that you are so sure about this.

Jo smiled at her with her million-dollar victory smirk and winked at her.

-Because I am the landlord, hun. I own the place.