05
1006 Words
CHAPTER FIVE
Hello, Helena
The video keeps playing.
I don’t.
I stand perfectly still in the kitchen holding a phone that apparently belongs to me while my face stares back at me.
My face.
My voice.
My smile.
Wrong.
Not wrong.
Just—
familiar in the way childhood bedrooms are familiar after years away.
Video Me smiles awkwardly.
Then she looks off-camera.
Like someone is standing there.
Her expression softens.
Then she looks back.
“Okay.”
She laughs once.
Nervous.
Which immediately feels offensive because that is exactly how I laugh when I’m pretending not to panic.
“Hi, Helena.”
My hand tightens around the phone.
Video Me takes a breath.
“If you’re watching this…”
She pauses.
“…then either I was right or I was catastrophically dramatic.”
Nothing about this feels funny.
Video Me glances away again.
Then says—
“Kit, if you started this video too early, I’m going to haunt you.”
I slowly turn.
Kit looks horrified.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Video Me sighs.
“Okay.”
She sits down.
The camera shakes.
She adjusts it.
Normal.
Too normal.
Like she’s making a grocery list.
Not recording evidence that reality broke.
Her eyes meet mine.
And suddenly—
I feel weird.
Because she’s me.
But she isn’t.
She looks older somehow.
Not physically.
Emotionally.
Like she’s lived through something.
Like she knows things.
She smiles softly.
“You’re probably scared.”
I stop breathing.
Video Me nods.
“Okay.”
Another nod.
“Yeah.”
She looks down.
Then back up.
“You always get angry first.”
I stare.
She continues—
“You’re probably trying to prove this is fake.”
My throat tightens.
Her smile gets smaller.
“You’re checking details.”
She points at the camera.
“You’re counting inconsistencies.”
I look at Kit.
He doesn’t move.
Video Me continues—
“You’re thinking if enough things are wrong, then everything is wrong.”
I hate her.
I hate that she’s right.
She leans forward.
“Listen carefully.”
I freeze.
She says—
“You are not trapped.”
My stomach twists.
She keeps going.
“You chose this.”
Immediately—
No.
Video Me shakes her head.
Like she heard me.
“I know.”
Her smile hurts.
“I know.”
She takes a breath.
“You think I’m brainwashed.”
Pause.
“You think I’m unhappy.”
Pause.
“You think I settled.”
Pause.
She smiles.
Very softly.
“I didn’t.”
The room feels quieter.
She looks off-camera.
Then smiles again.
Smaller this time.
Private.
Then she says—
“I loved Neil.”
My chest tightens.
Video Me nods.
“Really loved him.”
Kit goes still.
I notice.
I don’t know why.
She keeps talking.
“And leaving him hurt.”
My eyes flick upward.
Video Me looks directly at me.
“But staying hurt more.”
The room feels too small.
She says quietly—
“That doesn’t make him bad.”
Pause.
“It doesn’t make us bad.”
She exhales.
Then—
“You don’t know this yet…”
She smiles.
“…but love isn’t always choosing the safest person.”
Silence.
Video Me looks away.
Then laughs softly.
“And before you get dramatic—”
Rude.
“—no, this isn’t about soulmates.”
She points.
“You hate soulmates.”
I do.
Her smile widens.
“Still hate them.”
Then she says—
“It’s about recognition.”
I stare.
Her voice softens.
“You’ll understand later.”
No.
No I won’t.
I don’t understand now.
Video Me becomes serious.
“If this happened after lunch…”
My stomach drops.
She closes her eyes briefly.
Then opens them.
“…then it got worse.”
Kit looks away.
Video Me notices.
Her expression changes.
Gentler.
She says—
“Kit.”
His eyes lift immediately.
Video Me smiles.
And suddenly—
it’s not my smile.
It’s somebody else’s.
Not in appearance.
In meaning.
She says quietly—
“Did you sleep?”
Kit says nothing.
Video Me sighs.
“That means no.”
My stomach twists unexpectedly.
Why does that bother me?
Video Me looks back at me.
“Helena.”
My eyes lift.
She smiles.
Small.
Careful.
“If he looks exhausted…”
Her eyes flick away.
“…it’s because he gets scared every time.”
My chest tightens.
I hate that.
Video Me shrugs.
“He’s annoying.”
Kit mutters—
“Okay.”
Video Me ignores him.
“He hovers.”
Another quiet—
“Okay.”
She continues—
“He apologizes too much.”
Kit closes his eyes.
Then—
her smile softens.
“But he stayed.”
The room goes still.
She looks at me.
Directly.
No joking now.
No smile.
She says—
“Ask him where he slept.”
I blink.
What?
Video Me nods.
“Ask.”
The video ends.
Black screen.
Kitchen reflection.
Me.
Holding the phone.
Silence.
I don’t move.
Kit doesn’t move.
Slowly—
I turn.
He looks uncomfortable.
Suspicious.
I narrow my eyes.
“…Where did you sleep?”
His eyes close.
Bad sign.
He rubs the back of his neck.
Then quietly—
“The couch.”
I blink.
“What?”
His voice stays calm.
“You get uncomfortable when I explain too much.”
I stare.
He looks embarrassed.
“So usually…”
He shrugs.
“…I stay nearby.”
Nearby.
I blink.
“How long?”
His eyes lower.
Long enough that I don’t want the answer.
Then—
“Three weeks.”
Silence.
I stare.
He adds quickly—
“Not because you asked.”
Pause.
Then—
“Because every time you woke up and didn’t remember…”
His voice lowers.
“…you looked afraid.”
Something in my chest hurts.
Immediately.
Stupidly.
I look away.
I hate that.
I grip the phone.
Then—
my thumb brushes the screen.
Another file appears.
Untitled.
Length: 00:42
Preview image—
Neil.
- Writer
