SOLD TO THE DEVIL

Chapter Four: Giana

The apartment door creaks when I push it open. I slide the chain into place and turn the deadbolt hard. It won’t stop someone determined to get in, but the habit is carved into me now, and after seeing Ronan at the restaurant I can’t risk taking chances.

My gaze drops to my children Mikhail and Alina eyes glued to the tv watching a show I don’t think they even understand, lying next to them on the sofa is my passed out brother Gio.

How long have they sat in front of the screen? I told Gio to make sure they don’t get excess screen but I guess he was still passed out drunk at that time also

He had one job babysit while I work and take care of us but still he still manages to mess it up every time and it hurts that I can’t do anything because I can’t afford to have a babysitter on stand by and I need the long hours and double shifts to make sure I keep the lights on.

I take a deep breath and cross the threshold. The smell hits me soon enough a mixture of stale cigarettes, cheap alcohol and something else sour and stale.

“Misha”

“Alina” I call out softly

Their eyes land on me and they run into my arms at the same time.

I hug them with every strength I can muster because they are the only reason I have the strength to get up every day.

“I’m here,” I murmur into their hair. “I’m here.”

Mikhail pulls back slightly, his little face too thoughtful for his age.

“Uncle Gio fell asleep,” he says quietly.

I close my eyes briefly.

“I see that.”

Alina frowns.

“He said he was just tired.”

My throat tightens.

“I’m sure he was.”

I stand slowly, keeping one hand on each of them as I guide them toward their room.

“Did you eat?”

They both nod

Alina yawns.

“I waited for you.”

Guilt slices through me.

“I know, baby.”

I tuck them into bed myself, smoothing their blankets, reading them their favourite bed time story for the hundredth time then press kisses to their foreheads.

Mikhail relaxes first.

Alina holds my finger until her breathing slows.

Only when they are asleep do I step back into the living room.

Gio hasn’t moved.

The bottle is still there,the past is still there waiting and I can not sure this time it won’t catch up with me.

I stare at him for a long moment.

Five years ago I gave everything to save him.

And sometimes, I wonder if he remembers.

I stand there for a moment longer, my arms wrapped tightly around myself like I’m trying to hold the pieces together. My body still feels tense, like danger followed me home and hasn’t realized it should leave.

Then I force myself to move.

The hallway floor creaks in the same place it always does, and I step over the loose board automatically. Survival habits. Always aware of every sound. Every weakness.

I head into the bathroom and close the door quietly behind me.

I need a shower.

Not because I’m dirty.

Because I feel like I am.

I turn the knob and wait as the pipes groan awake. This apartment always takes its time giving anything good. The water heater needs at least ten minutes before it stops running cold.

I lean against the sink and stare at my reflection while I wait.

Five years later and sometimes I still see that girl.

The girl who walked into a monster’s world because she had no other choice. The girl who traded pieces of herself just to keep the only family she had alive.

I tell myself I survived.

But some nights, the memory still sits heavy on my chest like something I can’t wash off.

I thought saving him would change things.

I thought sacrifice meant something.

My eyes drift toward the door, toward the living room where my brother sleeps off another bottle while I work double shifts to keep this life from collapsing.

And now Ronan Volkov is back.

My stomach twists.

All that running.

All that hiding.

All that rebuilding.

And one look from him tonight made me feel like that powerless girl again.

The water finally begins to steam slightly.

I step under the spray and close my eyes as warmth slowly replaces the chill in my bones. The pressure is weak, the curtain cheap, the tiles cracked but it’s mine. A life I built from nothing.

For Mikhail.

For Alina.

Always for them.

I press my forehead against the cool tile and breathe slowly.

He cannot find out.

He cannot know.

Because if Ronan Volkov discovers what I’ve been protecting all these years

I don’t know if I could survive him taking them away.

I need a planI need to run again and I need to do it fast.