You stay in my heart

chapter thirteen

As the saying goes, what my father did outside, eventually let my mother know.

They divorced soon after.

Xu Bai's father found a powerful lawyer, and there were countless divorce lawsuits. Xu Bai's mother, however, asked for nothing. She just wanted custody of her daughter.

In this regard, Tao Juan's evaluation is: "They artists are like this, not cannibalistic fireworks."

Tao Juan moved into the courtyard and was personally taken care of by Xu Bai's grandmother, when her lower abdomen was already slightly swollen and a new life was born inside.

She goes everywhere to akimbo - in the era of Beijing hukou so valuable, she solved the housing problem, marriage problem, work problem, in fact, it is not easy.

She from the hotel waiter, became a company secretary, relying on Xu Bai's father's relationship, life trajectory and the past is very different.

Tao Juan also did not forget to stabilize the position.

She heard that painters are temper, expect Xu Bai's mother as she used to be conning, not as gentle as her little meaning, so she is more considerate of Xu Bai's father, with a full of strong love.

Xu Bai's father has not yet obtained a license with her, but it is only a matter of time.

Because men care about their children, and Tao Juan, as a single mother, is unable to give her child a hukou.

The end of August is another sunny day, the scenery of flowers and trees is excellent, the sun shines warm.

Xu Bai went to high school, but not the school where she went to junior high.

Her mother enrolled her in a boarding international high school and soon planned to send her to study in England.

However, after paying the tuition fees, the mother's remaining money is not much, coinciding with a painting exhibition opportunity in Shanghai, she will Xu Bai An ton after good, alone went to Shanghai.

Xu Bai still had a lot of things left in the courtyard.

Grandma locked the door of her room and did not let others in, but she remembered her memory and missed her granddaughter very much, and called Xu Bai every three and a half times to let her come home for dinner on vacation.

During the National Day in October, the mother in Shanghai can not come back, Xu Bai received a phone call from grandma, carrying the bag home.

The alley is still the old alley, but the home is not the old home, the road that can be finished in ten minutes, Xu Bai dawdled for half an hour today.

The new neighbors moved in next door, and sure enough, they pulled out the geraniums. The scenery in the yard is not as good as in previous years, the grass is yellow, the leaves are falling, and Xu Bai suddenly found that autumn is the season of withering.

Grandma stood at the door to meet her: "Little white, today made sauce elbow."

After many days without seeing her, Grandma felt that her granddaughter was thin again, rubbed Xu Bai's small face, and then asked: "You should eat more at school, how can you not eat when you grow up? How heavy are you?"

Xu Bai truthfully said, "Forty-eight kilograms."

"Seven meters tall," grandma distressed, "how can this..."

In the eyes of the old man, a height like Xu Bai needs 60 kilograms to be strong.

Therefore, when eating, grandma gave Xu Bai a dish: "Today's elbow is done well, it is delicious."

Xu Bai's father sat opposite, not seeing his daughter for a long time, and of course wanted to care for her, so he grilled the meat on the belly of the bass and ladled it into his daughter's bowl.

"Eat the fish," said the father. "I made the fish."

The sofa at home has been changed, and even the tableware is different from before.

Xu Bai only has a feeling of being a guest in someone else's home.

She had something on her mind and ate slowly.

The father said, "The crabs are still steaming in the pot, don't you like crabs most?" There's a lot of ginger in the steamer, and you've liked it that way since you were little."

Hearing this, Xu Bai finally raised his head.

From the moment she got home, she felt something was wrong, and only now did she react: "Where's my dumplings?"

Xu Bai put down his chopsticks and didn't eat again. She looked directly at her father and repeated, "Dad, where's my dumplings?"

Tangyuan is the cat that Xu Bai keeps.

Father wanted to avoid the topic, opened a bottle of beer and said, "Xiao Bai, you want dumplings, after lunch, I will go to the supermarket to buy you..."

Xu Bai got up from his seat and put his hands on the table.

Her voice was crying: "You tell me, where did you put the dumplings?"

The food was steaming on the table, but no one answered her.

Autumn is sunny, the sky is blue, white clouds are undulating, and the cool wind is very pleasant.

But Xu Bai was cold all over.

The grandmother comforted her: "Baby granddaughter, don't cry, isn't it just a cat?" If you want it, Grandma will buy you a new one."

The stepmother sitting opposite Xu Bai, who did not speak, also persuaded her at this time: "Yes, Xiao Bai." If you want a cat, don't cry, get a new one."

After that, the stepmother also felt that she had said something funny, and gently laughed.

However, the reason why Xu Bai will go home, the first is to see grandma, the second is to see the cat.

She didn't want to see her father.

Xu Bai was able to talk to his father normally only because of years of tutoring.

Xu Bai's father had promised to take care of the cat for several months and return the dumplings to her when her mother returned to Beijing at the end of October and settled down in a new house.

Xu Bai last came back in September, because she lived on campus, she could not take care of the cat as before. Tangyuan far see her, a lunge over, grievances can not.

The cat was still fluffy, with black and white fur and four snow-white claws. Its ears stood upright, its head rubbed against Xu Bai, and it licked her carefully.

Xie Pingchuan was right, Xu Bai did make the cat look like a dog.

Xu Bai and Tang Yuan said: "You bear it, OK, we wait for mother to come back, and then we will move to a new home."

New home in Changping district, is a new apartment, has not been decorated, Xu Bai is ready for the cat litter, also set up a cat climbing frame.

Now, one noon in early October, Xu Bai's stepmother said to her, "Look, I have your brother in my stomach, and even cats have hookworm disease. How can we raise them in the pregnant woman's home?"

A cat or a person, who would choose the former?

The stepmother hid her face and smiled: "Just right, your father's colleague......"

Before the stepmother finished, the father threw down his chopsticks and confessed to his daughter, "My colleague is Uncle Zhang, who has been to our house. You also know him."

The father continued: "The son of the old Zhang family likes cats and wants black and white flowers, like the black cat sheriff on TV, just met your cat."

Stepmother and father, both mentioned "just".

As if it were a real coincidence.

The father continued, "It's just a cat. Don't worry about it. Wouldn't it be better for you to spend your time on the real thing?"

Xu Bai paused for several seconds, and had no strength to speak.

All she did was stand, her legs numb, the back of her neck throbbing like blood against the current.

She asked, "Where is Lao Zhang's house? I'm going to look for my cat."

Opposite the stepmother while eating sauce elbow, while speaking: "Little white, this is not good, sent things, can take back..."

Stepmother spoke that mouth, just Xu Bai collapse edge.

Xu Bai cold face said: "Don't call me white, who knows you."

The stepmother smiled stiffly and picked up the paper to wipe her hands.

Any stepmother touched the dishes, Xu Bai will not eat. Because the stepmother had caught the bass, the bass meat that her father gave Xu Bai was thrown into the garbage dish.

The fact that she can sit at a table with them to eat is already the limit of 15-year-old Xu Bai's tolerance.

But the stepmother was embarrassed by her, and could not help but ask back: "Why, you must bring the cat back, in case it hurts your brother..."

"Brother" is an empty talk for Xu Bai.

Besides, because of this brother, she doesn't even have a home.

Four months of pent-up emotions burst out of the dam.

Thinking of his mother's grievance and her tears, Xu Bai immediately became angry and threw his rice bowl to the ground: "Even if it hurts, what about it? You are not from our family."

This sentence can be regarded as an insult, and the stepmother's face changed.

She lowered her eyes and covered her stomach.

With an unborn child in her belly.

Seeing this, Xu Bai's father raised his hand, as if to educate his daughter: "Xiao Bai, how do you speak, have no education?" That's your brother. Apologize to your aunt."

Xu Bai's eyes were full of tears, but his voice was very hard: "Do you want to hit me..." "I never want to see you again," she said hoarsely.

When Xu Bai was born, his parents were actually ecstatic. Especially her father, whenever he met people, he would say that his wife had given birth to a daughter, white and lovely, and call it Xu Bai.

Young Xu Bai powder carved jade, almost no elders do not like.

That's why she uses a cabinet for her dolls.

Her father did not know how to raise his daughter and tried to provide the best material conditions for her.

The job was transferred from the hometown to Beijing, Xu Bai's parents borrowed money and loans, and finally bought the courtyard house.

And then, today.

Xu Bai's father shook his hand, but the slap did not fall.

He is not Xu Bai's father alone, and he has a child yet to be born.

After dinner, he called Lao Zhang.

On the other end of the phone, Lao Zhang was about to speak but stopped: "Hey, Lao Xu, I'm sorry for you."

Lao Zhang explained: "The cat in your home, since it came to our home ah, lying in the corner all day long, do not eat or drink, I think there is only one breath..."

Lao Zhang originally thought that the domestic cat was so hungry that it would eat by itself. But looking at the current situation, I'm afraid it can't be turned around.

He didn't want to find a place to bury the cat, so he offered enthusiastically, "How about this, Old Xu, I'll drive to your house now and return the cat to you."

So that afternoon, the dumplings returned to Xu Bai's hands.

It is packed in a cardboard box, the eyes are still open, the eyes are like glass beads, clear to no impurities.

Xu Bai, tears pouring down, with great care, gently touched its head.

His eyes narrowed slightly, just as they had always done - as they had for so many years, because of Xu Bai's gentle stroking, and a soft "meow".

Xu Bai hugged the cardboard box tightly: "It's okay, just come back, I'll take you to the hospital."

Lao Zhang reluctant to give a cat money, but Xu Bai took all the household goods.

She flagged down a taxi and ran as fast as she could to the nearest pet hospital.

But into the hospital door, dumplings but gradually cool.

"If you bear with me, I'll find a doctor soon..." Tears blurred Xu Bai's vision, and every second she held the cat, it seemed to be approaching the abyss.

Xu Bai stroked Tangyuan at a loss, and with the last bit of strength, it turned its head to lick her finger - a small pink tongue, dry and cold.

It pressed its head against Xu Bai's hand to make sure she wouldn't go.

If Xu Bai wants to go, he can't help it, because his eyes are no longer open. If Xu Bai were to leave, he would never be able to wait for her to return.

Tangyuan seems to know that he is powerless to change the status quo, close to Xu Bai's head slowly down.

How short the life of a cat is, only its memory is all related to Xu Bai.

Xu Bai covered his face and cried, tears leaking from his fingers, but she could not collapse, she also wanted to find a doctor, to find the best doctor.

But there was nothing doctors could do.

In the pet hospital full of disinfectant smell, the doctor wearing a white coat sighed: "Little girl, I'm sorry for your loss."

The doctor said: "Sent three days earlier, maybe there is still help, now there are no vital signs."

Xu Bai sat against the wall, with the cold cat that the doctor had returned to her in her arms.

Xu Bai remembered that when she was nine years old, she saw a small stray cat on her way home from school.

The cat is only palm-sized, black and white flowers, four small white PAWS, nervously squatting on the side of the road.

Xu Bai didn't think about it at all. She put the kitten in her bag and took it straight home. She also showed off to Xie Pingchuan that she had a pet, which was particularly well-behaved and cute.

Xie Pingchuan said, "You have a cat? A cat can't be very good if it doesn't know its owner."

But Xu Bai's cat is different. It is clingy, recognising home, timid, and loving.

Because of its black and white flower fur, Xu Bai named it Tangyuan.

But now, the dumplings are not moving, as if they are asleep.

As playful as he used to be, he was now as quiet as ever, his ears drooped, and he didn't breathe.

Xu Bai put the dumplings back into the cardboard box and found another quiet place. When she was buried, she took off her bracelet and put it in a cardboard box to be buried with the dumplings.

"Thank you for staying with me for six years," Xu Bai cried until his head ached, and he was suddenly awakened by the night wind. "You are the best cat, and I am the worst owner."

She sat in the clearing for a long time, watching the neon lights glow in the distance.

There are few people around, only the wind is long.

Xu Bai arms knees, finally recognize a reality, in this world, no one can accompany her forever - death is a deadline, time is the Milky Way, long life on the way, she is just a lonely traveler.

And the end of the trip, but a light and a foot between.