Chapter 12
1705 Words
My stomach is rumbling when lunch comes around. I meet Hailee and Lena at the lunch line and listen to them talk about their boyfriends and life. We sit a table near the window, our regular seat. The cafeteria is very noisy and full of laughter and talking and eating and mess.
"Amy, how's that assignment coming?" Hailee says, taking a large bite from her egg sandwich. I tell her it's almost done.
"If you studied, you can get a better mark," Lena says. Hailee shrugs, tells us studying is for losers. "Hailee, you are one lazy ass. Look at Amy, she's so sociable and still gets good grades. Why do you think that is?" What Lena said isn't entirely true. I'm not sociable, not very anyway. Being friends with well-respected girls gives me a plus point, and I'm good with that.
A couple tables away, I see the Black Cat pack eating where they usually do. This time, I only see Alistair and Mathias who are talking with each other. I can't hear them, but they're expressions don't seem too happy. I don't want to care, but I don't want to divert my attention. That is, when Lena dangles a French fry in front of my face.
"Boy, you zone out a lot," Lena comments, stuffing the fry in her mouth. "I was asking you if you had any of those grid papers for math. Don't judge, I'm not a big fan of back-to-school shopping."
"No, it's okay. I have them," I reply, bending to open my backpack and take out my math binder.
The conversation goes back to boyfriends and I really don't know what to do. Things get awkward for me when they mention Matthew and Oren, my two ex-boyfriends. Talking about them is the last thing I want to do, but it's impossible to stop my friends once they start talking about it.
"Matthew was a year older or something, right?" Hailee asks me. I nod and look at my chicken nuggets, which I haven't touched yet. I'm starving, but I resist the food. "I don't really know. I heard someone beat them up and threatened them to move schools."
"That's bullshit," Lena shakes her head. Hailee agrees, and that's when the topic ends. And that's when I begin to eat. I don't say anything after that. I want to go the library and have some peace time.
When I leave the cafeteria, the halls are completely empty and the lights almost cast a shadow appearance. My shoes are the only footsteps I can hear, and some other students that walk by occasionally. My thoughts somehow always run back to that day Alistair jumped over my backyard fence. Why did he want to escape his friends? Who are those girls that come to his house? I want to know, but hopelessness tugs me down. I should forget the whole thing.
As I open the door to a stairwell and turn a corner that leads me to the library, a hand suddenly pulls me back. I'm scared and stunned when once again, I'm pulled back into the small cave under the stairs. I hear breathing near my head and a body beside me.
"Hey, who is--" I start.
"Shh," the calm voice says close to my ear. My heart pounds faster, because I know who it is. "It's me, Alistair. Be quiet for a few seconds." I can't wait to ask him some questions, but I'm too surprised because he's been avoiding me for the past few days and now? And now, he's making a way to talk to me.
When a few seconds pass in dead silence, his hands loosen on my shoulders. I take the opportunity to speak. "What's going on? You told me you would talk to me and you don't want to now..."
"It's not that I don't want to," he says, "I can't."
"You mean, you're not allowed to?" I ask. He nods, and I stare at the wall ahead of me in silent thought. "Why though? Is it because of, those three?" Alistair sighs and slumps back against the cave wall.
"In a way. But before I tell you anything, tell me what happened when they came to your house," he said. More than glad to know that Alistair really hasn't been purposefully avoiding me, I explain the whole thing.
After I'm done, we are both quiet for a while, but I break the silence. "So, can you tell me what happened with you?"
Alistair sighs again. He looks side to side to make sure no one's there and sticks his hands into his pockets. "Curtis, Jarvis, Mathias, and I are not friends, but are like partners. We have this thing that keeps us together and kind of makes us...depend on each other. It's kind of hard to explain." I don't want to stop his flow so I nod. "For our situation, we can't...we can't afford distractions and stuff."
"Am I the distraction?" I ask. Alistair looks away. He doesn't tell me what his exact situation is, but he's trying to help me understand. I'm glad, and don't take it for granted.
"They got suspicious when they didn't see me at my house," Alistair says. "And suspicious when...nevermind. The point is, they think I won't be, lets say focused enough if I start to spend time with other people. They think you're gonna take my focus away in the future, and they want me to stay away." What jerks.
"So, what will happen if you don't stay away?" I ask, fiddling with my fingers.
"I don't know," he answers honestly. "They take things in a business-like fashion, and it's pressuring. Their consequences can be endless. It can be on me and they might kick me out of their group. Or it can be you." He gives me a look. "I'm more worried about what they will do to you if I still hung out with you, or even talked to you."
"That's mean," I blurt, out of all the other things I could've said.
"Yeah...but, our situation is like that," he says. He sounds clear and knows what he's talking about, but I still find some of that uncertainty in his voice. It's there, but hard to pick out, like he's not supposed to say something.
"Is there anything you can do?" I ask softly, not wanting to sound too nosy or inquisitive. He takes a long time, a very long time and I know there's only a couple minutes left until the bell.
"I don't--" he starts but he's cut off when there are voices in the hallway. "Shoot! It's them," Alistair scowls. His hands go back on my shoulders, pulling me to his side so I'm deeper in the cave. "Stick to wall and don't move." I'm nervous and a little anxious, but with Alistair close by, I feel safe. Some of the voices become clear.
"...said he'll go to the washroom but didn't come back yet." This voice belongs to Curtis. "He knows we have some important stuff to discuss. Where the f**k is he?"
"Mathias, when're the girls coming?" This one must be Jarvis.
"In a week," Mathias replies. The footsteps get dangerously closer. "We should leave him alone guys. You know he gets annoyed when we follow him like puppies."
One of them snorts. "We're not his puppies. He knows we can bring him down any day."
"Really? That guy's been causing damage his entire life and I bet he can box you all at the same time. He doesn't care about us, he cares about his goal. Why else do you think he puts up with us?" Mathias explains. Their voices are much, much closer and I turn into a tight ball as Alistair almost covers me behind him like a shield.
"That son of a b***h better not be going to that chick again." This voice is definitely Curtis's. They're right around the corner and I can feel Alistair tense. "Come on man, where the f**k is he?"
"Curtis, just leave him alone for now. Listen to Mathias," Jarvis says. I hear a groan and Curtis complain on how Mathias always supports Alistair.
They get so loud and feel like they're shouting in our ears when suddenly, the voices go up, up, up and disappear into distant noises. They went upstairs. Although relief washes over me, I'm afraid to move.
"Alistair--"
"Shh," he shushes me, and turns around so he's facing me. In an almost whispering voice, he says, "Are you okay?" His voice is much closer than usual, and I could clearly see the calm blue in his eyes as they look at me for an answer. For a second, my heartbeat shoots up, noticing how we're basically sharing the same air. He must've noticed something, too, because he becomes quiet and impassive. Shifting a little, I nod.
"Do you want to be safe and keep away from me?" I ask reluctantly. So reluctantly I want to take back the question. I don't, because I know this must be something important for Alistair. "I won't mind," I add. Alistair is thinking, his fresh eyes so clear, so patient. His body stiff, but not moving away.
"I should be, but..." he says quietly. Sadness already creeps into my body, and my face falls.
"What if it's another project we have to do together?" I ask hopefully. Alistair doesn't look as hopeful as me. His eyes turn faraway, as if looking into the past or into the future.
"My education...really doesn't matter. Not to me, but to my..." he searches for the word.
"Parents?" I ask, in a bare squeak. I'm hesitant to say it.
"You can put it that way. But not exactly," he says. The bell rings and students start to rush down the stairs and into the hallways. I take a huge breath and when I pick up my backpack, I remember something. I take out his sweater.
"You left this in my house the other day," I say to him, and he takes his sweater.
"I forgot about this," he says, rubbing his thumb over the fabric.
"See you in bio." I slightly smile, and leave.
- Writer
