The Monsters are my Friends

My Life is a Joke

I feel a little lost sometimes. 

It.. feels like, I'm not maturing.. not that it matters right now. I don't know what I was supposed to do. I consider everyone a friend, but I don't think they consider me. Am I weird? Am I the weird kid? I can't really blame them, though. I don't really talk much. My parents are great people, I think. But sometimes I just feel like they don't understand me; and it's going to stay that way... Forever.

There was so much I wanted to say, all the time. Arguments.. in my head. I wanted to say a lot, but the words just never come out. I left.. all my ideas here. The things that could've defined me. The things I wanted to share.. There's so much of them. All sealed away, doomed to rot and be forgotten.. With me.

This is what I get. For being nice.. I guess it's a pretty cruel world after all. I think.. the scorching pain in my stomach is going away. I should've just hit him with a pan.. but I don't wanna crush someone's skull.. If I just hid somewhere, I probably would've had a nicer ending...     At least I finally stood up for myself.

Huh? What... oh. He is a robber after all. Of course he's taking my game. What a coincidence: For the universe to line up its entire history; only to kill off a boy, preparing to play a videogame he waited for years to buy. For once, in my entire shitty life, I got to work for what I want; With nobody to tell me otherwise, and nobody to make me cry. Life.. is a prick.

Hot. I feel so hot. I'm dying. I'm actually dying. This is it. Nothing I've ever done will matter after this. All the years I spent on school, all the time I wasted on all the little things; Will be for nothing. What was the point of it all? I'll just be another one of the billions of people that've died before me. I'm not special, or interesting, or anything. I'm just a small piece of flesh that will be gone like everything else. 

There is no God, I feel. It's just me.. lying here.

...

I'll take comfort in the fact that I won't be able to feel anything when I'm gone. All the pain I've ever experienced in my short lifetime, won't exist at all. It'll be sudden, and that's okay.

It's something we all practice, every night. Just gotta.. close my eyes.. and-