9. Understand I can't help it
1201 Words
Silence followed. The kind of silence when someone is unsure of what to say. The kind that is heavy in awkward understanding.
"We're going to take a break." Aiden said. The warrior and him left the room quietly.
I still held the kings gaze. The air got thick again and I finally looked away. The realization that this is what happens when I cross him, it stirred something in me. The same feeling I get when I'm about to do something defiant and slightly wild.
"That explains alot." he paused. "Look at me." I kept my head down. For the very first time since becoming a Sigma I felt shame creep in. I kept my head down.
A loud thump on the table snapped me out of my thoughts. The sudden movement the King made to stand up with both his hands still on the table. His hands being the culprit of the sudden noise.
"I said look at me" I had jumped a step back, ready to fight.
When I look at him, I'm passive about it. It has been a long time since I felt what I feel now.
As I looked at them I almost felt my old self come back.
He looked at me expectantly. "I'm not sorry. This is who I am. My rank will never leave. There are things happening though. Things that are far more serious than even you know." I continued to look into his gorgeous eyes.
He continued to stay silent but spoke loudly through his eyes. Even though we practically just mett. Even though I don't know if he was planning to take me as Luna Queen. His eyes screamed betrayal, like this was the last thing he wanted. It hurt. Like the lashes breaking my back again over the scars that would never heal.
"We will figure this out one way or another. Is there anything else you need to tell me?" His voice held disappointment.
"I'm not what you think I am. Sigmas have a place in the pack, regardless of what anyone says." The need to prove myself to this Alpha brought out my true feelings on the matter.
"Sigma's have never been necessary in the pack. Like I said we will figure this out. Maybe it would do well to make you Luna instead." he said the last bit more to himself.
It made me angry. I was angry that he wanted to change me. I also felt more shame. He would rather attempt to change my rank than accept me in my rightful place. Though he didn't know where my rightful place was and explaining it would sound threatening to the Alpha position.
I remained silent looking at the table. I'd have to let this go for now. I knew when to push and when not to. I couldn't let my Wolf wanting to prove herself to her mate, win over knowing when to back off.
"In the mean time, I'll use the information you have given me. We need to end this threat to the kingdom least a war begin." I knew this was my dismissal and I left my things there for him to use for now.
I needed to figure out how to show him the throne is not at all what I want.
For the first time I gave a partial bow, not something in my nature. I left going to look for the others that had come with me. Evan and Vera could possible give me some advice. Minnie would support me no matter what. She's happy to be wherever I am because it meant she was safe.
When I went out to the kitchen I saw the beta and the warrior waiting for the Alpha to be finished speaking with me.
Aiden spotted me first and this time I didn't pretend to be anything other than what I am.
"I think he is ready for you." I told them.
The beta looked at me with confusion on his face. "You are just as fit a rank to join us." I realized them the Beta may understand more than I thought.
"The Alpha wishes to change my rank." I said as I casually leaned on the counter they sat at. I kept my true emotion out of it simply stating fact.
I did not expect the Beta to burst out with near laughter. "Change a Sigmas rank." he mocked with a humorous grin as though this is the most redickulus thing he had heard today. "What on earth does he think he will accomplish by doing that? I'll talk to him. Make him see reason." I'm taken aback by his sudden outburst and how quickly he is sticking up for me.
"How much do you know about sigmas? and how?" I asked with scrunched eyebrows.
"Ah, I was not born Beta. Much like you I earned my rank. It's who I am to my core." Its true most wolves no longer had to prove themselves to their position. It was the old way and the animalistic way wolves had once relied on strongly only mattered sometimes as we tried to blend in with society. Wolves were meant to rely on this hierarchy though. It did not work for well for humans but without one for us well... now we are on the brink of war.
"I think he is waiting for you." I had to think more on this and with that the knoded and left. It was not something I wanted to discuss with them. It did not matter if the Alpha did not agree.
I spent some time I'm the kitchen deciding to make a wrap this time.
As I put it together I caught the scent of someone enter. The scent was familiar to my Wolf. Yet when I turned to look, I had never met this female. Her features are soft and her hair is black falling in long shinny waves. She is far more feminine than myself. My face typically looked like resting b***h face and my eyes icy blue.
She stopped looking at me up and down assessing me as well. She must feel the connection too.
"Hi! You must be Kat." She gracefully walked to me opening her arms for a hug. I gave her a confused look not understanding the welcoming gesture. "Oh, I'm Rose, Aidens primary mate and Xaivier's secondary." That explained it. I knoeded and gave her a half hug even though I'm certainly not the hugging type. I saw her and I liked her.
"They are in the office with a warrior" I told her going back to making my food.
"Oh! He is not a Warrior. His name is Josh and he is a Gamma." she stated. I knew then it was another case of the miss ranked. "He is Amber's primary mate."
I simply knoded at her. She went off in the direction of the office.
'That was strange.' I said to my Wolf who had not raised alarm to anything that just conspired.
'She is sweet. She is family.' Sage said to me.
I didn't comment anymore on it and went upstairs to talk to my crew.
- Writer
