30 Days of July

15th July

I had a dream.

Actually, never mind.

I don't think I could have a dream with the state of my mind. Forget it, I don't even want to bother with it. I hate today, I don't even want to wake up from it. What happened, or was supposed to happen, I can't bear to think about it. Forget it, I'm going to pretend that this day didn't exist.

What was I supposed to do?

My eyes flew open, actually, slowly. My eyes opened slowly, I was reluctant to get out of bed. And for the entire day, I walked around as if in a trance. My father talked to me, but never once looked me straight in the eyes. Made sense, he was abandoning me after all.

This is such a cold place, such a cold world as I stood in a crowd of faceless people. I watched, not remembering a single thing, not wanting to remember. I watched, my expression blank.

Yeah, it was probably for the best. Today didn't exist, to me, today never happened. I won't remember a single thing, and I refuse to do so.

I'll just go to sleep, sleep, tomorrow was the day, the day when I am abandoned.

Beep… Beep… Beep…

I hate this.

Beep… Beep… Beep…