Every fibre of my being was a wreck. Not that you could tell.
On the outside, I was steadfast and composed. Helping Helen, along with Talia, amble along the corridor towards the hospital. Wanting to move faster to see if there was any hope that had been salvaged from today. Not wanting to move any faster to be confronted with the horrible truth.
That is what I felt on the inside. That I would lose my sister and my nephew. All because I failed to see Nicole's true intentions. That name - it left a sour taste in my mouth as I felt my blood boil. I trusted her. We all did. And she betrayed every single one of us.
I am glad I killed her - you do not come after my pack, and you certainly do not come after my family. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. Maybe, if I had seen who she really was then I could have prevented this from happening.
"Jason. Talia. Helen." Clarke's voice calls to us from the other end of the corridor as he made his way towards us. When Adelaide and Maeve teleported Abby to the hospital, he and a few other warriors quickly ran through the pack house to make sure there was no more unwanted visitors.
"Any news?" My eyes pleaded with him despite my voice maintaining a neutral tone... just.
The slow shake of his head nearly broke my exterior. "It is too soon to tell. The surgery has only just started - Dan and Siobhan are trying to get Asher out as quick as they can whilst Dr. Moss is trying to see if there is any hope of bringing Abby back."
"And is there?" Helen whimpered. She was like me - wanting to grab onto any glimmer of hope there was.
"I... I cannot answer that truthfully." His eyes turned to the ground as he spoke, not wanting to look at us. "I am sorry."
I pull Helen towards my chest as fresh tears fell from her face. The torment she was going through - that we were all going through - how she was still standing, I have no idea.
"Where is Colt?" I turn my eyes back to Clarke as I stroke the Helen's back, hoping she will feel some warmth in these dark times; Talia was rubbing small circles on Helen's back as well as she tried to ease the pain.
"Adelaide and Maeve were talking to him outside the operating theatre before I came out here. He was a mess on the floor. I thought he was bad when Abby was taken but this..." His words trailed away.
He shakes his head and turns to me. "The hospital is a bit packed at the moment, but if you want to be there, I will help find somewhere peaceful for you to wait."
"Thank you, Clarke." We give each other a nod, one that was firm but was also trying to give each other a morale boost to get us through these dark times.
He leads us through into the hospital. Every member of our pack seemed to be in here. All chipping in to try and help the wounded. And... there were a few people who had been moved to one side with a blanket over their body. One I did not need much to tell who it was, since their dark hair in corn rows peaked out from underneath.
Austin... my Beta... rest well my friend.
"The dining hall is clear and ready." Tina bursts in behind us. She was looking as dishevelled as ths rest of us but her determination shown through. "You may begin to move anyone you can."
"You heard her. Anyone with minor injuries, make your way to the dining hall. The hospital is going to be prioritised for severe cases." Clarke bellows to everyone present.
We stand aside as a small train of people start to shuffle slowly by.
"Is it wise to send them away from here? Even if they are minor injuries, surely they still need to be monitored?" Helen asks quizically beside me.
"Actually, we have done this before." I smile at her. "Your daughter suggested this very idea a few days ago. It is nice to see everyone really adapt and take to it, given the circumstances." I let a smile grace my face.
Yes, we never want people to injured, or worse, but to see people use an idea that Abby had without any of the rank leaders say so just shows how much they respected her. And that is considering a large portion of them hated her a few months ago.
"Here." Clarke hands me a pair of shorts to slip on as he points to the room nearby. "They are going to lead Abby and Asher into that room once the surgery is complete. I would wait in there until then."
I put the shorts on before shaking his hand. "Want to wait with us? I mean, you were close with her too."
He pauses. You could see the start of a tear begin to form at the corner of his eye before he brushes it away. "I need to stay distracted. And with Adelaide pre-occupied, I am going to help ferry patients and supplies between here and the dining hall. But, I appreciate the gesture."
We let go of each other's hands before parting. I steer Helen towards the room Clarke had pointed out.
To her, this was just like any other hospital room. To me, this was where they had Beta Austin for the last few days. And now... to see his body lying in the waiting area on the ground... it does not fill me with any confidence.
Entering the room, I guide Helen to the seat next to the bed. It was so sterile this place, such a contrast to everything going on outside these four walls. I muse to myself as I stare outside the window. The direction it faced was away from the courtyard and so was not in view of the main battle. However, you could still see some bodies scattered around the place.
The clean up process would not start until all of the wounded were at least tended to. So, I stared at the fallen - both Hunters and pack members alike.
"This is unbearable." Helen sighs from behind me. She was not wrong. My hands were clenched on window sill as I tried to keep calm. "My head cannot process all of this. It is just a nightmare. I just want to wake up!"
I catch her reflection in the window - Talia is sitting on the arm of the chair and is coddling Helen into her chest. They were both trembling.
"I could give anything for this to be a nightmare, Helen. But sadly for us, we live nightmares like this on a frequent basis." Talia meeks out in pain. I could see it in her eyes. She was not just referring to today. Talia has lived for around one hundred years. Today, was just another attack to add to the never ending list.
Helen pulls back slightly, turning her head to look between our faces. "Abby has mentioned what has happened to her in the last few months. Before the ceremony..." She goes deep in thought. I couldn't help but let out a small smile through my sadness as she was pulling the exact same face Abby pulls when she gets lost in her thoughts.
Oh Abby... come back to us...
Helen turns towards my direction, studying me from head to toe. She could see all the scars and bruises I had, including the one I have carried across my torso for my entire life.
Her eyes eventually connect with mine. "Jason, tell me about your life."