Give Me Back Your Heart

Chapter Three

"Cassandra!" came Derrick's deep voice, "look, I can't make it back today."

"What? You're not coming back today?" I repeated, hardly believing my ears.

I looked at Matt who looked confused, "that's too bad!" he said grinning,  I grinned back, noticing the irony in the situation - "that's too bad!" I said to Derrick, "I was looking forward to seeing you..."

“Little liar,” Matt whispered in my ear, making me giggle. 

“I’ll be coming back tomorrow morning instead.” 

I frowned, regardless of whether or not I had plans, something seemed off, one doesn’t just call out of the blue saying that he is not coming back a couple of hours before he was due to land. The flight from Paris to Miami was around ten hours long. He should have left Paris 8 hours ago, now he’s telling me that he isn’t coming back? If he wasn’t getting on the flight he should have told me two hours before, when he’d decided not to go to the airport … and then there was the fact that he called, which he wouldn’t have done if he was abroad. My senses were telling me that he was in the country. He hung up a few seconds later, and I was still mulling it all over.  

The elevator stopped and we got out, Matt put his arm around my shoulders, and I smiled up at him. Regardless of whether or not I had Derrick in my life, I couldn’t deny how good it felt to have Matt’s arm around me. "Ok, what was all that about?" he asked.

"Well..." I said as we walked, "that was Derrick..."

"Who's Derrick?"

"Um... My boyfriend." I said a little shyly, wondering why I suddenly wished Derrick wasn't in my life right now. Up until yesterday I was happy, looking forward to him coming back... But now, I am having a lot  of thoughts about the whole situation.

"Your boyfriend.  And you're happy that he's not coming back tonight?"  Aren't you supposed to be disappointed?" he said with a bit of a grin, I shrugged, "since when have I ever done what I'm supposed to do?" 

"Good point!" he laughed.

We walked to the car park, "have you got a car?" I nodded, "but I got a lift in today!" I said, "Right, so let's go find mine..." he said, then he suddenly turned and faced me, "Cass..." he said, "yes?" I asked, "Look, I know we... I should have kept in touch with you... I never once forgot you..." I was taken aback. Not really knowing what to say, things were getting heavy too quickly. 

"That’s good to know," I said with a small smile, I wanted to ask why it took him five years to contact me if he hadn’t forgotten me, but I was confused enough as it was, and my feelings were overwhelming me. I didn’t want to open up another can of surprises. I was tired and just wanted a quiet night in. There was a small spark of happiness however, that his words created. My ego purred. 

We approached the car and got in, "can you drive me home?" I asked relaxing against the seat feeling tired, "sure, but could I ask why?"

"You could, but I would have thought that it was obvious..."

He grinned, "nope!" "well, I need to get changed, cause I hate sitting around in these suits!" I explained, "and I’m bone tired," I added apologetically, “alright,” he said, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot, “just point the way.”

“Even better, GPS.” I said with a smile, typing the address into the car’s built in system.

"Remember back when we were at college together?" he asked, looking over at me.

"Yeah... Those were the best days of my life... Those long walks down by the beach, when we'd light a fire and toast marshmallows..." I said reliving those precious moments, "Yeah, I remember that too," he said in such a way that made me look at him, "tell me... Why did we break up?"

I laughed, more to break the tension than because I found his statement funny;  I didn't want to talk about that.  It was still painful to think about it. "We didn't break up," I reminded him, "you went away!"

"So technically I'm still..."

"Matt, don't say it..." I said, trying to keep my voice level.

I didn't want him to know what seeing him again was doing to me. I was beyond happy to see him, if I was honest with myself it felt like a piece of myself had come back to me, something I didn’t know was missing until I felt whole again. I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want to remember how it felt when I lost him the first time. I didn’t want to get into a deep, heavy discussion that I was emotionally unable to handle right now. I was falling apart and finding it more and more difficult to hold myself together.

"Technically Derrick is my boyfriend... And I'm happy!" 

"Cass... You can fool the world, but you can't fool me." he said simply. 

"What do you mean?" I asked, "Whoa! turn left!" 

"OK, and what I meant was..."

I suddenly didn't want to hear it. I couldn't bear to hear what he was about to say. 

“Matt,” I whispered, hoping he could see how I was being torn apart, my eyes were filling with unshed tears, and I could feel my defenses breaking, “I’ve missed you terribly. I didn’t realise just how badly I missed you until now. But my life has changed, I have changed. I am not the same girl you left behind. You’ll discover that if you stick around.” I added with a small smile. 

He nodded, “I really do intend to, Cassie.” he promised, and we drove the rest of the way in silence until we pulled up in front of my house. “Here we are,” I said.