Where Ashes and Oaths Collide

Chapter 42: Just Love

“It has been so long since anyone looked at me like that,” Luz murmured, his voice losing its harsh edge. “Like they see me, not just the monster in black armour.” His hand instinctively covered hers on his cheek, holding it there. “Hope is a luxury I can’t afford, Amelia. Not when every day is another step closer to becoming what I hate.” He pulled her closer again, needing the physical connection to anchor himself against the tide of guilt threatening to drown him. “What if hope is what stops it?” Amelia challenges Luz as her head rests on his chest. “Will it kill you to try to be happy?” Luz’s amber eyes widened at the challenge, a flicker of genuine surprise crossing his features. The question hung in the air between them, cutting through the layers of fear and guilt he had built around himself.

His thumb traced the curves of her cheekbone, studying her with an intensity that belied his earlier despair. “Happy?” he repeated softly, the word wounding foreign on his tongue. “I have not let myself think about happiness in six years. It feels– dangerous.” His gaze dropped to where their bodies were still jointed, the physical intimacy serving as a stark reminder of what they were risking here. “If trying to be happy means letting you get hurt,” he began before Amelia interrupted him, “How much do you know about this darkness inside you?” she asked stubbornly. “Did you even bother to ask if it is reversible or were you too busy playing the martyr.”

Luz’s jaw clenched at the accusation, a muscle twitching in his cheek. The question hit a nerve, striking at the core of his self-loathing. For six years, he had deliberately avoided seeking answers, telling himself ignorance was safer than knowing there was no hope. “I did not ask,” he admitted quietly, his voice stripped of its commanding authority. “Because I was afraid. Afraid that finding out it was irreversible would break me completely.” His fingers tightened slightly on her waist. “I have seen what happens when Corrompido get to close to people–. So, I told myself it was better not to know.” The admission seemed to drain some of the tension from his shoulders, as if confessing this weakness lifted a small burden from his conscience. The amber in his eyes remained stead, holding hers with a vulnerability she had not seen in so long.

“So, it is hopeless?” Amelia asked irritated. “That is that. We are not even worth fighting for?” Luz’s own frustration boiled to the surface, born not from hopelessness but from sheer exhaustion with this endless internal war. “Of course we are worth fighting for!” he snapped back, sitting up abruptly and dislodging himself from her body. The sudden separation felt like a physical ache. “How can you even ask that? Do you really think so little of me?” his amber eyes blazed with anger now– not at her– but at the situation itself. At the darkness within him that had made him doubt his own humanity for so long. At Mestre Escuro who had forced this choice upon him. “The problem is not whether we are worth fighting for,” he continued, running a frustrated hand through his ash silver hair.

“It feels like you would rather face entire armies than choose to believe in us,” Amelia said with a deep sigh. “I am not asking for f*****g miracles Luz. Just love me. Stop trying to push me away the whole time and stop saying s**t like I should not love you.” She puts her hand flat on his chest. “Whatever comes we will face together. That is all I want.” His breath caught in his throat, the raw honesty of her words piercing through the fortifications he had spent years building around his heart. His amber eyes, which has been blazing with frustration moments ago, softened to a vulnerable amber as he stared at her hand on his chest. “Together,” he repeated, testing the word on his tongue as if it were a forgotten language. “You want to stand beside me while I fight this thing inside me? While I bleed from places you can’t see?”

His voice grew quieter, more uncertain than she had ever heard. “Amelia, you do not understand.” He captured her hand with his own, bringing it to his lips. The contrast between her warmth and his own chill was stark. “If you stay with me–” Amelia interrupted again. “If I stay, I will be happy,” she said stubbornly. “And if you turn into a monster, I will chain you in a cave and still love you. And if you do not turn into a monster, we might have several precious years together.” The absolute conviction in her voice stuck Luz with the force of a physical blow. Years of self-imposed isolation and martyrdom crumbled under the weight of her stubborn love.

For the first time since that fateful day on the battlefield, he felt the bars of his personal prison beginning to crack. “You are insane,” he breathed out, half-laughing despite himself. “Absolutely, irrevocably insane.” His free hand cupper her face, thumb brushing over her determined expression. “Chaining me in a cave? Amelia, you are talking about loving a monster.” The amber in his eyes held steady, reflecting none of the usual crimsons glow that accompanied emotional turmoil. “Years together,” he said softly, the words tasting like a forbidden fruit. “Years where I wake up next to you every morning instead of alone in this nightmare. Where I can kiss you without worrying about the darkness flaring out of control.”

His thumb stroked gently along her jawline, his touch surprisingly tender for a man who commands armies. “You are giving me something I do not deserve– a future. A life beyond being commander of the Corrompido– beyond being Mestre Escuro’s puppet. The resolve in his expression solidified, the last remnants of his old martyrdom crumbling away. “Alright, f**k it.” A small, wry smile ouched his lips– a real smile that reached his amber eyes. “If you are determined to be crazy enough to love this broken mess of a man, then fine. I will not fight you anymore.” Amelia sights loudly. “Good. Next time you say something stupid I am going to slap you,” she warns.