So Long, Goodnight

CHAPTER TEN

"I'll explain." She said and the she took a deep breath. I prepared myself to listen to everything she would say.

(FLASHBACK 7 YEARS AGO- EMERY'S POV)

"You have AML." The doctor said after he reads the laboratory results.

"What is AML, doc?" I asked.

"Acute Myeloid Leukemia. It is a blood cancer in which your body produces abnormal white blood cells. In Leyman's terms, your bone marrow cannot produe enough healthy blood cells that is why you're experiencing persistent tiredness, infections and fevers, bruising easily. "

"So that's the reason why i felt so tired and always sick? My symptoms started when i was in senior high school. But it just got worse that's why i have to consult before i entered college." I said.

"Yes."

"Is this treatable, doc?" I asked.

"Yes. There are many treatment options for AML. Chemotherapy, radiation therapy and stem cell transplant. But it depends on what kind of AML you will be treated from. The therapy might get you weaker." He explained. I know from that moment, i have to pause my studies. But at the same time, i don't want to left Zeph so i continue attending school while my treatment is ongoing.

"Do you have any plans to tell Zeph?" Skylar ask. We were on a cafe for a hangout. Zeph is already busy since it is almost the end of the semester, and probably my last sem as i won't be continuing for now.

"No. I don't want him to worry. I also don't want to drag him down with me. I love him too much that i would let him go just for him to continue on his life, while i'm continuing mine with i don't know how much time i have left." I said. I know Zeph is already noticing the changes in my energy but i always assures him that everything is fine.

"Can i ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"Take care of Zeph. I know how much i will break him when the time comes i have to leave him. You can give me updates about him, if you like."

"But what if he falls in love with someone?" He asked. I froze. I took a minute to breathe as i processed his question.

"It's okay as long as he is happy. I don't have any right to stop him after breaking his heart. If someday our paths cross again, i would like to tell him the truth. That is if i'm still alive, tho."

"You won't die, okay? Stop saying you're dying, because you won't." Sky said. I just nodded.

Weeks passes by and my treatment is ongoing. My absences in school is already notable that Zeph already questions me. Until a day before our anniversary arrives. I was rushed to the hospital and that is where the doctor advised me to bed rest. That is where i have to make my decision. It was our anniversary. My phone rangs nonstop and i know it was him who's calling. I ignore it even though i want to answer it. I took a deep breathe when it stops. So i immediately picked my phone up and sent him a message.

Let's break up. This is the last time i will contact you. I love you, but this will be for the best.

As i sent the message, i couldn't stopped sobbing. Leaving him is the hardest decision i have ever made, but i'm doing this for him. I don't want to be a burden to him.

"I'm sorry, Zeph. I wish you could forgive me someday." I said between my sobs as our story ends here.

(END OF FLASHBACK)

ZEPH'S POV

I was too stunned to speak. No words could come out of my mouth. All these years, i had no idea on what she'd been through. She chose to keep everything to herself for me not to worry.

"How are you now?" I asked.

"I recovered. But i'm still undergoing treatment to avoid remission. I'm telling you this because you deserve the truth." She said as she took my hand.

"I'm sorry it took me years to admit everything to you. I promised that if i could make it alive, i will tell you the truth. Maybe God took pity of me because the treatment works, and i'm still here in front of you, telling the truth. I'm not expecting you to forgive me right away because i knew how much i broke you. But i'm hoping one day, you could forgive me from all the pain i brought you." She said as tears fell to her face. I just kept silent as i process everything. All those hatred and anger that i felt towards her starts to fade as her reason of leaving me is also for my own sake.

"Why now?" I asked.

"Honestly, meeeting you again was coincidential. That'swhy i want to take this opportunity to talk. I'm not asking you to take me back, i just want to redeem myself for hurting you."

I don't know what's gotten into me, i stood up and gave her a hug as a comfort. I finally get the closure i am expecting to move forward with my relationship with Nyx.

"Thank you for telling me. All these years, i held a grudge to you. Finally, you gave me the closure i needed to move forward with Nyx."

"Do you love him?" She asked. I let go of her and smile.

"I do. Why'd you ask?"

"Nothing. It's just to be honest, i still love you. And if i could turn back time, i will never leave you. I will tell you about my health and maybe probably we're still together now, happy and contented." She blurts out. I almsot froze on the spot.

"Although i don't have any plans to take you from him, no worries." She added.

"Great. And i guess we're better off as friends now." I said. I could see the sadness in her eyes but also an acceptance. I knew our story is now over, i've finally moved on from her. She is now a lesson to my life.

But why do i feel sad?

Why do i feel like imagining things would like if we're still together?