DESIRE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

WINTER BRAY

Love.

Snowflake.

I couldn't help but smile like a fool. Who would have thought, Theo Cohen, the guy who looked emotionless, could make me smile considering everything that was going on? I never imagined myself to hug him, and to get hugged back. Plus, he actually listened to what I had to say like he understood. Was it a mistake to be such a wimp in front of him? Only time would tell.

"What are you smiling about, Honey?" My mother's voice suddenly popped up from beside me. I hadn't even heard her come inside.

"I- It's almost December." I lied, trying to sound as convincing as possible. I didn't want my mum to know the real reason. I had never talked to my mother much about boys, but every time the subject came up, my mother would always exaggerate with everything and start on telling me things which I didn't need to know.

"Really?" She answered questioningly with her eyebrow raised "So, it's not something else?" I shook my head, twisting back to look outside my window. I knew if I kept looking at her, I would eventually tell her everything.

"It's my birthday soon," I claimed, still looking outside. My mother knew I hated my birthday, but maybe. Just maybe, she forgot.

"But you don't even like your birthday, so why would you be smiling about it?" Crap. My mother knew me so well. I hated my birthday for one reason. Attention. I had never been a big fan of attention and would never be. The thought of me doing public speaking made me dizzy. As well as everyone's eyes on me.

"I- Erm- I have changed," I replied a little too rapidly. I turned to look at my bookshelf and did everything not to make eye contact. I ran my fingers over the spines, and let another smile form on my lips.

My mother came up beside me and looked at the books with me "You know, Honey-" My mother started softly as she twirled around to face me "- I know you don't like your birthday, and that will never change. But if there's something you want to tell me, then please do not be afraid to do so." I loved my mum like nobody else, and my father of course.

"Well, now you mention it." I stated, playing with my hands "It wasn't my birthday, I smiled about." Maybe I should tell her. The only thing she could do was making me invite Theo over for dinner.

"I could tell." My mum grinned at me "Winter, you never tell your father and me anything. Not about the school, friends, or just how you feel. We're starting to worry." Her tone suddenly became serious. I knew, I never told much about how things were going. Not that I didn't want to, but somehow, I just told them the easy answer.

"I know." I felt extremely guilty. I always stayed in my room and never told them about things I should've, but on the other hand. The things I desperately wanted to tell, were things I promised myself to keep a secret.

"Things are good at school, I made a few friends." I started, sitting on my bed. My mum's eyes twinkled with delight "Nadora is someone who I would consider as my best friend. Altin, he's a good friend as we-"

"A boy?!" My mother interrupted. Her hands were covering her mouth, with her eyes wide.

"He's just a friend." I rolled my eyes.

"What does he look like? You know what, invite him over. I'll make some of my famous lasagnas," I sighed "Is he sweet? Do you like him?"

"Mum, stop!" She did as I told her, surprisingly enough "We're friends. Nothing more, nothing less." She nodded in understanding.

"Well, there must be someone who has made your heart beat slightly faster just by their voice or when they look at you." I mother exclaimed. I thought about how Theo had made my heart beat faster. Every time he would look my way, or when he said my name. The way he would talk to me as if we were back in time. He made me feel things when he was close to me. Nervous? Yes, but also safe, but then again, deep down I knew that becoming more than friends was impossible.

"I don't know. I haven't been here for that long." I sighed. I didn't want my mum to know anything about Theo. I decided against it. I didn't even know what this meant. I had felt nothing like this. Furthermore, I didn't know what Theo felt, or if he thought of me the same way, I thought of him. Sure, I considered him as my friend, but did he consider me as his?

"I know, Hon." My mother replied. Soon after, she left my room, leaving me to my own thoughts. Thinking about everything that happened today, I felt weak. If Theo could handle every rumour about him, then I could handle it too. I had been through worse.

I hadn't seen Nadora all day at school. We hadn't talked at all, and I got concerned that something had happened. The possibility of her being sick, was big since December was nearing like a storm. I, myself, could feel the cold weather affecting me.

Next morning, I certainly felt the December sickness. My throat was sore, my head was pounding in my ears and I already knew. The flu had invaded. I groaned loudly as I remembered. I had to go to school. Even though I was sick, there was no way, I could skip my classes today. I had a big test which I just couldn't miss.

I got ready as fast as I could. I wore tight black jeans, a big, beige, oversized sweatshirt, to keep me warm from the cold. My shoes were the same white shoes as I always wore. I had gotten ready without waking up my parents which weren't something that happened often.

Just as I was about to close the door and go to school, both my mum and dad woke up just in time "Honey, is that you?" I heard my mother call from their bedroom. I groaned mentally. My throat was still sore from this morning, and even though I had a cup of tea, it still burned.

I coughed a few times, and cleared my throat "Yeah, it's me."

My parents weren't at work due to their jobs. They were both going on a business trip since they worked together. I had convinced them both to go since it was an important trip. They were supposed to catch their flight soon, so it didn't surprise me they woke just now.

"Good morning, Honey." My father greeted me. I smiled and gave him a hug. My father, Grant, was like a normal family father, only that he was away most of the time. His dark brown hair had become messy from sleeping, but his blue eyes still twinkled. Working the job he did had some consequences, but he still loved his job, nonetheless.

"Morning," I replied with my voice failing me miserably. I coughed at a few more times before smiling at my loving parents again.

"Honey, are you alright?" My mother's voice cut in, sounding worried "You look pale, and why are your eyes puffy?"

I sniffled before answering her. I hadn't even noticed my eyes being puffy, I silently hoped it wasn't too bad "I'm fine. It's just the December sickness. It wanted to give me a visit." I replied jokingly, but I knew my parents were serious. They hated being sick more than anything, just as much as I did.

"You really don't look well, Sweetheart." My father continued, and my mum nodded as a way of saying 'he's right' "I think when I say this, your mother will agree with me. You should take a sick day." I sighed loudly. My father knew how to make good decisions, so he was probably right about this one too.

"I have a big test today, and an assignment to hand in. I'll come home after that," I tried to bargain.

"Okay but come home right after your done with everything important," My mother begged.

"Olive, I'm sure Winter will be fine going to school for a bit. However, Winter, you come home right after, and go to bed," My dad raised a brow at me, and I nodded my head, knowing I didn't have a say in this.

"And, Honey. We probably already left when you come back." My mother reminded me "If something happens, you call, okay?" I loved my parents, but they were both so overprotective like everything had to go as smoothly as ever. I knew, they only meant the best for me, but sometimes I needed space. They shouldn't worry; they should trust that I did the right thing.

"I love you guys," I said with a smile. I gave them a hug. Just as I was about to close the door, I saw my dad wrapping his hands around my mother's waist and gave her a kiss. I smiled, even though they had been together for so long, they still looked like two newfound lovers. I secretly hoped for the same thing someday.

After what seemed like the most awful walk to school, I finally arrived in one piece. The buzzing sound from all the students didn't exactly help my situation. My headache hadn't gone away even though I took painkillers. The voices were getting louder for every step I took. I ignored the stares and the pain and walked over to my locker.

"Winter!" I snapped my head in the direction of the voice. I narrowed my eyes, to make the figure clear. My head pounded even more now, and then I started to cough like crazy.

Nadora came walking down to me, with a smile, but I could tell it was fake. I was the world's best at fake smiling "Wow, you look like shit." She said straight up to my face. I narrowed my eyes at her. I'm not the nicest person to be around when being sick. Never have been, never will be.

"Thanks, you look great too," I responded sarcastically while rolling my eyes at her. I swear I heard her gasp when she heard the note of my voice. I guess she got a little surprised to hear me sounding so impolite.

"Wow, being together with Theo certainly have made you act like a b***h," She muttered. I knew she wanted me to hear. She wanted a little payback of some sort by provoking me.

I smacked my locker shut and turned toward her "Excuse me?" I asked. I took my hands to my head to stop the pounding, but it didn't help... Neither did my thoughts.

"Why were you with him, Winter? I told you to be careful!" She accused me, being way too loud as she spoke. I sighed closing my eyes shut "And what's the s**t about you two sleeping together? Really? I didn't think you would sleep with him of all people,"

"First of all, Theo and I wrote our assignment. Second, it's really stupid to believe rumours, when they're not even true," I coughed, then continued "Third, I didn't sleep with him, but of course, you believe everything about what's going on at this school," I closed my locker as I continued to cough like crazy. I did really sound like a dead cat.

"So, you didn't sleep together?" Nadora asked, now with her voice small. She too had mood swings.

"No, we're friends, Nadora." I repeated in a hoarse voice "But you know what, he was the only one who was willing to let me cry on his shoulder, so thank you for being there. I appreciated it." My expression was sour, probably with my lips in a thin line, eyes narrowed.

"What?" Nadora's expression was far more shocked than one I had ever seen, but it quickly changed to a guilty expression "I'm sorry, I wasn't there. I might have confronted Theo myself, and then slapped him out of anger, but he told me to ask you for confirmation..." She stopped, glancing at me. Now speaking with a voice I almost couldn't hear "He was right, of course. I'm sorry for being so dramatic, but the things about Theo just gets worse. It doesn't help that he's a loner a freak-" She stopped once she saw my face.

I was angry. For her being so judgemental about everything, about myself and my thoughts about Theo and this stupid headache which wouldn't go away.

"One, can you try not to be so judgemental? You know nothing about his history, his past. Everyone deserves a chance. One's future shouldn't get decided off of rumours. I mean, are we in kindergarten or what?" She kept quiet this time "Two, how dare you slap him? This is not some movie; this is real life. It could end up having some dangerous effects for you Nadora. Now, let's let it go and move on,"

"I just thought, he had hurt you, and I don't always think things through..." I sighed at Nadora's statement. Of course, she wouldn't hesitate to slap someone, and the fact that she didn't think before acting, didn't surprise me either "Let's move on. You don't look so well."

"Just the flu." I waved it off.

"But you look pale, your eyes are puffy, and you sound like a dead cat." She declared, crossing her arms over her chest, giving me a 'don't lie to me' look. Now, the Nadora I knew was back. Suddenly, Altin appeared out of nowhere and attacked me with a hug, making me stumble.

"Hey, Snowball." He greeted softly, gently. Altin's arms were still around me, I wrapped my arms around him. The warmth wasn't the same as when Theo gave me a hug. This didn't feel the same. It felt strange to hug Altin, I didn't know why. Maybe because hugging 'new people' was something I didn't do much of "I'm sorry about those rumours-" Altin let go of me and studied my face "-You look ill, are you okay?"

"She's not feeling good." Nadora cut in before I had a chance to answer. I gave her my best glare and sighed.

"Do you need me to take you to the school nurse?" Altin asked in concern. I smiled at him, suddenly feeling a warmth in my heart. For the first time in a long time. I felt a little more home with him and Nadora by my side.

"No, I just need to hand in the assignment for Mr Hendrix' class and take my math test. Then I can go home." I replied and gave both Altin and Nadora a smile. There were a few more minutes before the bell rang, and I needed to hand in the assignment before then.

I excused myself from Altin and Nadora and went to hand in the assignment. People still stared and whispered, but I had been through worse, that was what I reminded myself every time someone would mutter something as I walked past. I must admit, it shocked me to see rumours rocked this school. Now, everyone knew the name, Winter Bray.