Surrender To Me

Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

SLOANE

Two lines are glaring at me, confirming what I suspected and feared most.

When I felt a little better, I ordered two pregnancy test kits and some medicines from the pharmacy. I spent a good hour in my bathroom before I finally had the guts to do the test and I stared at the test kits for another hour, as if looking at it would change the fact that both kits showed the same result.

I am pregnant. I got pregnant because I stupidly forgot to take a pill.

I fell on my ass in the middle of my bathroom and broke down. The four corners of the small room heard my cries. I felt upset, sad, angry and lost. Upset with myself for being so smart yet I let it happen to me. Sad because I want to be a mother someday, but not this early. Angry at Josiah for impregnating me and lost because I didn't know what I was supposed to do next.

I am at the peak of my career and I couldn't imagine myself being pregnant and having a child at this moment. I couldn't just give up on it. I still have my dreams. I still have a family to support. How can I support them and raise a baby at the same time?

I felt angry, but I knew deep down, behind my anger, that Josiah wasn't the only one to blame. He thought I was safe and it's stupidity on my part.

But what do I do now? How will I tell Josiah? I'm sure he wouldn't be happy either. He might even force me to abort it.

After what seemed like forever, I finally gathered myself, convincing myself that I had to make sure I was pregnant. The tests could be wrong. I heard about it happening before.

I changed into casual clothes and drove to the nearest clinic I knew. There was a queue and I had to wait in line. I couldn't help but watch the pregnant ladies with their husbands or boyfriends. They looked so happy and ready. I couldn't even imagine myself in their position. When it was my turn, my name was called and a nurse escorted me inside. I saw a middle-aged woman who smiled at me and gestured for me to sit.

"Good afternoon, Miss Ellsworth. How may I help you today?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and my eyes traveled around her clinic. "I uhm, I did some tests and they turned out positive, but I still want to make sure if I'm... pregnant."

"I can help you with that. Now, pregnancy tests aren't always accurate, but the accuracy rate is still high. Please lay here and lift your shirt for me," she instructed me as she pointed to the bed and I did. "This will feel a little cold." She warned me and I shivered a little when she spread some gel on my lower belly.

I let out a shaky breath as she told me that she would use some kind of stick to see if there was a baby inside me. Tears gathered in my eyes and my heart beat faster.

"Oh, there you go. The little one is playing hide and seek but it's there. We still couldn't tell the gender, but congratulations, Miss Ellsworth, you are three weeks pregnant!"

The tears I was holding in fell on my face and I wasn't even sure how I left her clinic. I was in a trance as I walked out, unaware of the people around me. I think I bumped into a couple of people on my way out but I couldn't bring myself to apologize.

My world crumbled and my world is about to change just because of one mistake, an unplanned pregnancy.

When I managed to pull myself together, I drove home in a daze. I didn't want to cry and blame myself anymore so I called the one person I knew I could always count on.

"Hello?" Tabitha answered and my lips quivered.

"Tabi... I need you. Can you please come here? Before I lose my mind, please." I begged her and sobbed into my hands.

"I'll be right there." She responded without asking why and the call was dropped.

Not even fifteen minutes later, I heard the sound of her entering my code and she entered my place. Tabitha had access to my apartment just in case something happened to me and vice versa. She is the type of friend that will be there for you when you need her and she can also fight your battle.

I did something that I felt guilty about, and today, I knew I had no choice but to tell her about Josiah and me.

She saw my tear-filled face and went to hug me, probably knowing that it's what I needed most. She knew me so well. I cried in her arms and she let me while gently stroking my back and hair. After a few minutes, my tears stopped, my eyes were puffy and I was left with a headache.

"Will you tell me why you're crying now?" Tabitha asked as we faced each other on my couch.

I swallowed before reaching out for her hands. "First of all, I want to apologize if I hid this from you, Tabi. I just... I didn't want to admit that I let myself get carried away." I rambled and Tabitha stopped me.

"Breathe and tell me, Slo."

"Josiah and I have been sēx partners for three years now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Tabi."

Tabitha was silent for a few seconds. She pulled her hands away from my grasp and leaned on the couch. She looked upset and disappointed, and rightfully so. We are supposed to be best friends but I hid it from her.

"Tabi, talk to me," I whined when she turned away from me.

"I kind of had a hunch, you know? You will make an excuse and leave. Whenever I ask you if you have someone, you will dodge the question. And not to mention that you looked worn out sometimes and I thought it was because of work."

I bit my lip and my cheeks tinted a little.

"When did it start? I knew you and him played around when we graduated. You told me about it, so why didn't you tell me about this? Is he the reason you're crying?"

I hugged my knees and placed my chin on top of it. "It started then. We realized we were compatible in bed so we agreed on a no-strings-attached relationship. I didn't tell you because my ego won't let me. It hurt my ego to admit that he was able to beat me in bed like a typical woman putty in a man's hand. Plus, you guys are always teasing me that we'll end up together. And... yes, he's the reason," I stared into her eyes and tears welled up in my eyes again. "Tabi, I'm pregnant. I forgot to take my pill and now I'm pregnant."

Tabitha ran her hands down her face and she lightly slapped the back of my head.

"Sleeping with your enemy is one thing, having his baby is another, Sloane! God, I thought you're the smartest woman I know, and you..." She growled in frustration and shook me. "And you are not even in a relationship!"

I sighed and grabbed my head. "I know! That's why I feel so miserable! I don't know what to do, Tabi. I have so many plans! So many dreams I want to achieve!"

Tabitha sighed, pulling me in a hug and rubbed my back. "We'll figure it out, hmm? Pregnancy is not the end of everything, Slo. Who knows? Maybe it's the start of something good. And you don't need that jerk. If he doesn't want to take responsibility, we will raise your baby together, but you still need to tell him."