Tied For Eternity

Chapter 2; Confessions.

Shehzaan's POV.

To say that she was looking beautiful was just an understatement. I was still reeling to the same look on her face a few hours ago. The cute small blush, her fiddling with her fingers and engagement ring, her honey brown eyes staring right back at my midnight blue ones. f**k! I am still thinking about her.

"Bahar rehne se raat nahi niklegi. You'll have to go in sometime." Abbu advised. (Staying outside wouldn't end the night.)

"I know Abbu, I just, I don't know." I sighed.

"Remember what I have taught you Shehzu. Never give up on your responsibilities, no matter what. The girl in there is wishing for everything a husband would give her, and if you think you're not so sure about it, ask her for some time, sort out your feelings and then decide." Wow, too much huh? (Sarcasm intended)

I walked towards my bedroom, ours, before I developed any more cold feet. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, her beautiful face flashing over, before I smiled and opened the door. Here we go...

Maleeha's POV.

After the photo shoot, the girls had escorted me into our bedroom and had suggested so much for me to wear. Some said a red lingerie would look nice, then looking at my face muttered "her husband might just think her blush coloured the whole thing, forget it."

And my face reddened further. We were going through the rest of the suggestions before someone talked about a sleeveless nightie. I panicked and shook my head at Khirad, my cousin sister who was actually more than a best friend to me. She smiled reassuringly and got out something from my bag. A golden coloured night dress with long sleeves and it went upto my ankles. I heaved a sigh of relief.

"A golden attire for the golden night!" Shehzan's sister Aminah, exclaimed as I flushed, again.

So here I was. Waiting for my dear husband to arrive. Great timing, I thought as the door knob turned and my husband walked in. I felt my fingers tightening the grip around my engagement ring as I stood near the edge of the bed. I had no idea of this night whatsoever. Normally, a girl is taught about all this by the mother after she becomes a teen, but considering my relation with my mom... I'd better as well not go there.

"It's a shame. Your sexy specimen of a husband's right in front of you, and you seem lost. What a shame!" Shehzaan complained pouting slightly.

I blushed at his not-so-innocent comment at trying to flaunt his cockiness. He chuckled lightly before lifting my chin to face him. He then pulled my fingers off my ring and smiled at me.

"If you keep playing with it, I might have to buy a new ring every month." I laughed lightly at that. "Ok, now, coming back to the current issue...crap! I sound like one of those boring ass businessmen."

"Well, you are boring and a businessman, so maybe that's the reason you sound like it." He glared at me as I ducked my head giggling.

"Whatever. Anyways, lets talk. Get on the bed." He said, or demanded.

Wow, and here I thought my husband would love me for the rest of my life and make this night memorable for me.

Did you forget, Maleeha? Nobody loves you, nobody ever will. My inner self mocked.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when my husband waved his hands right in my face. He pointed towards the bed and I saw a board game placed on one of the pillows. Snake and ladders?

"What? Don't look at me like that. You'll know why I have chosen to do this."

I raised an eyebrow at him and sighed, defeatedly. I climbed onto the bed carefully, making sure my nightdress didn't rise up my ankles. I watched as he jumped on the bed like a two year old kid and set the game up.

"Ok.. now here we go. The both of us will play this game and whoever wins has to confess something first. It can be anything. And then, we will take turns to know about each other. Is that fine?" I merely nodded and he rolled the dice first.

I watched as he kept climbing down the same snake's body. This was like the 10th time and I stifled my laugh. He glared at me playfully before challenging me that he would win. I just stared at him.

Ten minutes later he started dancing mentally and I sat there wondering how he won all of a sudden. He came back to the bed and stared at me.

"Now time for confessions.... Ok, now what to say? Huff...look Maleeha, I know the both of us were forced in this marriage, so you don't have to pretend to be happy. Don't worry, I know how you feel so you should also know that I will fulfil all my responsibilities as your husband... but don't expect anything more from me. We will live under the same roof as legally married couples do yet there wouldn't be anything between us. In fact, I am waiting for a meeting to be fixed and once that's done, I could make excuses as to why I ain't coming back. That said, why don't we go to sleep. Huh?"

Wow. No, we will try to work this out or I think we should accept each other but a big fat 'THIS CAN'T HAPPEN?' What have I ever done to anyone. Nodding at Shehzaan, I turn to my side, my back to his face, and try to sleep. Soon, I hear light snores, confirming that he is sleeping and I walk to the bathroom, careful not to make any noise. I lock the door, close the toilet flap and sit on it, trying to understand.

What a confession! I thought as I got up to look at myself in the mirror after too much thinking. A dark-skinned girl stared back at me, reminding me one of the reasons my mother has always hated me. My colour. My siblings were both fair so my mother always pampered them.

Maybe that's the reason my husband does not want anything to do with me. I thought.

Why me, why me, why me? I heard my conscience shout and I lowered my head having no answer.

I knew that it were only prayers that would satisfy me so I did my ablution and walked out of the bathroom. I took my prayer mat from my bag and began praying. Once I was done, I raised my hands to make dua.

Ya Allah, I know that all of this is a test, as dad has always said. Yet I want to confess something, that I know I wouldn't say in front of my husband. I was going to give this Nikkah a try. I wanted to feel loved, to know love, yet you failed my attempts once again. Yet here I am, crying my eyes out because of the pain my bleeding heart is facing. Ya Rabb, have mercy on me. Allow me to feel loved. Ameen.

I stayed on the prayer mat for some time crying it all out before folding the prayer mat and getting onto the bed. I slept on my side, making sure I was on the edge so I wouldn't even touch him by mistake, and closed my eyes.

I just hope the new morning brings happiness. I muttered to myself.