DESIRE

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

WINTER BRAY

Groaning, I slowly opened my eyes, only to close them shut again. They burned. My body felt like it had been stabbed all over with a thousand daggers. My throat was drained and required water. Plus, I couldn't figure out if I was too warm or too cold.

Opening my eyes again, it didn't burn or hurt. Everything was just a blur. My body felt limp as I laid on the soft surface underneath me. My eyes focused as I continued to blink. Then I suddenly realised, I didn't know where I was, nor could I remember anything from the night before. Panicking, I got up from the bed in a blink of an eye. Only to collapse onto the floor in pain. The thing about the daggers certainly was true. Arms, legs, elbows, hands, mouth, feet. Everything hurt. I felt my anxiety increased as the feeling of helplessness appeared to overpower me.

Trying to be faint with my cries of agony, I bit down into my hand, clenching my eyes shut as I did. I tasted something warm, like metal. A gasp escaped my lips when I saw the marks of my teeth on my skin. Blood poured slowly from my hand, and I continued to stare frozen with my mouth agape.

The blood was on my teeth, but I didn't remove it. I let my own thump slide over the bite. It didn't hurt, which surprised me. I felt nothing. My brows furrowed in confusion to why I couldn't feel the pain, which I had caused myself. My tongue slowly licked across my teeth and caught the taste of blood.

The feeling of shame or disgust never came. The blood didn't taste like I thought it would. Normally, this would have been wrong. Who would taste their own blood? But now, was the first time I had noticed the deep taste. The darker undertone of the red liquid. The way it felt on my lips. So thick. So warm.

Pain again erupted in my mouth. Crying in pain, I placed my hands over my mouth, but it hurt. My teeth felt like they were being ripped out, but I could only wait for it to stop. I felt the tears gathering in my eyes, and I let them fall. How could this hurt so much?

Suddenly, the door burst open, but I didn't take notice because of the pain. I felt myself being picked up from the ground "It hurts." I whimpered as tears continued to fall. I guess being blinded by pain was a thing, considering I didn't fight as I got picked up.

"I know, Love." The unknown, but so familiar voice acknowledged. To say, it sounded well-rested would be lying. The voice sounded hoarse, extremely exhausted. Suddenly, I felt the soft surface underneath me again. I opened my eyes as I felt something cold against my lips. Everything was blurry again, but after a long while, my eyes focused. A cup came into my sight. My brows furrowed, and when I looked further up, my eyes widened.

"Drink. You need to be hydrated." Theo said while nodding towards the cup in his hand. To say, I was shocked, was an understatement. What was he doing here? Shirtless?! I couldn't take my eyes off his chest or just him in general. He looked flawless. Now, I understood why the girls in the corner had drool running down their chins when he first turned up at school with no sunglasses. I couldn't stop looking. He was wearing nothing but sweatpants.

Sweat. Pants.

Snapping out of my staring, and my very inappropriate thoughts. Theo looked at me with a shy smirk on his face. I quickly took the cup and looked away, with a face blushed crimson. But then my mind started to wander off as well as my sweaty palms returning. What happened?

"You should drink something," Theo muttered faintly. I took a glance at him, even with dark circles under his eyes, his handsome features still shone. I quickly glanced away, feeling yet another blush creeping in on me.

As the first few drops of water hit my tongue, its wetness overwhelmed me. I had never been this thirsty. Once the rest of the water was drunken, confusion invaded my mind again. More questions, which I never would get the answers to. We sat in silence, none of us knew what to say. Well, that was a lie. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but how could I say it? I couldn't just interrogate him, not yet at least.

"You're thinking about something." Theo's tired voice snapped me out of my thoughts, glad that he was the one to break the silence between us.

"How could you tell?" I replied, glancing up at him for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"You get this small, little wrinkle in the middle of your forehead as you furrow your brows, and you stare into space. Letting your own thoughts consume you. It's quite fascinating." Theo responded without hesitation. I felt the heat rising to my cheeks by his words. To know how much he had been observing me was a little odd, but I couldn't help but smile like a stupid schoolgirl in seventh grade.

Silence took over again when none of us said anything. It wasn't an awkward silence, but a quieter and a nicer one. My thoughts continued to wander off, and to my guess, Theo's were doing the same.

"How do you feel?" He suddenly broke the comfortable silence. Again.

"Where am I?" I dodged his question with my own. I was in a state of anxiety and feeling somewhat comfortable.

"Someplace safe." I should have known a good answer wasn't something, I could get from Theo. He had never given me one, so why would he now?

"Right then," I said annoyed. I didn't want to look Theo in the eye, not that I was capable of doing much of it, anyway. Somehow, he seemed, even more, intimidating with his chest exposed. I looked down into the cup, pulling my knees to my chest. I sighed in frustration as I shook my head. I should have known better about everything.

Feeling Theo's thump under my chin, he made me look up into his so mesmerising eyes. He was much closer now, and my breath hitched. I took a quick glance at his lips, and then at his toned chest. Meeting his eyes again, they had become darker. Everything which I felt for him came rushing to the surface, it was almost too much. Him being so close, his hot breath lingering on my face, his so intimidating eyes staring right back at mine.

"So many things have happened, Winter." Theo started, and I sighed. Why did this sound familiar? "I want to tell you everything, so badly an-"

"Then why don't you? Why keep me in the dark all the time? It's really frustrating," I broke him off, trying not to sound irritated by this situation.

"I'm not sure you can handle it- "

"You must be joking, Theo!" I snapped. One moment his mysterious act was charming, the next I wanted to smack it right off "I wake up in a room. I don't know where I am and can't remember anything from the night before! And you won't tell me anything! You're still keeping secrets from me, and I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do. What about my parents? What will they think when I didn't return home and call them as planned?"

"Winter, could you please relax?" Theo begged me softly, and suddenly my mouth sealed shut due to his new way of speaking "Your body has been through so much, and I don't know how much more it'll be able to handle,"

"What do you mean?" I responded quietly as I felt my throat becoming drier for each moment of silence which passed between us.

Theo took his face in his hands, sighing. When he glanced up again, he didn't look at me. He looked down. My eyes followed, and suddenly I realised I had by accident exposed my wrists. My blood ran cold, and I felt a lump in my throat. My breathing became heavier and heavier, and tears gathered once again in my eyes. No one was supposed to know. No one. I gulped down the lump in my throat and quickly hid my wrists underneath the sheets. I felt my body shaking, trembling. How could I have been so stupid?

"Winter, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It shows how you overcame a big struggle and how you survived," Theo said cautiously taking my hands from under the sheets, but I retreated my hands hurriedly.

"It shows weakness, and-"I didn't even get to finish my sentence before my voice cracked. The tears rolled down my cheeks "-they are ugly, and they will be there forever." I desperately sought to cover my face with my hands, I had shown too much weakness.

I found myself in the warm embrace of Theo Cohen in the blink of an eye. My body tensed as well as I felt my breath hitch. He had never been this close before. The heat from his body transferred to my skin as I got hugged tighter. It was like his skin burned me because of how warm Theo's skin was. Once again my mind wandered back to the time where our fingers brushed against each other, and his skin was lifelessly cold.

We sat in silence for a good while, but then Theo broke it "I want to tell you everything." He muttered in the crook of my neck, and I felt the shivers going through me, and I gulped.

"I know," I responded quietly. I knew, that putting pressure on him was a bad idea. He needed to tell me, when he was ready, even though it was killing me at this point.

I heard him sigh deeply, before speaking. I could tell what he was about to tell me, was troubling him. Like it was a burden on his shoulders "You were bitten, Winter." My whole body jerked backwards by his words. I stared wide-eyed at the handsome guy in front of me... What? Theo's hand slowly reached for mine, and I let him take it. His eyes held mine as I felt him guide my hand from my shoulder to neck. There was something in the way he looked at me, the way he used hand guiding as a method... I couldn't put my finger on what he was doing to me, but to be honest it was kind of... Hot.

However, every good fantasy must come to an end at some point, and unfortunately, mine did earlier than expected. A gasp escaped my lips as I felt the marks on my skin. I sat in confusion, fear, nervousness. Every previous thought of mine vanished from my mind. These marks on my skin, how did they even get there? I couldn't speak. I sat unattractively with my mouth agape, large eyes.

"I'm sorry this happened. It was never my intention." Never his intention? What did he mean? Did Theo hurt me? For some reason, I got overwhelmed by emotions, and I felt the tears gathering in my eyes again.

"Y-Your intention?" I hiccupped, removing my hand from his. I watched as Theo's shoulder rose and fell. He didn't speak, and that was enough confirmation.

"There are so much I need to tell you. So much I need you to know." Theo chose his words wisely "I... just don't know how to..." He added, massaging his temples. I looked down at my hands. I didn't know what to say, what to do... I felt powerless. Used. I heard him sigh, but I didn't dare to look up. I didn't want to feel the intimidation anymore... But who was I kidding? Even though I wasn't looking up at him, I could still feel his stare, and it made me feel self-conscious. Everything did.

"My brother did this to you, Winter." I froze. I stopped breathing. I officially felt lied to. If Theo had lied once who knew how much more he had lied about? "Say something. It kills me when you're quiet." I gulped, by his words. I couldn't look him in the eye. Would I ever be able to change my way of looking at him?

"How?" My voice was only above a whisper, not that I had more strength to speak from, anyway "Why?" He knew my questions perfectly, and he had the answers. He had to.

"I'm sorry I never told you about my brother-"

"That's not good enough." I cut him off sternly. I had still managed to avoid eye contact completely... Good job, Winter.

"I know," Theo said with a sigh "Dimitri is a loathsome man, Winter. I hate him. I really do. He has done nothing but damage ever since I was a child. He never stopped," He stopped talking, and for the first time for what seemed like forever, our eyes met

"Dimitri and I are vampires,"