DESIRE

CHAPTER NINETEEN

THEODORE COHEN

Rain. Thunder. I used to cherish this kind of weather, but now I wasn't so sure. The rain fell from above the sky. I could hear it as it hit the roof, the windows and the ground. It poured down like never before. This wasn't normal. The 20th of December had arrived. It was usually snowing at this time of the year, but clearly, traditions change.

Winter reacted to the opposite of what I had thought. It troubled me to see how scared she was, how she shook, cried everything. I exhaled. I was the reason behind all of this. My selfishness and desires had gotten the best of me. I only thought of myself, and now it was too late. Dimitri had found out about Winter, about how much I cared for her. Not to mention our 'moment' just before. I blew out some air, I couldn't control myself, specifically not when I knew she would become a vampire too. Plus, that meant I didn't have to hold back with her. Not anymore. That stupid thunder changed everything, if mother nature hadn't done her little trick, then I definitely would have kissed her. Just the thought of Winter biting her lip made me ache for her. Although I so desperately wanted her lips on mine again, my thoughts also started to intrude. I feared when she would remember our first kiss, she would feel betrayed, no doubt. I should never have done it. She would feel lied to... again. Why did I tamper with her memory?

"Fuck..." Me and my stupid decisions.

However, she still had all her unanswered questions, I was well aware. Just the thought of it, made a headache appear. At the same time, I couldn't be more cheerful. I didn't have to keep anything from her anymore. No secrets whatsoever.

Christmas was coming soon. I already knew Winter wanted to go home and stay with her family. But I also knew she had to stay here. If Winter decided to transform fully, which she would, it would be a difficult task for me. Newborns as they were called, were unpredictable. They would have the most unbearable mood swings, their lust would be at their highest, and therefore hard to control. Very hard. However, some newborns act like angels, let's hope Winter would be one too.

A horror-filled scream snapped me out of my thoughts. I didn't think twice before rushing through the minor household. Stopping right outside the door to the bathroom, my heart suddenly beat faster.

"Winter, what's going on?" I yelled from the outside of the door. There was no response, and my worry increased.

"Uhm... Nothing. I'm... fine. Yes, fine! I'm completely fine! I just need a towel." She panicked; it was easy to tell. I knitted my brows together in suspicion, I would find out sooner or later.

Letting out a heavy breath, I quickly found a big, white towel. She opened the door, just enough for me to hand her the towel. She stuck out her hand and waited quietly. Sighing in slight frustration, I gave it to her.

I noticed how the drops of water looked so perfect on her skin. It looked so smooth, soft. At that moment I wanted to kiss every inch of Winter's arm until I came to her neck. I would mark her as mine, and leave sweet, wet kisses. I would love to hear the way her breathing became ragged as I sucked on her neck. Lastly her lips, those delicious lips of hers. They looked so perfect in the lightning inside the bedroom. I wanted to tease her with my own. Kissing her gently, I would tug her bottom lip between my teeth and bite it.

"T-Thank you." Snapping out of my thoughts once again, I mutter a short 'you're welcome'. Massaging my temples, I shook my head. I had to stop spacing out with thoughts like these. I couldn't deny my mind's wishes and desires. I still wanted Winter, no doubt. I wanted her even more now that we were the same or so to speak.

I sped through the house and found the bag of clothes which I had borrowed from her house; I was sure she wouldn't mind. I carefully set the bag just outside the door, so when she needed the clothes. She didn't have to get in an unpleasant position with me.

I wasn't sure what Winter would like when it came to food, but she hadn't eaten for a long time, so I knew she would be hungry once she finally realised it. What would I have wanted if I had died and came back as undead? I couldn't remember what my first real meal was. It was decades ago.

Hearing Winter's small steps as she ascended from the bathroom, I spun around. And there she stood in a pair of pyjamas, so shyly with her posture. It reminded me of when we first met at school. So delicate and fragile. As I studied her figure further, she still wore the towel around her head.

"Why don't you take off the towel, so it doesn't end up annoying you while you eat?" I said softly. Winter's eyes grew, and she peeked down at her hands, dodging my eyes altogether. I studied the way she played with her hands, and if I listen closely enough. I could hear her heart beating faster.

"I-I'm good... Yea, no need for the towel to come off... So, erm... what are you making? I'm starving," I pursued to eye her with curiosity and suspicion. I would not let this go just yet.

I walked over to her and she continued to ignore my steps. Grasping her chin, I forced her to look at me. Her eyes were wide. My eyes took in every single detail. Her skin was flawless. I let my hand caress her cheek, and her breath hitched. So soft.

"Take off the towel," I demanded softly while my blue eyes pierced into her brown ones. Winter opened her mouth, but nothing came out. I leaned in to whisper in her ear "Take it off..." Struggling with herself, Winter swallowed hard. I smirked slightly, loving I had this power over her.

"I-I can't. I won't." I heard her breathe back, and my smirk became a little larger.

Looking into her eyes which were now laced with something unknown, I spoke again against her lips "Then, I'm afraid. I will have to take it off for you." Knowing Winter didn't have a choice, her eyes suddenly clenched shut. I slowly grasped the towel which surprisingly hadn't fallen off her head yet, I removed it. With a thud, it landed onto the floor.

I froze once I saw what was in front my eyes "Please, don't be mad. It happened when I stepped under the water. Or so, I think, I first saw it in the mirror." Winter's small, innocent plea almost failed to reach my ears, but it did.

Winter's hair had transformed. It was white. Completely white. There wasn't any undertone or anything. There was no trace of her old hair colour, it was all replaced. The colour shone as the dim light reflected in her hair. I couldn't believe my own eyes at first, but then my acknowledgement kicked in.

"Sit down, Winter. Now!" I demanded harshly. Maybe more harshly than I intended to.

Appearing in front of the fridge I ripped it open. I took the fresh blood and poured some into a glass. Its scent and deep colour made my eyes darken. I reminded myself that I didn't need it, but Winter did.

Struggling to keep my bloodlust under control I placed the glass of blood in front of Winter who hadn't dared to speak. Clenching my fist, I spoke in a thick voice "Drink."

"What is it?" She asked anxiously. I snapped at her. I didn't mean to, but bloodlust isn't a good thing. It got the worst side out of me.

"Drink it, Winter. If you don't, you'll die!" My lust got violent, and my fangs showed themselves. She was so doubtful to even pick it up, later on, she wouldn't be able to get enough. Nevertheless, she drank, and she drank it all. Starting out slowly, but soon grew to worship the taste.

I didn't look at her, not even facing her way. I couldn't handle looking at the blood. Breathing heavier and heavier, I was about to lose it. My hands were almost bleeding because I had clenched them so hard. I didn't even pay attention to Winter moving from her seat, but now she appeared in front of me.

Her eyes were just as dark as mine. Her fangs were beautiful. A drop of blood fell from her lips, as I continued to stare at them. They looked delicious, and I wondered what they might taste like now that they had the blood covering them. She stepped forward, and I knew she wanted the same thing as I did. This lust had made her more confident than I had ever seen from her previously, but I loved it. I took her by the waist and pressed her up against me. Winter bit her lip making the blood on them blend in with her teeth. Clasping a hand on her waist, I grasped the back of her head. And in that second, I crashed my lips onto hers.

At first, the kiss was long and gentle, I could taste the blood lingering on Winter's lips. It tasted so f*****g divine. I had totally forgotten what this kind of blood tasted like. Moving in sync with mine, we mixed together our breaths and lips. But I craved more. I needed more. I licked her lips to taste everything, and then I bit it. Hard. A loud gasp and moan erupted from Winter's mouth.

I definitely needed more.

Changing positions, I arrived at a wall and pushed Winter up against it, taking her by surprise. Nevertheless, she never once stopped kissing me even if we both had the lack of air. By now, our tongues danced together, and our breathing became faster. I wanted this to last forever. I would be doomed when she would find out I tampered with her memory, but f**k it... I couldn't care less about her reaction. I just needed her taste and lips on mine. It felt like we had been kissing forever until Winter pushed me away.

She glanced at me; eyes wide. Shit... She knew "Theo..." She breathed as small pants escaped her lips. Her expression only showed shock. Her thumb traced the outline of her bottom lip, the one I had bitten... f**k.

"Winter." I breathed while panting just as she did "Let me-"

"What's going on with me?" Her voice was hardly above a whisper. She had this innocent look in her eye, but I could see how panic was about to take over "Tell me."

This was it. No more secrets. I sighed "I guess, you got a flashback of some sort just now, am I right?" She nodded, gulping "Tell me, what flashback did you have?" I asked, full-on knowing. Winter looked at me, then looked down at her hands, blushing.

"We... kissed,"

"I know," I responded, her eyes met mine, once again shocked "It happened. We kissed that night," Her lips parted as if she was about to say something, but I quickly continued. I couldn't stop now if I did there was no way I could start again "I made sure you wouldn't remember it because you were in danger. However, it was too late. Dimitri attacked you, and now you're a vampire. That's why you can remember,"

Winter walked past me to sit down by the table. I followed. She ran her hands through her hair, stressing "Winter." I said, quietly, she looked up at me. She looked so vulnerable in this moment "Everything is going to be okay."

"I know." She replied. I couldn't tell her mood. Was she disappointed, angry? Did she feel betrayed? Lied to? She gave nothing away. Nevertheless, my hand caressed her cheek. Winter sighed, leaning into my touch. I leaned forward to capture her lips with my own. I moved slowly, cautiously making sure she didn't feel uncomfortable. Winter took a quick glance at my lips before finally giving me the confirmation to kiss her again... I will never be able to get enough.