I Swear I'm Not Crazy

20| What's That Prayer You Say Before Dying?

"Do you want to go clubbing tonight?" I asked Rose on the other end of the line.

"Aren't we underage?"

"Yeah but, we can just sneak in!!" I chuckle, "Are you crazy?"

"Maybe."

I'm not going to lie I'm a little high right now, I think I'm in the depression stage of grievance I don't know that's what google said. Plus, I don't want to be in that house tonight my dad  is going crazy, I don't know why he left us for fourteen years, why does he care?

Rose walked up to me and grabbed my shoulders and started to examine my face, "Your high." she states.

"But I'm on the ground." I joke.

She grabs a hold of my hand and pulls me out the cafeteria, "This is a very strict school if any teacher catches a whiff or a look into your eyes you would get expelled immediately."

"If this school is so strict why in the hell is Liam still here?" I chuckle, "Good question." She says rummaging through her locker, she faces me holding bath and body works strawberry perfume.

She sprays it on me, maybe a little too much cause I started to cough my lungs out, she pulls out her phone, "Who you texting?" I question taking a peak, "Cole." She says.

"About?"

"To come over here and give you some eye drops of course!"

I start to laugh, "Oh my God you're so PG"

"Whats that suppose to mean?!"

"What I just said, you are so innocent you never get into trouble."

"I get into trouble!!"

"When was the last time?"

"I-Um...Oh! I got a A- on a project one time, that got me grounded for a whole week."

I stare at her with a blank expression, "Do you need me to call child protective services because... Your parents are loco, do they even know that your dating an alleged gang banger?"

She opened her mouth and then closed her mouth, "No, why the hell would I tell them that, so I can get my ass whooped, not today!"

"I got the eye drops!!" Cole says rushing towards us, "Our savior." Rose says with a dreamy look in her eyes, "Someone rip my eyes out." I say and grab the eye drops out of his hands.

"So, party tonight at that club called Mathafacka."

"Fine!!"

After school Rose drove me home the whole time she was lecturing me on to not do reckless things like smoking in school or you will get expelled. She sounded like my mom...

I unlocked the front door and entered the kitchen to see my dad poring vodka in a mug, "Why are you being so dramatic, it's not like you cared about mom." I blurt out not feeling sorry for saying that.

I placed my book bag on the chair, he stared at me before taking a sip of vodka, "I'm not in the mood for your mouth." He grumbled walking past me.

"Right! You're too busy drinking your life away for no reason because, you didn't even care about her." I said, turning towards him.

He turned around, "What the hell is your problem!?" He snapped.

"Umm..." I hummed, "Leaving us for thirteen years, the list goes on and on." I say.

He scoffed, "You are unbelievable I did a lot for you and this is how your treating me."

I stared at him in disbelief, "A lot for me? You f*****g left me for thirteen f*****g years if you think that's doing a lot then s**t, wow, thank you!"

"Whatever." He muttered taking another sip, I don't know that just got me even madder, "STOP DRINKING LIKE YOU GIVE A f**k! BECAUSE YOU DON'T!!" I shouted and slapped the mug out of his hand, "WHAT THE f**k NIA!" He shouted pushing me away from him.

He placed his hands on both my shoulder and stared at me in the eye with sad eyes, "YOU ACT LIKE YOUR THE ONLY ONE WHO CARED!!" He shouted slightly shaking me, "I cared, I cared a lot! Do you think I'm proud of leaving you two all these years?"

"No!" He says answering his own question, I stared at him tearing up. "I regret everything I've done up to this point." He says in a low whisper, "I don't need you telling me that I f****d up, I tell myself that every f*****g day."

"Don't feed me this bullshit." I mutter moving his arms off of me, "You didn't even come to the funeral, you didn't comfort me when I was starving myself for three days." I said with a dry laugh, "Don't stand here and act like you care because if you did, you would have been there when I needed you instead of drowning your lungs in liquor at some club downtown."

I pushed past him and ran upstairs into my room in tears.

Liam

"Oh come on! Can't you just stay here with me? I can take care of you all night long you know..." Stacey said with a flirty voice, looking at me with lust in the eyes.

"This was just a hook up Stacey, plus, I'm going out tonight with the guys." I stated, taking the towel off my lap and putting on a pair of black jeans and a white shirt. She sat up in my bed, frustrated by what I just said. "And also, how the heck did you even get into my house?" I questioned.

"Where's my bra?" She asked coldly, making it very clear that I just upset her.

"Probably where you left it." I answered sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and got out of my bed, completely naked, searching for her clothes. I looked the other way and started putting on my sneakers.

I looked up my gaze fell on her body, I'm not gonna lie, she's hot, but, she's such a b***h. I like girls like, Nia...I mean, who wouldn't right?

"Will you stop looking at me like that? You said you didn't want a second round." She said while buttoning her dress. 

"Maybe when your done toying with Nia, you'll find out I was always the one." She says and walks out my room.

Like I said, a b***h.

About an hour later, Cole, Mason, and I entered the club, we are only here to a do a job, we were suppose to meet someone here to talk business.

Some girl walked up to Mason and she started to play with his hair, Mason wasn't fazed at all.

"Two shots of vodka please." Cole ordered while I was looking at the pretty girls shaking their butts on the dance floor. Most of them look good in their short skirts or tight-fitting dresses.

My jaw dropped when I saw Nia move her body to the sound of the music. I stared at her for God knows how long, in a complete state of shock.

Shit.

"I forgot they where gonna be here." Cole chuckles. "Time to go see my favorite girl."

I grabbed a hold of his arm, "Remember what where here for."

Liam

"HEY YOU GUYS!!!!!" I hear Nia shout, she was clearly drunk, "I'm gonna go scout out the place, you can handle her drunk ass." Mason says leaving me alone with her.

She started to shake her hips to the beat, "Come on dance with me Liam." She cheerfully says and grabs a hold of my hands.

I'm suppose to be on a job but, f**k it.

I came closer to her and wrapped my hands around her waist, placing my chin in her neck, I started to kiss her.

"What are you doing?" She asked but didn't push me away.

I twirled her around facing me, my eyes lingered at her lips, I've realized I haven't kissed her yet, this is the longest I've never kissed a girl.

"Auntie, how would I know if I love a girl?" I ask as I wash the dishes, "Wheres this coming from?" She says with a smirk, "Um, I- I don't know... I think I might be in love but, I don't know."

"When your in love you just wanna be with that person all day everyday, you find yourself thinking about that person at odd times or when your alone. You'll probably even kill for the one you love, love knows no limits."

I stared into her green eyes, s**t, I think I might just be in love.

I started to lean in we where inches apart when, "I have to go to the bathroom." she blurted out.

I watched as she walked away from into the crowed, "I just got c**k blocked by her f*****g bladder." I mumbled.

I started to lean on the wall, alone, beating myself up, What if she hates me in the morning? I yell at her and tell her to leave, but, I was just protecting her but, she doesn't know that.

"f**k! I just set myself up for failure!!" I blurt out.

My phone started to ring.

What is it now?

"What's up, Mason?"

"GET OUT OF THERE NOW!" Mason yelled through the phone, "Ryder rounded up some guys and he's coming there now."

I was about to respond when all of a sudden gun shots filled the club making me quickly reach for my gun. everyone started to scream and run every which way.

"LIAM!"

"LIAM!"

The people behind the bar jumped over, some guy came in front of me attempting to hit me with his bat I dodged and punched him in the gut once he went to hold his stomach, I kicked him in his head he was on his knees I shot him in the head.

I looked around the club, looking for Nia.

Where the hell are you?!

Nia

"THEY SHOOTING!!!" Someone screamed

I walked back into the bathroom, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and dialed Liam's phone number, my head started getting dizzy. Why did this happen while I'm dead drunk?

"Please pick up!" I repeated over and over again. He didn't pick up, I called Rose and she didn't pick up either, I looked at my batter three percent.

"Shit."

I looked around the bathroom, I saw a window!

I hopped out of the window, I heard more gun shots. I saw Rose out front looking for me "ROSE!!" I shouted with a smile on my face I went running to her. The shooting didn't stop, before I even got to her she dropped to the floor. "ROSE!!" I shouted. 

I looked at the shooter. Ski mask on, only thing showing was His eyes. His Cold, hazel brown eyes. Before I could run to Rose someone yanked me back, I turned around face a tall muscular man, "LET GO OF ME!" I screamed tears spraying from my eyes, "GET OFF OF ME!!" I cried, "I-I have to get to my friend, my best friend, someone just shot her!" I cry trying to get free from his strong grasp.

"You know I can't do that Nia."

I did a double stare at him, "How do you know my name?!" I questioned. "I've been watching you, Liam sure has been very fond of you."

"I'm pretty sure he's talking about me as well, the names Ryder."

One time when I was walking the stairs I tripped and fell down two flights of stairs, landing on my back. It was as if the impact had knocked every wisp of air from my lungs, and I lay there struggling to inhale, to exhale, to do anything.

That's how I feel now, trying to remember how to breathe, unable to speak, totally stunned as the name bounces around inside my skull.

"Your friend, I'm pretty sure someone would find her lifeless body."

THUNK

The sound of the back of a gun hitting my skull echoed in my head. I felt woozy. As I start to sink to the floor grasping my throbbing head in pain, I start to see colorful and black spots slowly block my vision until it is totally dark. I might really be killed.

"Rose..."

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