Stolen Soul

Chapter 1: Adopted

Lexi

I was adopted when I was a toddler.  I do not remember anything before being adopted, which I guess is a little strange considering I was 3 years old. My parents claim to not have any idea of who my birth parents are, and my adoption was completely closed.  As I have gotten closer to 18, I have become more and more curious about who my parents or relatives might be. My best friend, Stephanie suggested trying one of the ancestry DNA tests because some people have found long lost relatives that way.  I am thinking about it, but still sort of scared.  What if my birth parents are awful people or are dead, or in prison? Who gives up their healthy, happy toddler? 

The people that adopted me are great.  My mom, Helen, and my dad Tim are the most loving parents. They had two bio kids of their own my older brother, Steven who is 10 years older than me, and my older sister Ashley who is 3 years older than me.  I guess my parents had always wanted 3 children and had a really hard time conceiving my sister. Doctors told her that she would not be able to have any more children after Ashley’s birth, so they began to look into adoption.  After 6 long years they got me, I wasn’t a baby but they loved me like I was their own, and I was the baby of the family, but I was so different than my siblings.  I was stubborn, wild, and reckless; while my older siblings were thoughtful and well mannered.  

Mom would say I loved hard, played harder, and did everything at 110 percent. I did exceptionally well at school, a straight-A student, who could be found with my head in the books just as easily as finding me on the track.  I run cross country. It helps me get out all of my pent-up energy. Being inside for too long makes me antsy. I need something to help me relax, and running long and hard does that, it also helps me get out of my head about feeling different.  My best friend Stephanie was a track star, she always wanted me to compete in track too because I was fast, but running fast for a short distance wasn’t really my style.  Since I wasn’t on track, she was the fastest girl on the team, and I was easily the fastest on the cross-country team. 

My brother was athletic, he played high school basketball. He didn’t go to college on an athletic scholarship, but he was good enough to play varsity ball his senior year. I always admired my brothers drive, and would try and follow him around and get him to play with me.  He never did he was always annoyed with my sister and I, saying we messed up his things and were irritating.  I guess I wouldn’t really want to hang out with a 6-year-old and 3-year-old as a teenager either, but on the few occasions mom would force him to play tea party with me and Ashley we would get so excited, and let him have our juice boxes and cookies, aka tea and biscuits. 

My sister and I were a lot closer growing up. My sister is really into art and drama.  She was in the drama club, and goes to some art school now.  When we were younger, we hung out all of the time, even though we were so different.  She would say that she had to make me “cultured” somehow.  As we grew up, we grew apart. We just didn’t like the same things; we didn’t have anything in common. As kids that didn’t matter, we could both play hide and seek, or with dolls.  We would bake cookies with mom, and laugh at the same cartoon shows.  We she got into boys, and musicals I would roll my eyes at her, and honestly, I was probably a little too immature.  We talk more now; she wants to know if I am dating anyone, how school is going.  We still don’t have the same taste and movies or music, our hobbies are completely different and she became a vegan.  If she criticizes me one more time about my red meat “obsession” I might not talk to her for at least a month.

I figure it’s hard to be like your siblings when you’re adopted. But I felt like I was really different, not just about the things I liked, or how I ate, or what I looked like, but physiological differences.  I was faster, leaner, more agile.  My appetite was more, my smell keener, my eyesight better; and not in like a subtle way, like in I was different from everyone around me.  I just always felt out of place, like I was living in the wrong world. I often dreamed of wondering forests alone, when I told Stephanie about these dreams, she would ask if I felt scared because if she was wandering alone in the woods she would be scared.  I never felt scared though, I always felt at peace, like I belonged.  She thought it was a sign that I needed to travel, hike the forests, experience something new.  I figured it was just a dream.

The restlessness though was still there, so I left for college early.  I wanted to start with a few classes over the summer, I just felt like I needed to be anywhere but home.  I was drawn to Vermont, even though I had never been here.  It was just so different from the beach life I had grown accustomed to.  The smell was intoxicating. 

So, here I am summer term, at college at the University of Vermont. My roommate, Tinsley, is entitled.  She is the type of person who would eat your food out of the mini-fridge, and then count her envelopes to make sure you didn’t use one.  She is messy, juvenile, and made me miss home.  I never feel any sense of peace in my dorm room.  I avoid it like the plague.

I started driving to the woods outside of town.  It reminds me so much of my dreams.  Every time I feel restless, I come back to the woods.  After a few weeks of wondering, I found this beautiful stream. I keep coming back to this stream, it feels so peaceful, like I am supposed to be here.  The cool water on my feet as it laps to shore calms my soul. My 18th birthday is coming up, and the closer it gets the more I want to come back to this spot. 

 As I said, I’m weird, or "different" as my mom so lovingly puts it.