When destiny is driven by a proposal.

Chapter 6 - blurted words and consequences

The sun’s descent created a spectacular show of light, as its rays collided with the clouds in a burst of brilliance. His hand had slipped away from mine at some point, leaving behind a vague impression of his warmth. I shook off the illusion and felt a rumble in my stomach, recalling that I had only eaten a few snacks I had purchased early at the gas station.

He read my mind perfectly when he uttered, “You’re probably hungry, and I am too”. I was amazed by how well he understood me. “I booked us rooms at the Strand Hotel. It has a lovely view of the ocean. I thought that would be nice. What do you think of checking in and then getting some dinner?” A new sight would be a welcoming change, instead of the shacks that filled my sight every morning. For one day, this dream will be mine. For one day, I will experience this fantasy.

The hotel was a spectacle to see, sparkling and immaculate, with lights that filled every space. I was fascinated by the mere splendor before me. I respected its neatness and brightness; someone had devoted time to every piece of decoration and made sure each one had a story to convey. For a bit, I was astounded by the magnificent portrait on one of the walls, as Michael checked us in at the front desk. He nudged me on my shoulder to snap me out of my trance. This was a first. How did I get here? A plain girl from the hood in a luxurious up market hotel, where only the rich reside. Do I even deserve to be here? I usually walk past these buildings without paying any attention. This man has exposed me to a whole new world.

We had top-floor rooms. I stepped into mine, and he gestured for me to look around. The room was spacious, unlike my cramped one at home. The bed was enormous, big enough for a whole family to sleep on. I was reminded of the small bed I shared with Sharon, compared to this luxury I never dreamed of. Today I will sleep in various directions. The sheets were white, the chocolates were tempting, and I felt a mix of peace and guilt. Did he pity me, or did he want to show me what life could be like? What was I to him? Why would he tease me like that? Knowing very well, this was not my world. That's all I was, after all. A waitress turned tour guide for a short while. This was a temporary escape, not a lasting change. Tomorrow, I will face reality again, the hardships of the dusty roads I was acquainted with, and this will be nothing but a recollection of a time in my life.

He gave me time to soak it all in. He remained by the door, left ajar, careful not to intrude, and asked, "Are you happy with the room?". Without any hesitation, I replied, "Michael, it's incredible. I've never had a room to myself before." I saw a flash of sorrow in his eyes, but he quickly covered it up. "Tonight, just let go and enjoy yourself. You're helping me out, you know. I always end up just at the hotel and burying myself in work. You inspired me to see more of Namibia."

I wonder what I revealed to him. How much of myself did I open to him in our chats? I don't want his sympathy, I have made my choices, and I must live with them. I don't want anyone to take on my burdens for me. I had deceived myself into believing that this was all for me. During our ride it felt that I was being pampered for a change – wake up April, why would this happen to you? You are just assisting a client. Come to think of it, Michael is a rich man who appreciates the finer things in life. This is nothing special for him, I was just along for the ride. "Why don't you get comfortable in your room for a bit, and we can meet up for dinner in 15 minutes", he suggested. I liked that he was in charge, it was a new feeling for me. He shut the door behind him, after I nodded in agreement - still stunned by this experience, I ran to the bed and threw myself on it. How I enjoyed the sensation. The sheets were so smooth it felt like I was sleeping on clouds. The room had a different aroma too. I had a tiny kitchen in mine, so that room always smelled like food.

This life I see before me, could have been mine if I had the means. Was this life ever an option for me if I followed a different route? If I had graduated from high school, and continued my studies, would this have been me? I knew it was wishful thinking. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I didn't have the privilege that Michael had. Everything I achieved I had to struggle for. I doubt that he ever faced any challenges. All my life I have had to fight battles; I don’t think that he has ever fought one in his life at all.

I was judging a man that has given me so much in the past few days than I would’ve ever imagined. I owe him some respect at least. I have forgotten about the sadness I saw at one point. I do not know him at all, but I will give him the benefit of a doubt.

I rose and walked to the window and opened the curtains. I opened the window to let the cold breeze in. I stood there and admired the view, the troubles of poverty were gone from my mind, I was free from it all. I am living in the now. A knock on the door made me jump. I had neglected I was with Michael and evidently still on the clock. I hoped he hadn't changed or cleaned up as I hadn't even looked at the bathroom. I lost track of time, dreaming of living like this in a second lifetime.

As I opened the door, I saw him standing there. I had the urge to hug him with all my heart. I wanted to show him my appreciation, but I held back from acting silly. “Ready,” he said, with a grin. I locked the door and we left for dinner. I wondered what he had planned for us, but I trusted him to make it a memorable night.

We rode the elevator, and he asked me in a gentle voice, "are you alright", not knowing what he expected from me. I mirrored his tone and found the courage to answer, "I am Michael, but don't you think this is too extravagant?" I had to question him as I was completely out of my element with this man. "This is nothing April, once in a while, we need to treat ourselves", he chuckled as he said that.

We entered the dining room, and were led to our table, roles reversed for a change, someone else was doing my job and waiting on me. The usual line was spoken, and he glanced at me, as he couldn’t remember the beers’ name that he preferred in Namibia. I informed the waitress, and she was gone. The familiar scent filled the restaurant. The joyous voices were evident all around. We didn’t go far but opted to dine at the hotel itself. I looked at the prices on the menu. This place was pricey. I could feel my face show surprise. He had noticed that too, and made a comment, as if scolding me, “You worry too much – this is on me.” He spoke, in a way he has been trying to communicate to me this very phrase all day long, and obviously, I didn’t get the words that were spoken.

I decided to just loosen up and have some well-earned time off, and asked the waitress, when she came back with his Windhoek Lager, "can I get a cider, a Strong Bow Can, specifically the red one please." He looked at me, puzzled, and realized that he had calmed me down. I have been given full permission to take a breather, and I'm going to take advantage of it today. He then leaned back as if congratulating himself, saying how pleased he was that he had worked his charm and brought me to this stage.

We made small talk as we drank our beverages. “How about you, Michael, do you have a family?” I ventured, feeling like I was suspended in the air and looking for a safe landing. The relationship between employer and employee was unclear, and I was letting him lead the way. “I’m not married and I don’t have kids. I’m seeing someone, but I haven’t loved her for ages,” he answered. I had to know, “then why don’t you leave her?” He looked away briefly. I felt my thoughts racing. Had I overstepped? Had I crossed a line? “Society considers us a perfect match, suited for the role we play in it. Plus, my grandpa’s will stipulated that I had to tie the knot before I could get his business and wealth.”

I was dumbfounded, not sure what amazed me more, the millions or the dilemma he had. He revealed all this without flinching. “What went wrong, how did you lose your love for her?” “Well, she would benefit a lot from our wedding, she’s always hoping for me to propose. We were childhood friends, but then fame and prestige transformed her. She’s only after the money, and I’ve had enough. Grandpa probably assumed I would be New York’s hottest bachelor for a while more.”

“I could just hire someone to pretend to be my wife for a year.” The words found me stunned, and without any thought I replied, “If you’re looking for someone, pick me, I have nothing to lose, I guess.” We both blurted out our minds, without considering the consequences of our words.

We both stared at each other, wondering what we had done, as the words lingered in the air.