He Hated Me First

7. The Journey Begins

Chapter 7

My stomach dropped. "Larry, I…”

"You wanted to be accepted, didn't you?" His voice was low, meant only for my ears. "You wanted freedom from your daily punishments, from being the pack's scapegoat. This is the price."

"I never asked to be your mate."

"No." Something flickered in his eyes, pain? Anger? "You didn't. But here we are, little wolf. Both trapped by the same cosmic joke."

He released my elbow and addressed the crowd. "In months time. The ceremony will be held at the sacred stones. Every pack member is required to attend." His gaze swept across the assembled wolves. "And I mean every member. No exceptions."

The crowd began to disperse, wolves breaking into small groups, their voices rising in heated discussion. I caught fragments of conversation…"traitor's daughter as Luna," "the Alpha has lost his mind," "what will the other packs think?" but Larry's hand on my back propelled me forward, away from the whispers.

"Where are we going?" I asked, hating how small my voice sounded.

"My quarters. You need to prepare for the ceremony." His tone was businesslike, detached. "And we need to establish some ground rules."

"Ground rules?"

"For our arrangement." He glanced down at me, his expression unreadable. "You think tonight changes anything between us, Lyra? You think because I defended you in front of the pack that suddenly we're going to be a happy mated pair?"

The hope I hadn't even realized I was feeling withered and died. "No. Of course not."

Good." His hand pressed harder against my back, guiding me toward the Alpha's residence. "Because nothing has changed. You're still the daughter of traitors. I still hate everything your family represents. The only difference is that now I'm forced to protect you from everyone else."

"Forced," I repeated, the word tasting bitter on my tongue. "That's what I am to you. A burden. An obligation."

"Yes." The single word was like a knife between my ribs.

We reached his quarters, my quarters now, I supposed and he pushed open the heavy wooden door. The interior was exactly as I remembered from three days ago: dark wood, leather furniture, floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking pack territory. Beautiful and cold, like the man who lived here.

"Sit." He pointed to one of the leather chairs near the fireplace.

I remained standing. "I'm not a dog, Larry."

His eyes flashed silver-gold. "No. You're my mate. Which means when we're in public, you obey me. When we're alone…" He stepped closer, and I hated myself for the way my body responded to his proximity. "When we're alone, we're honest. Brutally honest. No games, no pretending."

"Fine." I lifted my chin, meeting his gaze directly. "Then honestly, I don't understand you. You've spent eight years making my life hell. You've stood by and watched while your pack beat me, starved me, humiliated me. And tonight, you kill one of your own warriors to protect me. Why?"

"Because you're mine." The words came out harsh, almost angry. "My wolf won't let anyone else hurt you. It's instinct, not choice."

"That's convenient. Blaming everything on your wolf."

His jaw clenched. "What do you want me to say, Lyra? That I'm sorry? That I regret the last eight years? I can't. Everything I did, I did for a reason."

"Because you thought my parents were traitors."

"Because they were traitors." But even as he said it, I felt uncertainty through the mate bond. Doubt. It was there and gone in an instant, but I'd felt it.

"Were they?" I pressed, sensing an opening. "Or is that just what you were told?"

"Don't." The warning in his voice was clear. "Don't try to rewrite history to make yourself feel better."

"I'm not rewriting anything. I'm asking questions I should have asked years ago." I took a step toward him, emboldened by desperation. "My parents died when I was eleven, Larry. I barely remember them. But what I do remember doesn't match the monsters you've painted them to be."

"Memory is unreliable. Especially a child's memory."

"And pack gossip is reliable? The stories Beta Marcus tells, the version of events that conveniently makes everyone a hero except my family, that's the truth you've built your hatred on?"

His hand shot out, gripping my chin and forcing me to meet his eyes. "Careful, little wolf. You're treading dangerous ground."

"Then let me fall." I held his gaze, refusing to back down. "Because if you're going to torment me for the rest of our lives together, I at least deserve to know why. I deserve to know what my parents actually did."

For a long moment, we stood frozen, his hand on my chin, his eyes searching mine. Through the bond, I felt the war raging inside him, fury and confusion and something that might have been fear.

Then he released me abruptly and turned away.

I stood there for several minutes, trying to process everything that had happened. Then, slowly, mechanically, when I looked in the mirror, I barely recognized myself.

Gone was the broken girl in rags. In her place stood someone who looked like she belonged here, like she deserved to be Luna.

But appearances, I was learning, were the most dangerous lies of all.

A soft knock at the door made me jump. "Enter," I called, expecting Larry.

Instead, Elder Catherine stepped inside, her ancient eyes studying me with an intensity that made me uncomfortable.

"You look the part," she said finally. "Now we'll see if you can play it."

"I don't understand."

"The Luna's oath is more than just words, child. It's a binding, a connection to the pack itself. You'll feel their emotions, their needs, their pain. Can you handle that? Can you lead wolves who despise you?"

"I don't have a choice."

"We always have a choice." Catherine moved closer, her voice dropping. "You could reject the bond. Run. Find another pack, start over somewhere your name doesn't carry such weight."

For a moment, the temptation was overwhelming. Freedom. A new life. Everything I'd dreamed of for eight years.

Then I thought of Larry cruel, conflicted, capable of both protection and punishment. And I thought of the doubt I'd felt through our bond when he'd called my parents traitors.

"No," I said quietly. "I'm staying."

Catherine's lips curved into something that might have been approval. "Then you're braver than I thought. Or more foolish. Time will tell which."

She turned to leave, but paused at the door. "One more thing, child. Larry isn't the enemy you think he is. But he's not the savior you hope for either. To all of us. Every wolf who hates you, every wolf who lost someone to your parents' actions, every wolf who thinks you're an abomination."

"I understand."

"Do you?" Catherine's eyes were sad. "We'll see."

When she left, I stood alone in the white robes, waiting for whatever came next.

And through the mate bond, I felt Larry's approach, his determination, his dread, and buried deep beneath everything else, a flicker of something that might have been hope.

Or it might have been the last ember of my destruction, wait