The Plan

3. Simon

SimonI had had a lovely evening with my new neighbours and it could only be a good sign that I had made friends here so quickly, and that I had a night out clubbing to look forward to at the end of the week that I was pretty much dreading by this point. I really wanted the new job, it was a step up from what I had been doing, and I had no doubt it would challenge me and I would learn a lot. But ever since I saw that photo what I wanted to do was learn exactly how to make Greg moan. I didn’t understand how I could be getting this obsessed over someone I had never even met. Perhaps it really was fate screwing with me. In person he might be totally different and all would be fine, but I couldn’t shake the nagging doubt that he would be wonderful and probably straight. I could only figure I was really ready for a new relationship, no matter who that might be with.

I decided on my tactics for the weekend. I couldn’t clear my head of Greg no matter how hard I tried. I kept imagining meeting him and the variations on what could happen. Most of the time I managed to concentrate on how I would keep myself under control when I did meet the reality, but my mind did stray. I tried to imagine that he would be shorter than me, because I like my men taller, or that he would turn out to have a huge beer belly, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that the reality would be much more gorgeous than the picture, and just in case, I was gonna wear my d**k out this weekend so there was no chance of any reaction. I managed to find the porn eventually, giving up on finding anything else useful in the boxes and just briefly opening them up to check their contents. The sense of relief when I finally saw the fit naked bodies on the front of my magazines was immense. I could jack off to these and not think of anyone else.

My only mistake was on Sunday when I was on round two for that morning. I was almost at climax when it suddenly struck me that the guy I was looking at had short dark hair and bright blue eyes, and before I could stop myself the face had changed in my mind and I shot so hard I saw lights behind my eyes. I groaned a mixture of the pleasure of the orgasm and my horror at replacing the nameless man in the porn with my soon to be co-worker.

I managed to make twice more that day before Mark and Charlie came round for the dinner I owed them. I had located most of the kitchen equipment despite prioritising the search for the porn. They brought a cheesecake that was clearly homemade and looked delicious. More evidence of Charlie’s expertise in the kitchen. I wasn’t up to his standard but at least I wasn’t going to poison anyone. I presented them with marinated chicken breasts with new potatoes, carrots and broccoli. They seemed to appreciate it, or were at least decent enough to lie that they liked it.

Mark broached the dreaded subject as we tucked into the cheesecake.

‘So, are you ready for tomorrow? First day and all that comes with it.’

I groaned, and they laughed. ‘Don’t tease me for god’s sake. I’m nervous as hell. I keep hoping that picture was a fluke and he’s actually 50 with a beer gut and a body odour problem. I guess even if he is really that pretty he could still have halitosis or a voice that could make me want to strangle him, or be the most boring man ever to walk this earth.’

Neither of the others could stop laughing through my speech. Mark pulled himself together quicker than Charlie. ‘You seem to have all the bases covered there. There is a good possibility he won’t make you horny the instant you see him.’

‘And just in case he does, I’m wanking for England the whole of this weekend. He’s not going to get little Simon to stir if he’s already got friction burns.’

This time they were actually crying with laughter, and I joined in.