Give Me Back Your Heart

Chapter Five

* MATT *.

Holding her like this was bringing back memories. 

He wanted to kiss away each and every tear that spilled onto her pale cheeks. He wanted to warm her up, his hands were itching to slide  up her back under her t-shirt. 

She clung to him, calming down and eventually her breathing eased and she pulled away a bit. I reluctantly let go.

***

*CASSANDRA*

He let go and looked at me, I smiled, "you always come at just the right time," I whispered, "when I need a friend so badly... you've always been there... even when you weren't here physically... I guess I just lived on my memories, the things you used to say to make me laugh..." he just looked at me, "Cass..." he said as he stroked my hair out of my face, I felt a shiver go through me at his touch, the look he gave me, it was almost a hungry look.  

I got up, remembering what had happened in a similar situation when he'd looked at me like that: things escalated quickly, and we ended up tangled in the sheets, and him giving me quite a few other ‘firsts’. I blushed at the memory, "Cass, just sit down," he said, and I smiled, "don't you think we need to lighten up a bit?  I mean ten minutes talking has got the gloom working already!" 

"Cass, look... We've known each other for ages and to suddenly hear about everything that's happened is a blow... You shouldn't be ashamed of showing what you feel, especially not with me."

"Matt, I'm fine, really... I just... Like you said, it's been a long time and you haven't told me anything about yourself."

"Not much to tell..." he said which made me laugh, "Oh no, nothing much at all!" I said sarcastically but grinning, "no, you've only touched millions of lives... Only become one of the most influential personalities on earth, only sold millions and millions of records, only been featured on every major radio channel, only ..."

"Ok, ok," he conceded, “maybe I have been busy and moderately successful in the last few years”

"Oh Matt! You always were modest, humble and down to earth," I said in mock exasperation, "besides," I added, changing my tone, "it's true, and if you must know, I'm a huge fan!"

"Oh? I've got thousands of those," he said dismissively, but with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

I sat down next to him and nudged him in the ribs, "but how many of them actually know you as I do?" I asked softly. 

"As far as I know, only you..." 

I grinned, "There!" I said triumphantly, "Only me!"

"So," I said getting comfortable and grabbing a cushion from behind me and hugging it, "I told you about Derrick... Who's the lucky girl keeping you company?" he sighed, "no one really," he said grinning, I pretended to be shocked, "no one? OK, do you remember the old strategy we used to use if we thought the other was lying?"

"Oh yeah!" he said laughing, 

"Well, you'll get that if you don't cough up!" I said grinning.

"Ok, Ok, but I was telling the truth..."

I grinned, "ok, then we'll rephrase that... Who's keeping you company, on the sideline??"

"Oh... Well..."

"Yeeeeeeeeeeees??"

"Cass, I'm not saying!"

"Matty, I'm gonna make you spill if you don't!" I said laughing, half wanting to point out that his private life was plastered over websites and tabloids, but instead letting it go. I wanted him to tell me in his own words and in his own  time.

"Look, it's much more fun hearing about you... Tell me about Derrick."

"Don't want to!" I said with a sigh, "Oh come on!" he said, I just shook my head, "Ok, well I guess I'll meet him anyway..."

"You will?" I said surprised.

"Yup, I mean we've always been friends and now I know where to find you... Sure I'll meet him, who knows, we might even end up friends..."

"I don't think so," I said seriously before realizing what I was saying, Matt just laughed, "What? Isn't he a fan?" he joked, "it's a bit more complicated than that..." I said with a slight smile.

"Explain, please?"

"Ok, let's just say you're not his favorite person in the world."

"The guy doesn't even know me!" Matt said indignantly. Which made me laugh, even though the situation wasn't exactly funny.

"He knows about you," I explained, what I really meant was, Derrick knows how much he meant to me and the fact that I never really got over him. "And he knows... well, he'll see that…” I struggled to find words to express what I was feeling, while also trying to keep things light- after all, we literally only just met. 

Just as I was struggling to find words, the phone rang: “Saved by the phone!" I exclaimed, jumping up to answer, "Hello!" I called brightly, looking over at Matt who looked as if he was deep in thought.

There was no answer on the line, “Hello?” I said again, trying to figure out what was going on, "Derrick?" I said, thinking that I heard his voice.

“Oh, hey Cass, sorry, must have called you by mistake,” he said, I could hear loud music playing, and he sounded drunk. 

“Where are you?” I asked, feeling a bit unnerved, I didn’t really know what he got up to on his business trips, but going to clubs instead of coming home didn’t seem right.

“I’m out with friends. Talk tomorrow. Bye…”

 He hung up without waiting for me to answer, and I was left holding the phone to my ear in a daze, not quite knowing what to think. 

I sat back down deep in thought, pulling the cushion back onto my lap. 

Derrick had changed his plans three times in a row on just this one trip, and now he was drunk and out clubbing, even though he’d never gone out clubbing with me, he didn’t even drink with me, so what exactly was going on?

"What's got you so gloomy?" Matt asked, bringing me out of my daydreaming, I looked at him blankly, "Ok, I'm making my own theory up here... That was Derrick…?”

“Yeah… he sounded drunk, and there was loud music in the background. I think he’s at a club. But he hates music, and doesn’t ever have more than one beer. Even I’m not allowed to drink more than a glass of wine if I’m out with him,” I confessed, frowning, trying to make sense of it all.

“I don’t want to say anything out of place, Cass, and I don’t know what your relationship is like, but you are scaring me a little.”

That broke me out of my trance, “nah, don’t worry,” I said waving it away, “how about I give you a tour of the house and then we go out?"

Matt smiled, "how about you give me the tour, and I'll call for a pizza?"

"You want to stay in, you're not bored?"

"I’m definitely not bored. I’m actually enjoying spending time with you- it still feels completely surreal.”

“I know,” I say with a smile, happy that it’s not just me who is having trouble processing, “it feels totally unreal to me too."