I Swear I'm Not Crazy

18| Recover

I woke up to the sound of a piano playing once I opened my eyes and got the feel of being alive all the pain hit me like a truck. I grabbed a hold of my throbbing head, I turned to my left and then to my right once I saw Liam shirtless playing the piano all the pain kinda... went away.

The way he was moving made the muscles on his back pop a small smile appeared on my face once the beautiful music filled my ears. I finally got to hear him play...

I started to doze off once more, I just wanna eat some food.

Liam

The doorbell started to ring uncontrollably I rushed downstairs to open the door and who I saw was not surprising, "How is she? Is she still alive?" Rose says bombarding me with questions.

"Rose, you came here yesterday, she is in the same condition she was in yesterday. The medicine is still in her system," I say not letting her inside, God knows she will never leave if I let her in.

"I can't keep lying to her parents, saying she's spending a night at my house and her absences at school they're going to call her dad, and her mom! She has to spend time with her mom!"

"I know I get it, she will be up and ready in a week can you keep her parents off her ass for a little while?" I ask with a smile. "Please."

"Of course." She says and pauses like she was in deep thought she "OH!" She starts to dig in her backpack, "When she wakes up give her this." She says and pulls out skittles. "She loves these a lot and it might take her mind off of what happened to her... for a little while..." She says muttering the last bit.

"I'll be sure to give her these and," I pause. "You're a good friend. Nia's lucky to have you." I say messing up her hair. "Thanks. I'll see you later I guess." She says and waves at me before getting in her car.

I close the door and lock it and turn around to see my uncle. "She's up. I ran a warm bath for her she's inside now." He says with a worried look on his face. "How are you going to handle this Liam?" He lets out.

"I'll tell her to go far away from me."

Nia

Drip

Drop

Drip

Drop

The water from the faucet dripped into the filled bathtub, I heard a knock on the bathroom door, "Yo! are you still alive in there?"

I didn't answer him, I just stared at the bruises on my legs. I pulled my knees closer to my body, My heart hurts like f**k.

Did they... Take my innocence from me?

Tears started falling from my eyes I tried not to make a sound that made my throat hurt like hell.

"HEY!" He yelled.

The door busted open, I took a glance at him and covered my face in my knees.

He groaned out of annoyance, "Nia..." He sighed.

He walked closer to me, "You need to get out your going to shrivel up." He said in a stern voice.

I didn't look up, I didn't move.

He sucked in his breath. "Okay fine, you wanna be like that." He groaned.

He grabbed the towel and picked me up bridal style my eyes went wide, "H-hey what are you doing?!" I whispered dangling my legs in the air.

He placed me down on his bed the bed I've been knocked out in for three days. He started to look through his draw, he pulled out a black t-shirt, "Put this on." He threw the shirt at me.

"Okay," I whispered.

My eyes shifted from the black shirt to Liam looking at me with a questionable face, my vision started to glaze with a glassy layer of tears. I blinked, they dripped from my eyelids and slid down my cheeks. What's happening? I bit my lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from my mouth; my heart sank.

I could feel my lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of my mouth. "Everyone always f*****g betrays me what f**k is wrong with me." I began, yet what followed was engulfed in sadness. I started to hyperventilate every breath I saw a memory of that night.

"First it was my dad then Shay and Trey now him and who's next," I paused and looked up at Liam, "You?"

I quickly covered my face letting out soft sniffles and ugly sobs. "I swear I'm cursed."

He walked up to me slowly and pulled me closer to him wrapping his arms around me. His embrace was warm, and his big, strong arms seemed very protective when wrapped around my frail body. "You're not cursed people are just d***s, I'm sorry." He whispered. It felt like him hugging me made me cry, even more, he was like a magnet attracting all my emotions out of me. 

"Don't look at me I look like a wet rat right now." I let out, making him chuckle.

The world around me melted away as I squeezed him back, not wanting the moment to end.

Liam

What the f**k am I doing?

I took a glance at her she was asleep on the bed, I walked over to her and put the covers on her, I looked at the nightstand to an almost gone skittle packet. Those are going to be devoured in the morning.

I took off my shirt and started to make my way to the guest room. I was stopped when she grabbed a hold of my hand

I turned around she was sitting up with her eyes sunken low.

She looked down at the black covered blanket, "Can you sleep with me tonight." She whispered.

I sucked in my breath rubbing my temples, "You're so needy." I joked.

I crawled beside her into the covers, she faced my way her big green eyes facing my green dull once.

"My body hurts." She lets out more of a croak. "I bet it does."

"Did they--"

"No." I said cutting her off, "My aunt made sure." I let out giving her some recurrence.

"What's up Liam, like what is up with you." She questions.

I scoff shaking my head, "You don't wanna know."

She sat up in the bed, "I want to know." She states.

"Okay." I simply say.

"My father and my mother was murdered when I was a young I saw them... I saw them die."

"I can't get it out of my head that's why I take antidepressants," I pause swallowing the lump in my throat, "I want to forget so f*****g bad, but it's apart of me I can't get rid of it." I croak.

I stared at her in the eyes, "I want revenge."

I clenched my hands, "This is why I took over my fathers gang, I want to kill the bastard who did this to me to my family, I want him to suffer like I suffered." I say through gritted teeth.

She took a hold of my hand catching me by surprise, "Liam..." She softly says.

"I honestly don't know what to say."

"It's okay just lay down with me."

She leans back down, I hesitantly wrapped my arm around her.

Is this okay?

Can I do this?

"Why are you so calm about this?" I questioned, "You saw where I grew up at that neighborhood was never good, there were gangs all around me. At night I would here gunshots I tried to convince myself that they where fireworks, but they where just another human taking another life."

"Get out of it." She whispered moving in closer to my chest making me tense up. "It's dangerous." She yawned closing her eyes.

Nia

I moved my hand around the bed, I slowly open my eyes to see an emptiness beside me. I roll over on my back and stare at the ceiling.

Where is he?

The door burst open making me shoot my head up, "I need you to leave." He says not looking at me and throws my clothes onto me.

I looked at him weird, "What?" I chuckle.

He looks my way but trying to avoid eye contact, "Are you deaf?" He snaps.

Right now he's looking like the first time I met him, cold, scary, emotionless.

I slowly sit up staring at my dangling feet, "Stop looking like that." I mutter lifting my head up.

"Nia." He says and walks towards me grabbing a hold of my hands, "Leave."

I push him away from me and stand up, "No! Not until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you." I shout holding onto my stomach, Ow. "One moment you're hugging me to sleep the next, you're kicking me out! The hell type of bullshit is that?"

"We're not dating, I don't have to explain myself to you." He hesitated, turned and walked to the window.

"What the f**k is wrong with you?" I stepped closer. "Come on don't push me away... You don't have to protect me, Liam." I reached out to place a hand on his back. He flinches turns around and pushes past me, "I can care less about what happens to you! I don't want you near me!"

I glared at him, "You're lying!"

"If that's what you wanna believe then damn your much more lonely then I thought."

"What are you trying to say?!"

"What I'm trying to say is, I don't want you around anymore, all I ever wanted was to get in your pants. Go cling onto the next guy you see."

I walk up to him and slap him, "You're so full of it!" I shout he grabs a hold of me and forcefully backs me up against the wall, "Can you put your stubbornness aside for once in your f*****g life and get the hell out!" He snaps fixing his grip on my shoulders even tighter, I look at him appalled.

"What? Did you think I actually liked you? You were just a bet I failed, so I don't want you around anymore."

I look away from him, "You're lying because," I pause swallowing the lump in my throat and stare at his wondering eyes, "You haven't looked me in the eye this whole time."

"Look me in the eye and tell me to disappear from your life."

He looks at me in the eye, making my heart break, Come on look away... please.

"Nia." He starts, I shake my head holding back my tears, "P-please don't..." I choke.

"Disappear from my life."

I grabbed a hold of my heart, why the hell does it hurt so much, I didn't like him, right?

He cleared his throat letting go of me, "I called Rose... She's outside right now." He says like nothing just happened, why is he acting like everything is okay? It's not okay!

I'm not okay.

"Last night you said I wasn't cursed, I think I am." I ran passed him clenching onto my heart, my throat is stinging like hell.

"Nia-" I run pass Mrs. Holmes and out the door, I hop into roses car, "Nia! where are your clothes..."

I let out a cry and cry harder than I have ever imagined and I hear his last words playing over and over in my head. disappear from my life.

I cover my face with my hands, "I-I think I was in love with Liam and I didn't know." I mumble.

"H-He just broke me!" I cry, "He broke me I didn't e-even know that was possible!"

Rose embraced me into a hug, "It's okay." She reassured.

"Then why do I feel so shitty?"

XX X XX X

"You can't keep living like this Liam." I turned around from the window, "Like what?" I question, knowing what he is taking about.

"Like a s**t show? A f*****g idiot."

"Yes and yes but that's not what I'm taking about." He walked closer to me, "stop pushing people away, you've been doing this your whole life."

"It's doing you no good, You need to live be a teenager before it's too late." He says and walks out of my room.

I will once I kill Ryder.