Chapter 58 : Sirena III (incomplete)

1081 Words
  -Avery-             ‘By the light of the night, the purest is the heart. Just within the reach of the sight, the sea falls apart…’~~  ‘By the light of the night, the purest is the heart. Just within the reach of the sight, the sea falls apart…’~~ ‘By the light of the night, the purest is the heart. Just within the reach of the sight, the sea falls apart…’~~~             Gosh, what does that mean? I know it’s just an easy poem yet why can’t I understand it now? Why can’t I get the meaning? The pressure makes me feel so nervous that all I can think is that I should know the meaning before they return and not truly understanding it. That was a short and specific poem yet I’m having a hard time for it now.             “By the light of the night, the purest is the heart. Just within the reach of the sight, the sea falls apart…” I tried voicing it out so I could focus to it more yet I really can’t. gosh, the others are counting on us right now, yet it’s been long since they’re gone, they’re probably coming anytime soon.             “Hey, don’t worry about it too much, we’ll surely know where the heart of the sea is ahahaha” Scarlett told me as she smiled, her smile tells me that she isn’t worried so much at all. It’s like she isn’t having the burden of thinking about it, how can she stay relax about this? I wish I could be like her.             “How can’t I be worried? The others count on me, they think that I can do it ‘cause I’m smart at things like this at school…” I told her and sighed as I gave up and stopped thinking about that ‘By the light of the night, the purest is the heart. Just within the reach of the sight, the sea falls apart…’ anymore             “So you’re trying to understand it just so that you could meet the others’ expectation?” Scarlett asked me as if she’s trying to tell me something, she sounded so meaningful and it’s like she pierced me right through my heart. Her words are like daggers that struck me right through my bull’s eye.             I just nodded to her as a response. She smiled bitterly while shaking off her head slowly.             “You will never meet your success if you keep on thinking that way…” she said directly that made me pause             “What did you say?” I asked her to repeat what she said though I heard it clearly             “I said you will never succeed if you have that kind of mindset… tell me, are you always like that in class?” she actually repeated just as I asked it, then asked me the question. I paused for another while and then slowly nodded in response. I… I admit, I really do, I’m always like this in class.             “I see, that’s why you were so afraid to commit mistakes… you were so afraid to get a low remarks and so on… because you thought that everyone thinks that you are that someone who’s not wrong at anything and always gets high remarks… and so you try to live that lie...” she started explaining what she noticed about me, but wait…             “What lie?” I asked her as I quickly turned to her trying to get her point             “That part about a person that doesn’t commit mistakes, or a person that always gets high remarks… a person you’re trying to live. I’m telling you, the truth is, you are free to commit mistakes and learn from it despite what mental capacity you do have. The truth is you are free to receive low remarks despite giving it your all… and you learn from all of it, that’s the truth” she answered my question             “Trust me, living that kind of life is so depressing… so if you don’t want to get depressed, stay out of it. Listen, you’re just a person, you do wrong things sometimes, but you can always make it right. You get low remarks sometimes, but you can do better next time. You receive hate, but love is always there” she continued speaking             “There’s no perfect person Avery, not even you nor me, so if we don’t get things right as everyone expects it, it’s fine. They’ll understand. Don’t live a life struggling to meet everyone else’s expectations, gosh, live your own expectation. Live your own life without minding what other tell you”             “Don’t force yourself too much because if you calm down, everything would just come naturally…” she added as she looked at me intently as if she really wants me to take it all. How can she say this to me? “I just notice how you’re having a hard time dealing with what everyone else thinks of you…”             “But I tell you, you don’t have to struggle. You’re smart, you should know this… stop overthinking, just think then everything would just go well as you wanted it to be… do you understand me?” she continued as she went nearer me “Now, breath… and let go of all your worries, from now on, I want you to remember everything I told you…”             I have to remember everything that she told me. Everything she just said are so correct. She’s so accurate at this point of time and I can feel it. I just have to be myself, without worrying what everyone tells me or expects of me, all I should is how I handle myself. After all, I’m the only one who can do it for myself…
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